people Buffylavalamp is following

Bargaintuan, itsclark, jmtapp, kaufman, umfumdisi

latest comics from people Buffylavalamp is following

by kaufman
Doctor, did I see you treating Mary Poppins this morning?
Yes, that was her. In the flesh!
You're kidding. What was wrong with her?
All sorts of things. Abdominal pain, shortness of breath, dryness, nausea, sliding up banisters, continually needing to pee, ...
Were you able to diagnose her?
Yes. It's supercalifragilisticketoacidosis!

by kaufman
We are the essential workers risking our health to keep you alive during this COVID-19 outbreak.
We are the hospital workers, grocery store workers, drivers, restaurant workers, public safety officers, everyone needed to keep society working.
Unfortunately, there just isn't enough PPE to protect us. They can't give us a bunch of N-95 masks.
It really sucks, doesn't it? We do this critical work, and there is no equipment to keep us safe.
So instead, we've been wearing these masks, and it turns out they're even more effective.
Because who in their right mind would want to get within six feet of any of us?

by kaufman
Hey everyone, I've got an idea. Inject yourself with bleach. It will protect you from the covfefid-19 virus.
Oh no, Uncle Ernie has died of the coronavirus. What will I do with him?
Just drop him in the washing machine, and your clothes will come out whiter than white.
Gee, thanks, Mr. President!

by kaufman
Hello, Mildred.
Hi Sue, how are you doing?
hanging in there, but going a bit stir-crazy. You?
Just wonderful. My best day in ages!
Really? How come?
Those kids down the street TPed my yard last night.

by kaufman
I stepped out on the first garbage day since the lockdown. It was surreal. A desolate street, with neatly lined up trash and recycling in front of each house.
Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

by kaufman
Dinosaurs will walk the earth.
Barbarians will overrun the Roman Empire.
What are you doing? This is supposed to be predictions for the upcoming decade.
Sorry, man, I guess I just don't have 20- 20 vision.

by umfumdisi
Stan hated to admit it, but he yearned for the boos of the crowd as much as the cheers and laughs. He was addicted to that sweet, sweet high of rejection -- one sauteed in repulsion and garnished with
just a hint of revulsion. It was that uneasy recipe which kept him coming back to the mic night after night. Luckily, that was the only high he craved. His lows were much more predictable and satiated
The remainder of his night would be a typical descending action where he checked into his hotel room, cranked up Steely Dan's "Deacon Blues", and rubbed out a quick one during the saxophone solo.

by umfumdisi
I hate to admit it...
I was hoping your bush would be a bit more pixelated.

by umfumdisi
Does it bother you when I stand here in my faded nightgown?
Uh oh, that sounds like the start of a Country Music song.
After waitin' all night while you been runnin' round town?
Kill me now.
Yeah, you been with your lover while I've been right here; knowin' you love me less than a glass of cold beer.
Well, you did sum up my life experience in a song. Touche.

by umfumdisi
Well, this is awkward.
I drove you out to the middle of nowhere so I could break up with you.
What's so awkward about that?
I think we're out of gas.
Car-wise or relationship-wise?

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