The Suicide File

Thank God I don't do this for a living.

Hello, you have reached The Suicide File Hotline, how are you going to die today?
I can't stand this anymore, I'm under weight and I can't gain any pounds!
Err... why don't you try and eat something?
Eww! I hate food! I can't stand it! Everything makes me want to puke! One grain of rice will give me the runs for weeks!
May I suggest...
Wait, wait... I got the pizza man on the other line.

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The Suicide File

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