All comics by Don_Ricardo

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by Don_Ricardo
4-25-01
It's time to play BANZAI place your bets now. Who shall win? Mystical Psyhic Bunny?....
...Or KO kid place your bets NOW!
Mystical Psyhic Bunny wins!
AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-25-01
I will become the best Pokemon Trainer in the world! No I am! me! me! ME!
HA! FAT chance dumb ass! You're looking at em! NO ME! me! me! ME!
THAT DOES IT!
ARGGH!
ARGGH!
There! Now neither of you are cause you're dead! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-25-01
Ladys & gentlemen I now sing for you... THE UNFINISHED SONG!
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
APPLAUSE
I Thank you!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-25-01
Ladys & gentlemen I now sing for you... THE UNFINISHED SONG!
LLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!
APPLAUSE
I Thank you!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-25-01
OK so the people think I'm the saviour, I have no problem with that BUT NO-ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THIS! What else could go wrong!
Don't worry Jesus I sing a song for you to ease the pain... SING A HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY SONG!...
I spoke too soon... OK GOD IF I REALLY AM YOUR SON THEN KILL ME NOW OR SHUT HER UP!
SOUNDS OF LIGHTNING (one hits Jesus...)
... SING A HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY SONG!
THANK YOU.....

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-25-01
Whassup dude!
Nothing much except I asked 'HER' out!
'GASP!' you don't mean 'Twin peaks' do ya? Because I just got a letter from her addressed to you
WELL yeah actually why?
A very BIZZARE END!
She says you're a F*!*!*! piece of S*!* & she was only F*!*!*! you about she's getting married to someone else!
In that case... tell me when her wedding is so I can kill the B*!*! otherwise P*!* off! and leave me with the only other love in my life A trash can!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-25-01
JACK The killer midget wants a fight with me after school what should I do?
OH NEAH WORRY MATE JUST SHOW IM YOUR NEAH SCARED OF THE FERCKING HAGGIS!
AFTER SCHOOL...
OH YEAH?! WELL COME ON THEN YOU PUFFY LITTLE MIDGET! I'm not afraid of you!
Well guess what dumb ass! It's pounding time 4 you! I'm surprised you even showed up! Considering how big a chicken you are!
LATER...
OH SHUT UP you scottish PUFF!
You fercking dumb ass!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-26-01
It all started when I found this ace download...
DOWNLOAD THE ULTIMATE WOMAN SIMULATOR NOW!
AHH YEAH! THEULTIMATE DOWNLOAD I'LL HAVE THAT THANK YOU!
30 YEARS LATER...
20% COMPLETE
DAMN! CAN'T THIS F*!*!*! THING GO ANY FASTER!
EVENTUALLY...
99% COMPLETE...... ACCH! INTERNET CONNECTION LOST! TRY AGAIN DUMB ASS!
NNNNOOOO!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-26-01
SHIT! I did it again! Every time I have to take a sexy bird to the afterlife I can't resist getting her in bed first! The devil's gonna be furious!
Oh well I guess ain't so bad...
Yo death! I got a message from the devil. He says you gotta take time off to think about what you did........Until you return this is your replacement...
YES! THANK YOU! But If you'll please excuse me right now I need to put my head in a bucket of water before I do something stupid!
WELL HELLO THERE! You must be death I hear you need time of to....

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-27-01
It looks lke it's all over for Janet as The evil plastic vadar has her cornered...
No! I'll neaver! You killed my brother Micheal!
You Cannot defeat me Janet jackson! Give yourself up! Give into the plastic side!
NO JANET! I AM YOUR BROTHER!
NNNNNNNOOOOOOO!
HE , HE, HE!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-27-01
Steve pulls on an Internet site for blind dates...
JOY! She wants me to meet her by the school got it!
That Night Steve takes some shit & dreams about his blind date...
OOOHHH YOU BEAUTY! Hug me!!!
The next day he heads for the school.... & meets his blind date
OH my................. FUCKING GOD!
Darling!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-27-01
Behold some of nature's mistakes the one eared bunny...
Hey fuck U too pal!
The purple....eh freaky looking cow &.....
thanks to my gun.....
I must kill you.....
Your MUM!
Kill the beast!
Don't even think about it!

