All comics by Motts

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by Motts
9-10-02
One fine day
Finally, I got this strip creator to work....If only you could import your own pictures....hmmm..fried telephone cords.....yes.......
Yeah, I found it quite easy to make strips. Check out this one!
Let the fun begin!!
....................HEY, WHAT THE FUCK!! YOU DID A STRIP ABOUT FUCKING MY GIRLFRIEND ON ACID!?!
haha! yeah! isn't it great!?
And now...parents tell their kids about joking around with Greg's girlfriend

 

by Motts
9-13-02
A typical Morning
Hey Christopher, lets get ready for school.
YOU'RE MY FAVORITE BROTHER GREGGY!!
Dad wants you to wear your sandals..
But i dont want to.
I don't know where that came from..
................
WAAAAA!! YOU MADE ME HURT MYSELF!!

 

by Motts
9-14-02
You know, its not that i don't trust her, its only that i dont trust those other guys there. I wish i could just be there to fend off those fuckers.
Well atleast you have a girlfriend, mine just dumped me for other women, how shitty does that feel?
I should just ask Teresa tomorrow if anyone so muched as looked at her, then i could compile these people onto a list, and then find unique ways for them to die for each number that represents them...
You know, she said she wanted to talk to me, but then she ignores me....pssht, 4 days.....FUCK WOMEN!
Mmmmmm....Caffine..
You wanna go get some StarBucks?
Did you listen to anything I was saying?!.....ok, lets go..

 

by Motts
9-16-02
LOOK!! A CUSTOMER!!
Can I get my water tested here?
.................Yeah.......
You need a bunch of shit because you are a dumbass and can't maintain a simple fucking pool....Dumbass!
..........O..Kay....
: )
Buy a cleaner.
OKAY!!

 

by Motts
9-18-02
Me so angry.
HEY!...Greg, what's up......You know...I....I LIKE KERRI!! GOD PLEASE DONT KILL ME!
Are you..Stupid?!
Grrrrrr, I hate people.
..............No.......
Are you mocking me?
..........I like dots.....
.........
................

 

by Motts
9-18-02
Ex's are stupid......really fucking stupid..
Yo, Kerri. I think im cool because i have a lot of friends. want to meet them?
Umm....No.
See what I mean?
Hey guys! Here she is!
I said no..
This is where I find out....he he..
Hey, what's your name again? You're hot. Wanna go out?

 

by Motts
9-18-02
An interuption to a perfect day....
Hey, Kerri, I love you. I use a mac because i am better than you.
Hold on, there is someone I would like you to meet...
See why I hate people?
Cool man, is it another hot chick?
Who the hell are you?
Do you think he wants to die? Or would he prefer to be put into an arena with a dozen rabid skunks hyped up on LSD?
Yo dude. I'm Kerri's Ex. And im gonna hook up with her again.
No..You aren't..

 

by Motts
9-19-02
A little awkward? no?
........Hey Tiffany...
....Hey..
Ludacris style. C'mon! YOOOOZ A HOE!
..So, what have you been up to?..
Oh nothing, just got a new boyfriend, he is 26. I'm cool. all we do is have sex alot.
I need to do comics on something else..
Hey, where are you going?

 

by Motts
9-20-02
Parents suck too, they fall under the category of 'People'
No, she can't go. It sounds too much like a date.
But haven't we been 'dating' all this time now?
My manipulative mind....haha
My mom says I can't go with you.
Yeah you can, I persuaded her in to letting you go.....
Yeah! she just..dissapeared, it was weird!
Where is my mom anyways?
I couldn't tell you...........

 

by Motts
9-20-02
Hey, yeah, about that strip creator
Dude, your comics are awesome.
No, mine suck. But yours are great.
NO. MINE sux0rz.
Sure, whatever.
I get 30 bones! :P
Hey, I got a job!
$$

 

by Motts
9-20-02
The controversial issue.
Must we really make fun of other peoples comics in our own, from our lack of idealism? Why can't we accept other peoples opinions, and listen to what they have to say?
Yeah, what is up with that? homie!
Why is he in my strip anyways?
Did I ask for your input, ThunderRod?!
Well, you were just arguing the point that people don't accept other peoples opinions openly.
Everyone is a hypocrite!
Shut up. It only applies to everyone else, StickO'Lightning.
.....Ok..

