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latest comics from people NeoVid is following

by evil_d
Vote for me for Candy Shop Customer!
Ho ho! You're adorable.
But you don't need to be elected to be a candy shop customer. As long as you have money, you can go right in and buy what you want.
I found out today that you're a ****ing liar.

by HCRoyall
The historical Patrick that would eventually be canonized was a Christian in the middle-to-late 5th century.
At the age of 16 he was captured by pirates and served 6 years as a slave in Ireland.
After escaping, he returned to his family, and according to the church he returned as a missionary and converted the people of Ireland.
What the church doesn't mention is that he did so by invading Ireland at the head of an army and killing anyone who refused to convert.
So here's to St. Patrick: Patron Saint of Stockholm Syndrome and Religious Extremists.

by kaufman
Yes, Captain, this is definitely the end of the rainbow, but I am not detecting any life, nor am I detecting any pots of gold.

by kaufman, 3-17-15

by evil_d
Now, once you're on Mars you'll need to establish an interim government until you can elect your own governor, congresspeople, and so forth. Under the Constitution—
Yeah, you may want to call Betsy Ross back and tell her not to sew that 51st star just yet.
What do you mean? This is a NASA mission, and obviously you're going to need—
Surely the US knows better than anyone the folly of trying to govern a colony in a remote location. I figure we'll skip the revolution and just govern ourselves from the start.
Well if that's the way you feel then you're off the mission. The position of captain will fall to your second-in-command. Mister... Han****?
John Han**** the Tenth, sir. Where do I sign?

by HCRoyall
Six years of waiting, two years of grueling training, and six months of travel...
All just to get to Mars on the first manned mission and find two Starbucks and a McDonald's already here.
Ugh! Fuckin' illegals already comin' in to take our jobs. Go back to Earth!
The irony is painfully delicious.

by evil_d
Here I am, the first human to walk on Mars. That's one small step for... H.G. Wells?! What are you doing here?
The Martians were so impressed by my flattering portrayal of their civilization, they invited me to live here as an honored guest!
Okay... but... you've got to be almost 200 years old by now! How are you still alive?
The wonders of Martian medicine, my boy!
Does that mean anal probes?
So many anal probes.

by kaufman
Holy ****. Earthupials!

by kaufman
Heard from Wirthling lately?
Yeah, he's gotten a job in the Middle East making ISIS videos.
He'll be a natural.

by HCRoyall
All right, we'll try this again. I call to order this meeting of Pantsless Alcoholics Anonymous.
But we're both pantsless and drinking.
Next week then?
Sure thing!

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