 

by Don_Ricardo
4-27-01
HEY! What's going on?! Where the fuck am I?
Shut your gob! You're dead mate alright! one too many bits of herorine I think... Now come on! I've come to take to your afterlife...
Well I guess that ain't so bad I haveen't been a perfect person but hey who has? I'm going to heaven baby!
We're here...
OH NOOOO! Not the bad place anywhere but the *!*!*!*!!**!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*! bad place!
Welcome!...

 

by Don_Ricardo
5-02-01
dude... what are your feelings on the meaning of life?
Same as anyone else's dude I HAVEN'T got a fucking clue! I think it may have something to do with 'connecting' with people...
!!!
dude you're fucking sick!
non-sexually of course!

 

by Don_Ricardo
5-11-01
I wonder why I can't get any dates? What's wrong with me
AAAHHH........... GO F*CK YOURSELF!
Well HELLO THERE GORGOUS! What are you doing ere?
B*stard!
Hmm Maybe that's why?...............NAH!

 

by Don_Ricardo
5-11-01
One day god decided to warn someone...... OF THE COMING OF THE APOCOLIPS! (typo)
AH! FUCK! FIRE! AND WHAT'S WORSE IS IT TALKS!
PITIFUL MORTAL! I COME TO U... WITH A WARNING!
Where the FUCK did I put the the extinquiser?!
???????????????????
Later...
PHEW! Thank god for that! If this house had burnt down I'd be in DEEP SHIT! I've still got payments to make before this house is mine!
I....... am...... NOT HAPPY!

 

by Don_Ricardo
5-15-01
It was all going fine at the baby sitter club until....
Hello? Listen... U GOTTA HELP ME! THIS B*STARD KIDS GOT A FLAME THROWER! WHAT DO I DO?
Hello? this is the baby sitting advice hotline... How may I help you?
AAAHHH! DIE BITCH!
AAAHHH!
10 minutes later...
A LOT OF FUCKING GOOD THAT DOES ME!
You are held in a queue please wait... we appreciate your call...

 

by Don_Ricardo
5-15-01
Stick man's log stardate... Ah F*CK IT! All you need to know is I was @ a job interview and everything was going fine...
ah huh...
Well I've read you're resume & everything seems in order...
...until...
Not If she was as pretty as you!
...But before we continue I must ask... would you have a problem with a female boss?
...So in the end...
I gotta work on that resume!

 

by Don_Ricardo
5-16-01
One Day Gabe got run over by a car & found himself in hell!
oh fuck!, Oh fuck!, OH FUCK! IT'S SATAN! MY ETERNITY OF TORTURE BEGINS NOW!
HOLD ON! WE ain't that bad! We have improved or image since then... on Mondays we Take drugs until we puke! On Tuesdays we gamble as much as we want & that's just some of the SWEETSTUFF we do ere now!
One last thing....R U GAY?
OH well I guess it ain't that bad ere after all!
YOU'RE GONNA HATE SUNDAYS THEN!
NO WHY?

 

by Don_Ricardo
5-16-01
Steve had been playing games on his own for quite some time.... but now it was time for a change....
OK I've had enougth of crappy single play it's time I played online.... READY........NOW!
WOAH!
PREPARE TO DIE SHIT HEAD!!!!!
Please note my shitty typo on the PC...
SHIT! I fell off my stool! But what the FUCK was that?!!!!!!!!!!!
GEE..... Dunno your fucking computer?! It's assisssin ere & I'm gonna woop your character's ass! BYE-BYE!

