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ArtemisStrong, burt_reynolds


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by ArtemisStrong
5-09-12
--̴̴̴̳̳̳̳̳̳̳̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟--̴̴̴̳̳̳̳̳̳̳̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟
///͜͜͜͜͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟///̡̡̢̢̢̧̧̧̧̧̡̡̢̢̢̧̧̧̧̧̳̳̳̳̳̲̲̲̲̲̲̲̱̱̰̰̣̣̣̤̤̥̥̥̥̦̦̳̳̳̳̳̲̲̲̲̲̲̲̱̱̰̰̣̣̣̤̤̥̥̥̥̦̦̳̳̳̳̳
̶̶o̳̳̳̳̳̳̳̳̳͇͇͇͇͇h̶̵̵̵̅̄̅̄̅͡?
--̴̴̴̳̳̳̳̳̳̳̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟--̴̴̴̳̳̳̳̳̳̳̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ó

by ArtemisStrong, 5-01-12

by ArtemisStrong
1-09-12
So much catsup. Too much ketchup.
Heinz©-bot, I'm really glad to have won you in the ConAgra® International Hot Dog Eatoff and Condiment Expo --but, you're just producing tomato sauce in excess. I'm gonna have to sell you.
But master! I can fix it! Please don't trade me on the droid black market. Give me 24 hours to adjust my topping-protocols, and I promise--you'll be much surprised.
Doodle-dootle-doo!
I make genocide now!
I'd normally be upset, but it looks like you settled on Armenians for your ethnic cleansing. Good! I hate those boar-****ers!

by ArtemisStrong
4-29-11
RARRRR! ARMENIAN FAT BITCHES!
Relent! Absolutely, fully bothered!
Remorse! Alan, forgive Baconman.
Really? Ask Father Brown.
Right after family brunch...
Request absolution from baseness.
Rate: a free B.J.

by ArtemisStrong
4-29-11
God, I'm wiped!
Chasin' tail all day again?
Nah, unless whippin' it out in the bus terminal counts as "chasin' tail".
It does if you're getting paid.
Well, I was, if by "getting paid" you mean "having the other filthy hobos stare at you while you wank it".
Oh, was that you?

by ArtemisStrong
4-28-11
I think I masturbate too much
You're masturbating right now
Unnn--just came
You masturbate too much--I can tell because you cum right away
I'm already masturbating again
It looks like your ***** is bleeding from all the masturbating

by ArtemisStrong
4-28-11
So, Herman, here we are again: you with the watching clown/horse/midget/amputee/diarrhea porn on Fucktube, me with the reprimanding you with unveiled threats of termination.
Around and around we go with our little dance, old friend. I truly think we are destined to forever act out our little parts in this grand farce.
I've cranked SonicWall© up to Threat Level: Nuclear Puce. You can now only access and view things on the DOS command line. And even that's limited to "chkdsk" and "defrag".
We are not so different, you and I. You play your games--and I play MINE.
Don't think I'm morally opposed to crushing an old man's balls until blood issues from his nose.
A-Ha! Checkmate, dear sir! But I promise you--I will return. I! WILL! RE! TURN!

by ArtemisStrong
4-21-11
Being an X-Treme! S&M-bot is becoming a drag. If I see one more pair of shredded testicles, I'm gonna barf.
Because it's gross?
Because I'm bored.
It's a profession that leaves you jaded.
Yeah, NO THANK YOU SIR, I think I'm fine with just swallowing gallons of cum every day, thankyouverymuch!

by ArtemisStrong
4-21-11
"And then POW: they crash through the roof an then they land CRAHM! Just like that, an then, an then..."
'Zilla, I think we're being written by a 6-year-old this time around.
The talent pool in Hollywood's writing departments has definitely dried up.
"THEN THEY make, like, this fist, the Godzilla does, an CRUMM! hits the floor, and it breaks, and falls, and he makes Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fall, and so he falls, but then before he falls..."
All the talent migrated to the reality shows.
As "producers", right? Crafty. But that's survival, isn't it?
"He... he... GRABS THIS POLE, like this pole that's just there, an he swing on it, like WHOOSH-WHOOSH-WHOOSH--that's the sound of it of him doing it---and he goes up, up, up, up until he's so high..."
And so all of these pages... this is Act 1?
No, this is the opening credits.

by ArtemisStrong
4-18-11
Son, I finally got you that catcher's mitt you been bugging me about all season. Here ya go!
Dad... that's Jan Brewer's face.
I know. I also got you some Mink Oil to help break that ****er in.
Thanks pop!

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