 

by Motts
9-21-02
Off in a secluded region where only the strongest of wills can find...
WOW! IT'S JESUS!
Awe shit..How did you get here anyways!?
Did you just swear??
Yes, is there a problem with that? Now shut up, I know what it is that you seek to know.
End. the ending killed it didn't it?
Yeah, I want to know how to get rid of Greg and get Kerri to like me.
I just said I knew what you were seeking, dumbshit. Now, sorry, but that isn't going to happen...for obvious reasons....

 

by Motts
9-22-02
Hey guys that read my comics. I was just laying in bed, its about 2:40. And I had this great idea..
You could respond to me, via e-mail. And tell me what you think of my comic, and when I run out of ideas for a comic, I could just respond to your opinion.
I thank you in advance for any input you give me. : )
So yeah.. E-mail me at 'StarMotts @hotmail.com'

 

by Motts
9-22-02
Yeah, I'm stupid. But who isn't? As you might know, on my last comic I gave out my email so that people to could resond to me.
But I am half the creative mind behind MorningWood. So forgive me, and shut up..
My very stupid mistake was, that a few hours later, I switched email addresses.
Oh yeah, my new email address is above this.
Well, that concludes today's 'Talk with Greg'. Maybe next time will be somewhat enjoyable...

 

by Motts
9-22-02
Another day at work..
Fuck! Go home! We don't want you here!
Yeah, that's a water test..
They do this all the time.....
Hmmmmm, I have to drink something, or pretend I am busy...
Alright, rock paper scissors..let's go...
And I am left, the most anti-social one, to deal with customers.
What the fuck, you bastard. At least be fair about it!

 

by Motts
9-25-02
Today was great, got to see her twice
Micheal called today, and was yell-....we got in an argument...
WHAT. next time you see him, tell him I am going to stab some syringes in his face....I'm serious..
I don't think it is spelt like that.....oh well it looks funny :P
Sure. If you see Alley or someother chick that I forgot her name, tell them "I don't know you, leave me the fuck alone you stupid whore."
......You psycho, what is your problem? You are scarring me.......
Huh?
Yeah, but you said you were going to stab someone with needles......
Hmmmmm...I need to reorder my list, with Micheal and his cousin at the top, damn that will take a lot of time to rewrite it all.......vanilla sprite.....I'm a genius..

 

by Motts
9-25-02
"No one loves me!"
Well, I haven't gotten any reply from you inconsiderate fucks...
Fine.....
I didn't want your opinion anyways!!
The truth hurts...
Your comics blow ass!
Fuck off..

 

by Motts
9-26-02
Poo. I'm mad at stuff.
You so much as think about Kerri, I will find out....and your number is....hmmmm......42. Oooo...that's not a good number.....
Oh my god! I'm sorry! I wont! I promise!
Ugh.. Is that urine I smell?
...........
I swear it
Just like that?
Yeah..

 

by Motts
9-26-02
Yeah, so its a phone. I'm tired.
Asshole detector V1.06
Finally, I got it to work.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Holy shit.
Yes. I am.
PLEASE STEP AWAY. YOU HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED AS AN ASSHOLE.
Fuck you. Computers can't register logic!

 

by Motts
9-26-02
Another one of my dumb discussions with myself......(oh yeah, forgot the S at the end of the title)
I'm not worth her time. I should just kill myself so that she will realize that I'm not that cool......
I'm a big dumb idiot! :D
What the fuck is my problem! I have the perfect life. Fuck! I'm stupid.....anyways, about killing myself.....
What is wrong with me?
It's just that I don't express my love to her enough. Like she wrote me that thing about how much she loved me, and what did I do?......NOTHING! FUCK!

 

by Motts
9-27-02
Maybe V1.08 will be a different external model...
Asshole Detector V1.07
Now that I have fixed a few 'minor' bugs. I wonder if-
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Nope.....Still broken..
Back to the drawing board......
I'M NOT BROKEN. I AM TELLING YOU THAT YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE.
Yep, it's broken.....

