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latest comics from people Lord_Vodek is following

by Beeko180
4-23-18
Human beings creating a thing that can't be used to hurt people is like...
...a child...
...picking up a rock...
...or a chair...
...or by some horrifically magical manner a bus and then insisting that it can't be pelted through the skull of that girl across the room from them that they ****ing hate...
...harder than Adolf Hitler loved eugenics.

I want my hair to look like yours !
That's great ! I do have great hair, right ? Great men should have great hair. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to have great hair.
You can have OK hair or really good hair but, why settle for that when your hair can be great ? My hair has been looking great for as long as I can remember.
I want my hair to be great like yours
Great ! The job's yours. When can you start ?

by edoggydog
4-22-18
*RCL no. 6192
When it comes to cancer, I say FUCK cancer!
Groovy!
Except kids' cancer... I only whack off to that.
I mean, I don't want to be accused of being a pedophile or something...
Or something.

Well..?
Do you serve hot donkey cum lattes here or not??

YOU CAN'T LOCK ME UP!
I'M SATAN, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!
"Ha, ha... I get it."
Get what?

by brycekain
4-22-18
Look, YOU hired me to kill a hooker, duct tap her vajay-jay, and throw her in the landfill! I'm a METHOD ACTOR and I have to get into my roles!
Dude, when we hired you to do this movie I said that you would be in some scenes killing time by throwing away my old VHS tapes of T.J. Hooker. You really ARE ****ty at this job!
So I lured that guy Ron over to your house and killed the ******* when he said he was ****ing your wife. Hey, wait, you said you'd have a camera crew outside the house! Where the hell is everyone??
And CUT! Thank you, Mr. Blake. I gotta go take a drive now.

Pinky tries his hand at standup at the local laundromate...
...and then I asked the cleaners if they really washed my clothes because they still smell like ASS!
Get it? Ass? Because, I'm a DONKEY?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*crickets*
Thank you... I'll be here until my load dries!

What the...? I was so concentrated on drying this dish I've wandered into the bad part of town.
Hopefully, I can sneak out before some homeless ruffian sees me.
"Hey, sweet tits... Lose that ****ing plate and come give me a *******!"
Oh, my god... Do you really think my tits are sweet?

Two months into home ownership and I'm already three months behind on my mortgage!
And, the only reason I bought this hovel was to impress my girlfriend, who left me for a retarded, transgendered Pakistani!
Hopefully, the bank will give me that loan modification or me blowing the manager, teller, night custodian and that guy at the drive-up window will be for not!

Typical millenial:
Water.
I SAID, WATER!!
"The watercooler is self-service, Brandy. You have to pour your own water yourself."
FUCK THAT!! I QUIT!!!

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