All comics by Jesus_on_a_stick

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I spy...
...with my little eye...
...something made of wood.
This game sucks.

 
I can see your house from here.

 
I gotta pee.

 

Remember when I used to turn water into wine?
Yup.
I sure wish it would rain.

 

and to think that all of this was bought at Home Depot for under ten bucks.
What a bargain.
I wish they had sorung for the galvanized nails.

 

That Moses sure was gullible.
Shoulda added "Thou shalt not use the son of God as building material".

 
I'm thinking of converting to Bhuddism.

 
Have you been working out?

 

So I hear your mother was a virgin.
That's right.
Wasn't that her on the cover of 'Crack Whore' magazine last month?

 

So I says to her 'Drink of my blood, eat of my flesh."
Oh man, what'd she say?
She said "Here? Now?"
That's so cool.
Then she bit a chunk outta my fuckin' arm.

 

Here, here, gimme a funny point. What's big and purble and eats rocks?
Dude...
A big purple rock eater!
I hate you.

 

All the children say...
We don't need another hero.
We don't need to know the way home.
we want is life beyond...
the Thunderdome.

 

So I bought myself a new ball glove.
That's great.
I joined a softball league and everything.
That's great.
Do you think they'll let me down to play on Tuesday?
That's great.

 

Looks like a thunderstorm's rolling in.
Yup.
Kinda makes you glad they used wood for these crucifixes.
Yup.

 

So I heard there was a war recently
Yup, it was all over the television.
Awesome
Bombs exploding and eveything
So who won?
Last I heard CNN was ahead by twenty points in the ratings.

 

by Jesus_on_a_stick
10-11-06
So I tried out for American Idol
How'd that go?
How does it look like it went?
Damn that Simon is harsh

 

by Jesus_on_a_stick
10-11-06
Remeber when I raised Lazarus from the dead?
Yeah, that was pretty impressive.
Right about now, I just wish I could scratch my nuts.

 

by Jesus_on_a_stick
10-11-06
Do you think they'll let us down today?
Probably not.
Do you think they'll let us down tomorrow?
Probably not.
I guess there's not much point in making a Christmas list once again.

 

I hear you auditioned for that Mel Gibson movie.
Yeah.
How'd that work out.
I didn't get the part.
They said I didn't look Jewish enough.

 

*sniff* *sniff*
Dude. That's sick.
I guess I shouldn't have held the last supper at Taco Bell

 

Man it's been hot this week.
I heard they're taking us to the beach tomorrow.
Awesome!
Somehow, this is not what I had envisioned.

 

Do you know what time it is?
No.
My watch stopped two days ago.
And I haven't been able to wind it.

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