people EvilZak is following

AccentuateNegative, BigEvilDan, boinky33, boorite, burt_reynolds, Choobychooby, dcomposed, DMSO, evil_d, Externalization, gabe_billings, Inflatable_Man, JESUSSANDWICH, KajunFirefly, kaufman, kramer_vs_kramer, maxawa, mmyers, niteowl, ObiJo, retard, TheGovernor, thochaos, TimmyThePervert, wirthling


latest comics from people EvilZak is following

by kaufman
5-18-18
Hello, I'm the Invisible Man, doing a public service announcement on the effects of Viagra.
Ok, let me pop a few of these pills and we'll see if anything happens.
I don't think it's working ... wait a minute,... Ooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

by kaufman
5-13-18
Ok, we've done your ultrasound, and once I take a look at it, you and your husband will know if you're having a boy or a girl.
So what happens now?
He says in a moment the lighting in this room will change. Blue if it's a boy and pink if it's a girl. I'm so excited, I can't wait!
What the? What's going on? DOCTOR, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
STILLBORN!

by kaufman
5-11-18
Oh my god, Jesus, they've crucified you! Who did this to you?
The Romans.
The Romans? But why?
I ... I turned their water into wine.
And they did this to you?
How was I to know the goyim couldn't stand the taste of Manischewitz?

by evil_d
5-04-18
Hey man, the end of days is coming up in a few years and I really need people distracted while I make some preparations.
Think you can draw the world's attention for a bit?
Stand back and watch the maestro at work, sonny.

by evil_d
4-13-18
Well, that universe was a bust. I think I need to make the dominant species smarter.
Aye, that'd be a good start.
Wh— What are you doing here? You're supposed to be disappeared like the rest of existence!
Search me, mate. Last thing I remember is falling into the loo at the pub.
Oh, so that's where I left the other end of that portal.

I'm a Gold Card Gay. I've never had sex with a woman.
I'm a Platinum Card Gay. My mom had a C-Section, so I've never even touched a vagina.
Rhodium Card?
Honey, I don't even eat tacos.

by evil_d
4-10-18
Planet Earth was a sinking ship. I always said so. But I knew I could count on you to bring me aboard your two-person spaceship, Elon.
You forced me to at gunpoint. I wanted to bring a woman so we could restart the species.
Ah, women are overrated. All they do is lose their looks and then describe your ***** to everyone.
Hey, let's find that car you launched up here and take it for a spin.
Do you think oxygen is a Chinese hoax, or what?

by evil_d
3-29-18
So you're saying that a person can't escape the cycle of reincarnation until they balance out both their good and their bad deeds?
Yes. All the karma that one has accumulated, both good and ill, must be repaid.
So when this plane crashes, instead of going to heaven...
You will be reincarnated, due to all of the good karma you have earned from ministering to your parishioners.
That's dumb as ****.
Well, there might still be time to molest a kid or two if you hurry.

by evil_d
3-20-18
Companies getting their hands on my Facebook data and using it for nefarious purposes is the sort of thing I used to worry a lot about.
That was back when I had the sense to be ashamed of my personal data. Now my attitude is, if somebody sees my info, that's their problem.
Sir, we have data saying that 53-year-old meth-smoking horse-incest-porn enthusiasts from Terre Haute are overwhelmingly likely to vote Republican.
Do we have an algorithm that can make me forget I ever heard that?

by evil_d
3-19-18
I used to worry about fossil fuels and emissions and all that crap.
Then I realized—**** it. The planet's dying, we're dying. Only thing I get to choose is whether I go out behind the wheel of a Mustang or a Prius.
You don't have to die behind the wheel of a car at all!
Whaddaya think, was that bump just now a squirrel or a hobo?

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