 

by Motts
9-27-02
Weeeeee! its a little robot!
Asshole Detector V1.08
Maybe it was just a bad friction plate on the old hardcase..
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Hmmmm....where did I go wrong this time?.....
Is it getting old yet?
YOU DID NOT GO WRONG IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF MY PROGRAM. YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE.
Maybe the visual sensors are distorted.....

 

by Motts
9-29-02
I hate drunk people.
You wanna make out?
No.
Am I too blunt?........No.
Are you gay?
No. I have a girlfriend, and I am loyal..
It's funny, but it is different than what you think.
....So anyways, Steven.
Gimme your fist!

 

by Motts
9-29-02
Periodically I must deter my murderous tendencies by yelling at people. And Steven was with me.
I feel like being an asshole..........Chicken sandwich.........Purple paint?.....
Hey! No bikes!!
I still don't think that asshole detector works properly.....but that has nothing to do with anything..
I'm cool, because I go to the dollar store!
What?! Your lack of intellect is represented in your resort to involving my mom into your insults?!
Literally, they ran from me, and I was just standing there.
Hey fuckers! Come back here!
Wow....They are running......Am I that scary?

 

by Motts
9-29-02
Discovery Health Channel gives very useful information!
Did you know that breast feeding your baby makes you love it more?
Really? So people that don't breast feed their baby don't love them that much?
I think I'll ask my mom....
Yeah, I guess it would work that way too......I wonder if my mom breast fed me.....
Obviously my mom didn't...
Hey, lets go get some Starbucks...It's your round.
Ok......

 

by Motts
9-29-02
I like the idea of someone liking their own work so much, even though no one else does.
Heh heh. That one's funny.
HAHAHA! That one is awesome!
wow, I like my comics a lot.
MWAHAHAHAHA! HOLY SHIT! I THINK I PISSED MYSELF!
AAAAAAAAHA HAHAHAHAHA! AH! I CAN'T STAND UP!
Actually I don't.
Are you ok? What were you doing?
Well, besides from my incaved knee, and my own urine on the floor...I'm fine. I was just reading my comics.

 

by Motts
9-30-02
Mmmmm Sardella's pizza and wings, Sardella's is my favorite thing. Sardella's!
These chicken wings smell like fart!
I think I'll pass this time on chicken wings.
No. But it's like a good fart!
I don't think there is such a thing as 'a good fart'.....That's like 'the good strain of ebola'.
Good times.....
Ahahahaha!
Hahahahaha!

 

by Motts
9-30-02
Hmmmm, this movie looks decent.......
So what do you think of this movie?
God, it sucks. It's just a bunch of skanky girls and their lives.....not fun.
Maybe not..
I kinda want to watch it just to find out what is going to happen.
.........
...........
....................Fuck! End you peice of shit movie!!

 

by Motts
10-01-02
I am pathetic......
I hate this...Her parents won't let her date....So we can't do athything.. ANYTHING. Oh wait, we can watch TV.
Well, that is good enough..Just to be around her is enough to make me happy.
You understand..right?
I'm just afraid it's not enough to keep the relationship lasting...
Just kill yourself already!

 

by Motts
10-01-02
Retribution is at hand.
Hey, I know you from somewhere...you were Teresa's friend or-
Listen....I have a proposition for you..You have two choices that will determine your life from here on..
Oh boy, I'm pissed!
?
You, A: Don't touch my girlfriend again. Or B: Touch my girlfriend again and I slice your sternum open with a rusty screw driver, and rip your heart out WITH MY BARE FUCKING HANDS YOU SON OF A BITCH!!
Hmmmmm...I don't know what would happen after that.....let's ponder.....
........
Did you just soil yourself?

 

by Motts
10-02-02
After leaving Kerri's house.......
I don't feel as shitty now....
Damn, bad thoughts entering my head. I feel shitty now..
Keep in mind, that all of these take place some time away from each other.
Hey, that could be a song.
Hey fucker, you wanna die? That's right, keep walking essay!
No....More bad thoughts, maybe killing myself will end them....
Congratulations, you're gay. You and your HUGEMONGOUS truck, you fucking dipshit, with a small penis!

