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"What are you doing for 'Show and Tell', Butch?"
I'm going to circumcise Gary, Miss Crabbynipple.
"Sounds dangerous... Do you have any experience in circumcision?"
None at all!
"How do you feel about that, Gary?"
Scared!
I'M GOING TO ACCIDENTLY CUT OFF YOUR ENTIRE PENIS IF YOU DON'T STOP SHAKING!!!!

Meanwhile, back on Planet You're-On-My-Bench-Fuck-You x3 WTF...
You're on my bench!
Fuck you!
You're on my bench!
Fuck you!
You're on my bench!
Fuck you!

Every evening, Crabby stands outside his home feeding his baby, waiting for his wife to return home from work...
Mommy will be coming home anytime, baby Ashley!
The sad part is his wife left him seven years ago!
Anytime now...
What's even sadder is his baby was stillborned seven years ago (which is coincidently why his wife left him!)
*sniff* Smells like you're overdue for a changing, baby Ashley!

Aaaahhhhhh...
There's nothing like scratching your ass crack on a table leg!
You know, we eat off that table!
You also eat out my butthole during sex, so what's your point?

Oh mighty vent in the wall... Can you answer a question for me?
Lay it on me, little one...
The previous comic mentioned something about "coitis"... What is that?
It's when a man inserts his ***** into a woman's vagina (*pant*), and he thrusts it back and forth (*PANT*) until he UUUUUNNNGH!! NUUUUNNNGGH!!!
You okay?

Go ahead and do it, Butch... I deserve to be stabbed in the back for sleeping with your wife!
That can wait... But first, were you able to make my wife achieve orgasm?
Yes... She came like Niagara Falls at high tide!
Really? I can never make her come!
Try inserting you thumb in her ass during coitis.

May I help you?
Is your husband home?
No... He's out of town. Staying at a sleezy motel. Fucking your wife.
Do you know when he'll return?
When he's done ****ing your wife, dip****!

Aaaahhhh... Nothing like the beauty of the forest!
If, these trees could speak, I wonder what they'd say...
We'd say you're standing in a big pile of moose ****, you ****ing moron!
And, lovin' it!

I think you need to man-up matey... You need to be going inside and telling your wench what is what!
I tried that already. Why do you think I look like this?
This reminds me of the time I went up against Black Beard mano-a-mano and-
*Actually, that's then end of the story.
Geez, not another one of your lame-ass pirate stories!
Wait... I'm getting to the best part! I came home early one day, and there was Black Beard, ****ing my wife*.

"May I help you?"
We're here to be milked...
"No problem... Our bottling fee is $4 per half gallon."
Cool... Do we do it outside or over in the barn?
"Wait... We talking the both of you?"
Yeah... I'm good for three-and-a-half half gallons myself!
He usually comes like a Peter North two-hour spooge compilation video!

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