people EvilZak is following

AccentuateNegative, BigEvilDan, boinky33, boorite, burt_reynolds, Choobychooby, dcomposed, DMSO, evil_d, Externalization, gabe_billings, Inflatable_Man, JESUSSANDWICH, KajunFirefly, kaufman, kramer_vs_kramer, maxawa, mmyers, niteowl, ObiJo, retard, TheGovernor, thochaos, TimmyThePervert, wirthling

latest comics from people EvilZak is following

by evil_d
Andrew, I've sent you a batch of employee performance reviews. I want you to go through and weed out the lazy ones.
Haha, nobody says "weed out" Mr. Davis, you mean you want me to smoke them up.
I'm not asking you to give them marijuana, you nitwit. I'm asking you to sort them out so we can get rid of them!
So wait... we're firing the lazy people?
Man... working for a company that makes pot holders has been so different from what I expected.

by dcomposed
I thought my date last night went pretty well but I'm really confused by this text he sent me this morning.
What does it say?
It says 😁🍆🐴🕛😉. Any idea what that means?
I think it means that you're a pedophile.

by dcomposed
So how are you finding single life?
Well it's nice relaxing on my own but there are times I wish I still had a boyfriend.
Like when you are lying in bed and want someone to cuddle with? Or when you go out and everyone else is in a couple?
More like when I can't be arsed making a cup of tea.

by dcomposed
Ok Phil the beaver formation is working and you're all doing well with the hopscotch passing method. But they are moving into our touchzone too often so we're going to have to try the tickle defense.
Whose **** did you suck to be made head coach?
What? That's outrageous! I got this positon based on my merits!
What merits?
...I'm the only black man in town.

by evil_d
Hello, can I help you?
yeah i gotta appointment for the 22th
Um... today's only the 19th.
yeah thats right i gotta appointment for the 19th for 22th
I'm not understanding. Are you saying you have a 19th appointment and a 22nd appointment?
i think yer dentist is gonna need longer'n twenty second to look at my twenty tooth

by kaufman
Hi, Liz.
Hey, Bobby Sue, how was your date last night?
Awful, boring. He was no excitement whatsoever. I need something more! Where are all the bad boys?
Let me guess. You'd be turned on by being driven home by some drunk tattooed guy in a beat-up pickup who's missing a few teeth.
Oh, god, yes! That would be so romantic. But where would I find a guy like that?
I have good news. There's a new app available for download. It's called gUber.

by kaufman
2:00 PM: Takeoff ifrom Kathmandu
1:45 PM: Flying over Afghanistan
1:15 PM: Ready to land in Baghdad
Don't you love these Concordes?
Yeah, but not half as much as I dig weird time zones.

by evil_d
7 am
I need seventy 2x4s and some wood screws. I'm building a deck!
8 am
Okay, turns out I need a bunch more stuff. Some landscape stakes, wood glue, primer, sealer, a saw, and a lot more lumber in different sizes.
9 am
What do you need now?
The phone number of a good contractor.

by evil_d

by evil_d
I asked you to make something that I could award to the winner of our pinewood derby.
But what I unwrapped, in front of the whole troop and their parents, was a small statue of what appeared to be a feline's hindquarters.
Is that a problem?
Problem?? It's a catasstrophy!

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