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latest comics from people EvilZak is following

So, it didn't work out, eh?
Yeah, in the end I guess we were attracted to each other, but just not compatible.
Like guns and Florida.
Like dancing and alcohol.
Like toilet seats and crabs.
Like Buicks and handicapped placards.

by kaufman
The White House, April 13, 1865
I'm sorry, honey, I guess I just have a lot on my mind.
That's ok, dear. We'll work it out.
The next day, the First Lady is dusting off a lamp in the Lincoln Bedroom, when suddenly:
You have freed the Genie of the Lamp. To show my gratitude, I will grant you one wish. But remember, I am a bit hard of hearing.
A wish? I guess what I really want is to get Abe Viagra.
Your wish shall be granted tonight.

by kaufman
Ford's Theatre, April 14, 1865
Sic semper tyrannis!
Ugh! I've been hit!
Mary! Who is that man who appeared in our box? He took a bullet that was intended for me.

by kaufman
It started at dinner many years ago when a little piece of string slipped into his spaghetti. He ate it unknowingly, and the little bit of string thrived in his virile Vigoda juices.
It grew and grew, until it was hundreds of miles long, and agglomerated into a giant ball. Abe's body could no longer function, so his relatives came from far and wide to memorialize the great man.
Today, people come from across the land to see the miraculous shrine that his perforated corpse has become.
We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine ...
... in Abe Vigoda!

by TheGovernor
God damn it, I just got back from heaven and that was Mickey Rooney, the boss was not impressed
You must have misheard, I'm Jim Hellwig, also known in the Wrestling circuit as 'The Ultimate Warrior', see here's my id.
Ok that checks out I guess I'll be on my way.
Let me get this straight, Mickey Rooney I could understand, but you're telling me you couldn't tell the difference between a professional wrestler and a 93-year-old actor?

by TheGovernor
Abe Vigoda, it's time to meet your maker
You've got the wrong man, I'm.... Mickey Rooney, Yeah Mickey, that's it! IMDB must have our photos mixed up.
My mistake, sorry for scaring you.
No problem Death, happens all the time, like two peas in a pod me and Mick.. I mean Abe.

You're clean, right?
But you probably should have asked before you screamed, "I want your **** in my ass, now!"
Cool...good night.

What should we do next?
I'm going to the bathroom.
Why aren't you following me?

by evil_d
CUT!! Good job, everybody. This will be the best Law & Order episode ever. Abe, you were great as the dead guy. You can get up now.
Uh, sir... Mr. Vigoda isn't moving.
What commitment! What thoroughness! Can you believe what a great actor this guy is?
Best we can tell, he played such a convincing dead body that even his own heart believed it.
SUCH a great actor!!

This letter looked important, so I thought I'd bring it to the door.
Thanks. got a package for me?

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