people Interlocking_Man is following

ClashTheStampede, HeavyDuty, Kaddar, r2_d2


latest comics from people Interlocking_Man is following

by r2_d2
4-22-12
Heaven, 2:30 p.m.
So how did you end up here?
Car accident. You?
I went swimming at the beach during my vacation to Florida.
So, you drowned? Shark attack?
No, there was a box jellyfish off the coast of New Zealand.
Let me guess: when you were alive, you ran a homeopathic medicine shoppe, didn't you?

by r2_d2
3-02-12
It's not that I'd win too much money. It's that I have just one interesting personal fact for the interview segment:
Some people collect stamps. Some people collect baseball cards. But our next contestant has a rather unique collection of his own:
That's right, Alex. I collect Popeye dolls. But not just any Popeye dolls—only Popeye dolls that I've won out of crane machines.
In fact, I'm in the process of verifying it with Guinness, because I do believe I have a legitimate claim to the World's Largest Crane Machine Popeye Dolls Collection title.
How large is your collection?
And except for the Guinness part (because I'm too cheap and lazy to do the paperwork), this is 100% true.
I have three such Popeyes.
I hate my job.

by r2_d2
12-05-11
Robin Hood?! Impossible! You and your Merry Men could never break through the defenses of Nottingham Castle!
I know what you're thinking, Sheriff. "Did he fire six arrows or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself.
But being as this is a Welsh longbow, the most powerful bow in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Well, yes, actually, I am. I can see your quiver is empty.
Awww, ****.
GUARDS!

by r2_d2
8-22-11
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy!
Some girl to thrill me, and then go away!
Hey, beggars can't be choosers.

by r2_d2
8-20-11
When I was your age it was common for a kid to get left out socially Friday morning because his parents wouldn't let them watch The Simpsons. Yet you kids have Jersey Shore and—
I don't believe you, old man.
Yes, the fact that know this means I'm over 30, which is why I get to start sentences with "When I was your age".
No, really. The Simpsons used to be on Thursday nights.
No, not that part.
I mean the part about one kid having multiple parents.
'strue. Not only did we know who our dads were, we actually lived in the same house as them.

by r2_d2
8-20-11
Suicide hotline, Jeff speaking.
I've got a problem here. I got fired eight months ago, and since the unemployment checks ran out, I still haven't found a job.
Well, sir, you have to understand that the economy's been hard for everyone—
—says the guy who's getting paid to answer the phone! I have no prospects. I went in to the garage and started up the truck.
Sir, I can't let you do this. I'm alerting the paramedics right now.
Yeah, well, call 'em off. With the price of gas these days, I couldn't build up enough exhaust to get the job done.

by r2_d2
6-15-11
And is there any reason you couldn't make an impartial descision if you were on this jury?
Well, I can tell just by looking at that woman that she's guilty.
All right. I think we can dismiss you.
Why? Just because the ***** is black?
No. Because Mr. Reynolds here is the defendant. I'm the prosecutor.

by r2_d2
1-06-11
Noah! Hast thou yet finished all I have commanded of thee?
Right on schedule, Lord!
What in My Name is this?
It's an Ark, 300 cubits long by 50 cubits wide by 30 cubits high, just like Thou commandedest!
Thou idiot! I asked for an arcade full of 300 rows of 50 Q-Berts! I'm gonna see to it your descendants will have to build pyramids as a punishment for this!
Oh, so that's why Thou wantedest two of every kind of snake.

by r2_d2
9-24-10
(I know what you were thinking, you sick monkey. -ed.)
Hey, how's it going?
Well, my wife left me.
Bummer. Why'd she do that?
Well, it was the damndest thing. Last week, she actually stopped talking for the first time in seven years.
Amazing!
Yeah, but before I had a chance to enjoy it, she told me I "don't communicate enough".

by r2_d2
9-01-10
This is an actual conversation I had with a ladyfriend, almost verbatim.
But, you're lucky. When men go long enough without getting married, you get to be a "Bachelor". I, on the other hand, will be an "Old Maid" or a "Cat Lady", and noone wants to be the Cat Lady.
Don't forget "Spinster"! And the problem you neglect is that "bachelor" is only for unmarried men who can at least still get a date.
The ones like me, on the other hand, well let's just say people start wondering if their bachelorhood needs "confirmation".
(For the record, ladies, R2 is still single, wink wink nudge nudge.
And while neighborhood kids might be afraid of her, at least their parents let them sell Girl Scout cookies at the Cat Lady's house.
But look on the bright side, the candy you give out on Halloween is the scariest on the block!

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