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-08-01
One day Neal Took a day off work......and got caught
Hello Neal's pad, who's calling
Neal eh? It's your boss why the *!*!*!* hell arn't you at work! you have papers dueBLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.......
OII! Shut up man! R U being racist man! Cause if you are I'll sue your ass off!
Nnnn,no Neal eh I'm sorry forget I said that take the day off NO! A week & you enjoy it you deserve it
Damn right!
Click

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-08-01
Study two intelligence: typically (but not always!) The body tends to work more then the brain...
Hello there babe you look lost how about I show you around the town and on the way we can get to know each other
HELLO I AM HELGA I AM SWEDISH
HELLO I AM HELGA
So you're intersted then right?
HELLO I AM HELGA

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-08-01
moving to a new place requires the person to be able to addapt to their new surroundings otherwise things like this could happen...
Ah hello there my good man how are things
fine but who are you
Ah i'm Clango from the website dieselsweeties but that's not imporant right now I'm here to interview on behaf of a man who wants a job here the only problem is he can't speak English...
!!!!!!!
Well what Fucking good is he to me! this is A garage you tin can plonker! If he can't understand anyone how can he do the job if he's none the wiser even if i tell him the fuck off!

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-08-01
They have the strangest wedding traditions in existence such as this poor woman who has to marry someone she wouldn't be seen dead with!
OH great first I have to marry a dick & now my time has come to die!
no It's me sis I've come to take you to the wedding...
But I don't want to marry him
then the rules say i have to slice you up with this & drop your bits off a train!
In the end she concides perhaps the old traditions are the best
Oh well there's always devource!

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-20-01
one day dalamir
So anyway I know I got a date but she's white you're different from her you da bomb compared to that bitch!
OK I'm back from the ladies room. Why are you talking to that rocket?
OH ......... HEY BABY!
what the fuck is she talking about baby? what rocket?

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-20-01
BILL GATES! THIS IS GOD! Your time has come! but you're in a rather unique situation... you made almost everyone have the joy of owning a computer but you put that abomination Windows on it so you can
Where the hell am I? I need to get to a meeting regarding the XBOX!
...I'll give you tasters of both first hell...
WOAH! OK .... Stop right there! Hell for me please!
Fair Enough.......You want hell you got it!
Hey what gives! where'd she go?
That was the 'SCREEN SAVER!' HE HE HE!'

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-20-01
OH look it's that gypsy, pikie or whatever the hell he is! Hey man could you do me a favour? Ask him about the caravans he sells? I need one for as a new place to hide me drugs
I hate fucking Pikies but for you my friend I don't mind doing it....... you just ow me OK?
Scuse me mate, I hear you got caravans for sale I have a mate who's interested can you give me a contact number or something?
OHYAHMATEY! YUSANEHFIND A BETTER CARAVANSELLER THENICOMEWITHME I'VELEFTME BUSSINESSCARDS INMEVAN...
Did you understand a FLIPPING WORD OF THAT?!
Let me think...................NO

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-25-01
Well son.. wasted your life playing than abomination PKMN & now it's time for you to go...
take your best shot! I have a zillion different PKMN which could take you down just by sneezing on ya!
YOU IMBERCILE! WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?! ALL PKMN ARE PUFFS! BESIDES THERE'S ONLY 251! NO WHERE NEAR A ZILLION!
AAAAHHH!
IDIOT! remeber kids PKMN can ruin your life! & when it's over don't cheat death it's painful...
ouch.....

 

by Don_Ricardo
6-25-01
Atfer weeks of preparation he was ready to give it another go... by getting help from the devil!
OK now you're sure this chat up line is so good it's worth doing tht deal about losing my soul?
YEP...... GOOD LUCK YOU'LL NEED IT!
He decides to try it someone else first before trying it on the object of his affection...
Hey babe how'd you like your eggs?
Unfertalised! So piss off!
Shortely later...
So how'd it go? HE HE!
YOU STINGY GIT! DEALS OFF!

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