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BigEvilDan


latest comics from people Big_Evil_Dave is following

by BigEvilDan
12-13-06
I bet nobody's been in these caves in-- AHH! A DINOSAUR!
Nice to meet you too, mammal.
What are you doing in here after all this time?
I'm waiting for my wife to return. She had to step out for a bit. Something about a comet. I'm sure she'll be back soon.
Uh... yeah. Good luck with that. I've... got to go do something.
Hey, if you run into her, tell her we're out of coffee.

by BigEvilDan
7-23-06
Look, the comic would have been done on time if he hadn't been goofing off.
Hey, if you're going to travel through time to deliver an ominous warning, the least you could do is help out.
If you'd listened to my ominous warning about his goofing off, none of this would have happened.
I told you your plan wouldn't work.
What, just because you were from the future and knew it would fail?
To hell with this. I'll just go write the comic myself.

by BigEvilDan
7-23-06
"Kirk squeezed the hairy balls tenderly..."
Whoa! Who are you?
I'm you, with a warning from the future. You need to win the next comic contest on Stripcreator or the universe will explode.
What, just because you're from the future, you're in charge of me? Why can't you do it?
Because I've got to go enter this week's lottery, you selfish jerk.

by BigEvilDan
7-23-06
So what do we do now?
I can send you back in time one week so that you can enter that contest.
If that's what needs to happen to save reality, I'll do it. But before I go, I must ask you one thing...
Could you say "********" for me?
Just go.

by BigEvilDan
7-23-06
What's going on here?
Those time travelling asian prostitutes from niteowl's comic said you were destined to win Comic Contest 327.
When you didn't even enter, you completely destroyed the space-time continuum.
So you could say I ********d the universe?
Do I really look like I'm in the mood for jokes?

by BigEvilDan
7-23-06
Man, maintaining the world's largest collection of erotic tribble fanfiction is really eating up my free time.
** FWOP! **
Oh, this can't be good.
FWOP? What the hell is a FWOP?

by BigEvilDan
5-26-06
Say man, why do you have the word Jesus written on your palm in magic marker?
Oh, that's to help with my masturbation problem.
That's a bit wierd, but whatever gets you going, dude.
No, you don't understand. Masturbation is a sin, so I wrote His name there to remind me whenever I have the urge to wank.
Does that actually work?
It did at first, but now I can't read the Bible without getting really turned on.

by BigEvilDan
5-03-06
It's been a rough year for your team. How did you manage to overcome all that strife and win the championships?
Between my battle with cancer, the plane crash that killed our coach, and the horrible stadium fire, things were looking pretty dark...
But I managed to pull through thanks to the love of Jesus Christ.
Unbelievable! I gave him cancer, blew up a plane, and torched the stadium, and he still manages to score the winning goal.
Quit your *****in' and pay up, J-Dog.

by BigEvilDan
2-05-06
Hello honey. Did you guys enjoy the movie?
Honey, I'm afraid we need to get a divorce.
What?! Why?
Larry and I are moving to San Fransisco, getting married, and becoming fashion designers.
Big Momma's House 2: Because Brokeback Mountain will make you totally gay.

by BigEvilDan
12-17-05
Thank you for doing your last minute gift shopping with us, mam. Happy Holidays!
Happy Holidays?! You're not one of those liberal heathens, are you?
All I said was--
Don't play innocent with me, young lady. Fox News told me all about how you athiests are trying to deny the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Wow. I used to think the War on Christmas was a pile of bull****, but at the moment I'm in favor of using tactical nukes against the whole damn holiday.
Just give me my flashing Santa tie.

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