 

by Motts
10-02-02
Hey, my dad didn't page me yet.....He probably doesn't care anyways..
Mere seconds...
Hey, I can actually feel the cartilage in my knees being gnawed away by my joints!
Hehe, that one looks like an ant.
Irony? ok, didn't think so..
Hey, I should make a comic about what I thought about on this way home.........
Hey, It's not that cold....Or maybe I have lost feeling on my skin.......

 

by Motts
10-02-02
Hmmmm..I was going to do a comic on something else.....but I don't remember.
FUUUUUCK!! I HATE MY LIFE! Don't stare, it't not nice..
Oooooooooh Donna, Oooooooooh Donna
I don't hate my life, I'm not even unsatisfied, I just don't feel I deserve such a good life.....
Damn, that was fast, no?
Holy shit, it't my house..Have I walked that far already? It's been like 30 seconds......

 

by Motts
10-03-02
My comics suck. Don't they?
Why would she do something like that? Why wouldn't she call ME? Was it because of me? Am I self-centered?
I don't know, girls are fickle like that..
I hate myself.
I guess.....It just made me feel like shit, and like I had no place in her life....
At least you have a good girlfriend.
To make it somewhat funny, I have to throw in the Starbucks run.
Yes, and I am very grateful for that.....
Wanna get some Starbucks?

 

by Motts
10-03-02
"Life can be a lot of things. But it doesn't have to be complicated. Introducing Chevy's new Columbus day sale!"
Haha!
"Buy one now! You'll be cool!"
They make it sound like buying a car will make your life simple and enjoyable.
"Now back to 'Bad Ass Ninjas With Guns And Shit'!"
Hmmmmm.....I kinda want a Vette............

 

by Motts
10-03-02
The computer that satan built.
Hm hm hm. www. stripcreator.com
*boop*
Stupid pop ups.....
*boop* *boop* *boop*
Goddamnit! You close one, and more spawn from it!
*boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop* *boop*

 

by Motts
10-05-02
So we were sitting there, and I was explaining Willow....
Yeah, and that guy is helping Willow. And those little people....I don't know..
Oooooooooohhhhh
And then this guy looks over and starts screaming shit, like he just saw the president being crucified....or something......
JESUS COMETH AND DESECRATE MY FOUL SPIRIT!!
What the FUCK are you doing Kerri!? What were you doing!? WHAT were you doing?
After that..My hate for people grew 10 times that of a normal humans! And I got this monstrous strength and I picked up the sled and.....
...........
........

 

by Motts
10-05-02
Mmmmmmmm......Fooooood....
I made all this food, and you aren't going to eat any of it!?
Well.....Okay I'll eat some..
Looks can be deceiving my young grasshopper.
I'll give you the scrawny pansy-assed little girl cut..
Umm. Okay..
But Kerri is the only one that matters anyways
BYE EVERYONE! .....
................

 

by Motts
10-06-02
Now this is what you do....Go in the kitchen, grab that new knife your dad just bought. AND STAB YOURSELF IN THE FUCKING EYE YOU PUSSY!!
But why would I do that?
Don't second guess me you pile of shit!!
Oh....well, should I use the serrated one then?
DING!
Yessss, now you're getting the hang of it..
Hey, my corndogs are done!

 

by Motts
10-06-02
I don't remember the last strip I made, but I am pretty sure this a continuation of it somehow..
C'mon, hurry up!
Why don't you just kill me yourself?..
I'm pretty sure that squirrels have thumbs..I am too lazy to check it out.
Hmmmm....I lack opposable thumbs.........
No you don't! You son of a bitch! Tell me why you won't kill me!
What religion forbids you to kill, but encourages the suicide of others? Probly Mormon..
........It's against my religion....
Oh, well, okay then..

 

by Motts
10-07-02
I had nothing to fill this frame with.
Weren't you just sitting over here?
..No.
or this one....
Anyways...Yeah, I got some more problems, it's this whole-.....Hey wait, why do I come to you for advice?!
hmmm....good question..
And so we contemplated the existence of my squirrel friend. (this one too)
You're not even suicidal! you provoke ME to be suicidal..
That's a good point..... Hmmmm........

