people DaveMonkey is following

Hanbidge, kramer_vs_kramer, not_Scyess, squidrabies


latest comics from people DaveMonkey is following

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. "
Dr King! Your dream has come true! We've now got a black president, and we're even allowing gay people to get married!
Hold on- there weren't any gays in my dream.
Well, there was one- but I'm hardly going to make speeches about that.

You have to help me officer. Somebody broke into my pants while I was asleep and left a big **** in there.
I see, and do you have a description?
Well, it was kind of half solid and half liquid, like if Salvador Dali had painted it.
No, I mean of the felon who did the deed.
I dunno, but the **** seemed to contain the hairs of a small rodent.
10-4, 10-4. get a warrant for Richard Gere's arrest immediately!

I am an unambitious waster type character with a temper and a drink problem.
I hate you!!!
IN THE PAST
Hi! I am an unambitious waster type character with a temper and a drink problem.
I love you!!!
AND THEN:
We are in a spaceship.

Hey! Those are some pretty impressive manboobs!
Yeah, and check it out - I can lactate!
I really need to lay off the milkshakes.

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by not_Scyess
7-01-10
That skirt looks like it's made of recycled fabrics.
It is. Green is the new black.
HEY, ******! GET OFF MY LAWN!

by not_Scyess
7-01-10
Good lord! I've been ****ing you for two years! It's like ****ing my whole family!
Also, I used to be a man.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! Holy ****! I just had the wost nightmare!!!
Wake up, sweetie! What is it?
*click*
I had this horrible dream where the girl I was ****ing turned out to be my sister.
Precious little chance of that, sweetie.

by not_Scyess
7-01-10
So wait... you're my sister... AND you're ****ing our dad?
You don't have to make it sound like it's a bad thing.
So who's the skanky ho Dad knocked up to produce you?
You know Aunt Melba?
I can't believe this.
Would you believe she's also our grandma?

by not_Scyess
7-01-10
I love you, Leela. We have fun together, and the sex is amazing. Will you marry me?
Well, I'm not sure...
What do you mean you're not sure? Don't you feel the same way?
Oh it's not that. It's just that your dad and my dad are... kind of the same person.
What! You knew this the whole time?! You let me strap me into the sex swing knowing you were my sister?
Just like Dad... he loves that thing, too.

by not_Scyess
5-06-10
**** YA!
OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO
I BE BALLIN' IT'S MY CALLIN' I DRIVE YOU MUTHA****AS UP THE WALL AN' I LEAVE Y'ALL ENTHRALLED AN'...
Say, Chester... there's something odd about this rendition of Beethoven's 9th, don't you think?
Yes, the chorus just doesn't sound right in English.

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