people Drefsab is following

evil_d


latest comics from people Drefsab is following

by evil_d
9-19-18
Avast, matey! I be here to plunder a burger, a large fries, and all yer doubloons!
Oh, hold on, I have a button to press in situations like this.
Whoa, take it easy man. I'm just celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day; no need to call the cops.
I'm not pressing the panic button. This is the zap-customers-who-think-they're-funny button.

by evil_d
9-12-18
Harold Jefferson, you died of a heart attack at 3:07 this morning. It is time for your soul to be weighed.
You don't look like God.
You've never seen God; only pictures drawn by humans. Now, it says here that you merged in front of another driver and then slowed down a grand total of 1,683 times?
I'd like you to balance that against the fact that I always tipped the Girl Scouts a dollar extra when I bought cookies.
It doesn't count if you try to stuff it in their bras. C'mon, lava pools are this way.

by evil_d
7-17-18
Putin told me that he didn't interfere with our elections, and I believe him. That should be all there is to it!
I tell my wives I'll stay with them and they believe me. I tell banks I'll pay them back and they believe me.
For more on this philosophy, read my new book, Your Life Will Be Better If You Believe What I Tell You.

by evil_d
5-04-18
Hey man, the end of days is coming up in a few years and I really need people distracted while I make some preparations.
Think you can draw the world's attention for a bit?
Stand back and watch the maestro at work, sonny.

by evil_d
4-13-18
Well, that universe was a bust. I think I need to make the dominant species smarter.
Aye, that'd be a good start.
Wh— What are you doing here? You're supposed to be disappeared like the rest of existence!
Search me, mate. Last thing I remember is falling into the loo at the pub.
Oh, so that's where I left the other end of that portal.

by evil_d
4-10-18
Planet Earth was a sinking ship. I always said so. But I knew I could count on you to bring me aboard your two-person spaceship, Elon.
You forced me to at gunpoint. I wanted to bring a woman so we could restart the species.
Ah, women are overrated. All they do is lose their looks and then describe your ***** to everyone.
Hey, let's find that car you launched up here and take it for a spin.
Do you think oxygen is a Chinese hoax, or what?

by evil_d
3-29-18
So you're saying that a person can't escape the cycle of reincarnation until they balance out both their good and their bad deeds?
Yes. All the karma that one has accumulated, both good and ill, must be repaid.
So when this plane crashes, instead of going to heaven...
You will be reincarnated, due to all of the good karma you have earned from ministering to your parishioners.
That's dumb as ****.
Well, there might still be time to molest a kid or two if you hurry.

by evil_d
3-20-18
Companies getting their hands on my Facebook data and using it for nefarious purposes is the sort of thing I used to worry a lot about.
That was back when I had the sense to be ashamed of my personal data. Now my attitude is, if somebody sees my info, that's their problem.
Sir, we have data saying that 53-year-old meth-smoking horse-incest-porn enthusiasts from Terre Haute are overwhelmingly likely to vote Republican.
Do we have an algorithm that can make me forget I ever heard that?

by evil_d
3-19-18
I used to worry about fossil fuels and emissions and all that crap.
Then I realized—**** it. The planet's dying, we're dying. Only thing I get to choose is whether I go out behind the wheel of a Mustang or a Prius.
You don't have to die behind the wheel of a car at all!
Whaddaya think, was that bump just now a squirrel or a hobo?

by evil_d
3-14-18
Got any spare change?
No, but here's a lottery ticket. Hope you get lucky.
*POOF*
Wow, I won! Thanks mister!
Holy cow!
The next week:
Wait, what happened?
Invested it all in Bitcoin.

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