 

by Motts
10-07-02
Hmmmm...You gonna do anything for Halloween this year?
Well, I dunno..I'm growning up, I will be graduating next year......I was thinking of a pirate!
Just for you Alicia.
TRICK OR TREAT ASSHOLE!
Har har!
Crisis averted.
Maybe not..
Nah, I think I'll pass this year..

 

by Motts
10-07-02
Hello, my son.
Hey Jesus..
Problems again?
Yeah, I don't know if-
Everyone should listen to Jesus, he is my friend.
Abstinence, Greg....
Good call..

 

by Motts
10-07-02
So very true.
Did you know that StaticStick goes to PHS?
WHAT!? Damnit, how come I find out all this bad shit after I leave!?
Yeah, crazy huh? I guess he knows Kerri too.....uh oh..
Wait.....that means that those comics are relative to me and her! That son of a bitch!
It's a small world after all.....
And the population is dwindling.....

 

by Motts
10-08-02
If you want to know who we are talking about check out 'StormHammer's comics.
Hey, what's going on?
I found out who Accelerated Electron Tree Limb is......
And now that I leave the school, I find out.....
YOU DID!? How? Who?......Where!
He is that stupid fucking 2nd year senior!
That means that all those fucking comics ARE relative to me! People are going to die.
THAT KYLE!?!
Uh oh. What have I done?

 

by Motts
10-08-02
The Light Side is coming out in me.
Well, I guess I shouldn't care that much about Kyle...
Yeah, I agree with you......But why?
I could write something really fucking stupid in this and you would still read all of it.
Well..One, I have enough faith in Kerri that she wouldn't leave me for a 2nd year, acid head, WORTHLESS PILE OF FLESH THAT HE IS!
What's two?
Okay, so only one good reason why.
Ummmm.....He's a worthless pile of unused flesh that isnt worth my time?
That's not good enough.

 

by Motts
10-08-02
The guy looked like Jesus lying on the side of the road.
That guy looks dead.....
No. It's a scam.
He looks pretty dead to me..
A few minutes later....
Yeah, that guy WAS dead.
Did he scam you?

 

by Motts
10-12-02
Wow! It's Kyle!
Hey, dude..Kerri is hot..I want to have sex with her. even though she is 5 years younger than me, and i am a super senior, and she is dating a very protective and righteous man...
See what I mean? Their stupidity dumbfounds me!
Hey, It's Kerri's ex-boyfriend, Mike or something!
Hey. Cool and groovy. I want to hook up with Kerri again, even though I yell at her and piss off her boyfriend to the point of hunting me down and slicing open my rib cage to eat my lungs out..
Now do you see why I get this vain rage?
Look! It's some other guy........
Hey dude, you got a hot girlfriend!
You don't hink I already know that!? Just stop and think for me...Why would you say something like that? Do you WANT to be slowly sliced into small peices and placed inside my walls?

 

by Motts
10-12-02
....Teresa..
Hey, I like to joke around about being bisexual, especially with Kerri!
You are just as bad as a guy hitting on Kerri..
.And Mindy....
I do everything that Teresa and her friends do!
I apologize for being an asshole to my girlfriend's friends in this strip, and I don't really mean anything by it, I just needed to get out some anger.
TaDa! It's Marie!
I AM bisexual! I also like to joke around about being bisexual with Kerri infront of my distraught exboyfriend!
FUCK! This is exactly like you are a guy! And I kill guys for doing the same thing! Prepare to lose your soul!

 

by Motts
10-12-02
I hate myself...
Damnit, I am an idiotic ashole!
Yeah you are! You are what you hate the most! Kill yourself!
...Alot.
That's not such a bad idea, now that I think about it..
Mwahaha.....Yes, that's it....
But do I really want to leave what I have now? I have a great girlfriend, a good job, and no worries....Yet I still beat myself up over stupid shit..
Damnit, why do you have to get all emotional and shit!? Quit with the intellectualism and slice your wrists!

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