people Dimebag_Darrell is following

FriedMilk, Injokester, TMCG, TooMuchCoffeeGuy, VampireHunter_C790

latest comics from people Dimebag_Darrell is following

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by Injokester
I broke a mirror today and got 49 years bad luck.
Worth it to stop the little ******* from yapping.

by Injokester
I hate to tell you this Ben, but legally we do own you, and have every right to keep you nailed here to this cubicle.
What? Why? Because I'm black?!?
Nope, we slipped a clause in the fine print of your contract. Won't hold up, of course. At least not once you complain to the proper authorities.

by Injokester
Okay Sanderson, the company is bleeding money due to employee hand-holding. We need a slogan to promote self-sufficiency.
Teach a man to fish?
No good, if we don't provide training the staff will hold the company accountable.
Hmmm. How about "Teach a man to Google how to fish,"
"And you'll find out if he deserves to eat."

by Injokester
Bad news Chen, coffee will no longer be free in this office. From now on you'll have to get my refills from the company across the street.
But I can't get into their building without a pass, they have security.
Yes, but only on the first floor.
Now where do I get a form to requisition a hang-glider?

by Injokester
Well Chen, is everything in place to be rid of these wretched koala bears?
Yes sir, but I really must protest that...
Nonsense Chen, release the Koala-Eating Baboons!
Sir, if you will just listen for a few moments I can point out that...
And prepare the Baboon-Eating Giant Squid and reverse scuba equipment!

by Injokester
The koala bears are disgusting Chen, I think they're defective. See what you can do with the warranty or a return of some sort.
I don't think there's much we can do there sir, they didn't some from a store.
In fact you had me go on a 3 month safari to Australia in order to capture them and smuggle them back into the country.
Ah yes, I do recall a requisition order for a shipping crate of some sort.
And you sent me 36 ultra-large condoms and a tube of lubricant, that's correct.

by Injokester
Chen, this rat infestation is getting out of control.
Those aren't rats sir, they're koala bears.
Why the hell are there koala bears all over the office Chen?
It was your idea sir, you felt it would improve moral to introduce some "fluffy critters"
Well these ones aren't fluffy, they're greasy and smell of their own expulsions. I want them gone!
By that logic we also need to get rid of the IT department.

by Injokester
Hey Gene, what do you get if you cross motor oil, a bag of prunes and 2 kittens?
I don't know.
Neither do I.
But whatever it is, there's about a litre of it in your blender.

by Injokester
Chen, my new office is off to the side of the call centre floor, and I've decided you're coming with me. You'll be on a pod right outside.
I write computer code and deal with complicated financial equations, where's the benefit in me moving?
Primarily so I can monitor the progress of the team.
So you'll be monitoring the progress of the only other team member, who won't be able to work due to the high level of noise on 3 sides?
2 sides Chen, you'll have to wear a fake headset so the other employees don't get jealous.

by Injokester
Excellent news Chen, our R&D division has perfected their genetic hybrid of an Octopus and a razorblade. We're putting you on the project team.
As disturbing as that sounds I won't refuse to join a project where the legwork is done.
Excellent. Now meet myself and the rest of the project team at the batting cages down at the park.
And grab a sweater or something for protection, they're using a military-grade Octopus launcher!

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