What Would Caligula Do?

Need advice? Ask Caligula!

by AngryAmerican
Dear Caligula, How do I get wine stains out of velvet? Signed, Alaina Vagimus
Dear Alaina, I would have your throat cut by the Praetorian Guard, and then direct your spurting blood over the wine stains thus concealing them.
Thanks for writing. And especially for including your return address.

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What Would Caligula Do?

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