people Murica is following

atomiclunch, Beeko180, brycekain, deathtoradio, DrMorton, edoggydog, evil_d, Icky, jaquan_mccarrion, lucaspento, marcusss, RedfeatheR, thisroadwedrive

latest comics from people Murica is following

by brycekain
It was a horrible experience. I was blindfolded and everything. But you've got to give it to me straight. Do I have anything?
Well, I'm not sure how, but you have PNEUMO-ULTRA-MICROSCOPIC-SILICO-VOLCANO-CONIOSIS. You get it from dust in volcanoes, but if not there then from other kinds of stones.
And judging from this huge sample you've been swallowing it by the load.
That's the last time I try to taste what The Rock was cooking.

by Beeko180
Human beings creating a thing that can't be used to hurt people is like...
...a child...
...picking up a rock...
...or a chair...
...or by some horrifically magical manner a bus and then insisting that it can't be pelted through the skull of that girl across the room from them that they ****ing hate...
...harder than Adolf Hitler loved eugenics.

by edoggydog
*RCL no. 6192
When it comes to cancer, I say FUCK cancer!
Except kids' cancer... I only whack off to that.
I mean, I don't want to be accused of being a pedophile or something...
Or something.

by brycekain
Look, YOU hired me to kill a hooker, duct tap her vajay-jay, and throw her in the landfill! I'm a METHOD ACTOR and I have to get into my roles!
Dude, when we hired you to do this movie I said that you would be in some scenes killing time by throwing away my old VHS tapes of T.J. Hooker. You really ARE ****ty at this job!
So I lured that guy Ron over to your house and killed the ******* when he said he was ****ing your wife. Hey, wait, you said you'd have a camera crew outside the house! Where the hell is everyone??
And CUT! Thank you, Mr. Blake. I gotta go take a drive now.

by atomiclunch
"Great! Is it spatch****ed, like I wanted?"
Gladys! The chicken you ordered is here!
Oh! Almost forgot! UUUNNNGGH! NNUUUNNNGHH! *spatch!*
"Yum! Go fire up the grill!"

by atomiclunch
"C'mon Bessie! Let's have a couple of quarts, okay?"
Look, I'm not sure I need a superhero for this job. Let alone a filipino. We're in Nebraska fer cornssakes.
Trust me sir, Mindanao Mike is the hero you NEED for this! You won't be disappointed!
So, uh, what did you say the secret to his powers was?
You know how popeye had his spinach? Shit! MIKE! GET OVER HERE! YOU FORGOT YOUR...
Balut, please.
You should know that's not Bessie, that's Butch. Normally he likes being "milked". You have cold hands or somethin' there son?

by atomiclunch
Hey Don, did you check into that thing I asked you about?
Yeah Jonald, I got you hooked up with that Maria chick from the weather channel for one night. Just pretend you're me. What could go wrong?, Bacon and I greased up the rubber chicken and... Something wrong, 'Lunch?
I feel a great disturbance in the force! Like someone is Defiling my dewpoint doyenne, Maria! I have to DO something!
Why the hell did you even OWN a nuke?
Better question is "Why the hell did you NOT?"

I always get the best hookers.
by brycekain, 4-19-18

by brycekain
Did you see that there's a new contest in the More Comic Contest section?
Yes. WW 118 is open for business.
So where's the joke in this comic?
In your pants.

by brycekain
Thank you for coming to the FBI evidence room. I have a few questions for you.
I am the most transparent person you will ever meet.
Mr. President we have found evidence that you have a twin brother. A surveillance tape was made of the two of you and it puts him in kind of an awkward position.
Now you're just spreading fake news. I'll tell all my constituents about you and you'll never work in this town again.
Well I'd tell you to go **** yourself, but I've already seen the tape.

Older comics »

« Back to the Front Page