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latest comics from people NeoVid is following

by evil_d
Andrew, I've sent you a batch of employee performance reviews. I want you to go through and weed out the lazy ones.
Haha, nobody says "weed out" Mr. Davis, you mean you want me to smoke them up.
I'm not asking you to give them marijuana, you nitwit. I'm asking you to sort them out so we can get rid of them!
So wait... we're firing the lazy people?
Man... working for a company that makes pot holders has been so different from what I expected.

by Namgubed
Meanwhile, at The Filthy Rag publishers ...
What do you think of my latest "blow and tell" manuscript, "Blue Dress, Blue Dress, Blue Dress"?
Honestly, Ms. Lewinsky, I found the material tired, boring, and your crayon scrawl nearly illegible.
So ...
If Hillary were indicted, the Clintons MIGHT be temporarily marketable again. Maybe you should try W.H. Smith's. Good day, Madam.
Seriously, whose **** do I ha-...
GOOD DAY, Madam!

by Namgubed
July 2016
Hillary's conduct was nothing short of criminally negligent!
... But we shouldn't press charges.
October 2016 ________ May 2017
Huma Abedin forwarded Hillary's emails to Anthony Wiener - ugh - sorry, threw up in my mouth a little bit.
... and I can't reveal all the evidence we don't have for Trump's collusion with Russia!
Read my letter.
Dear Jim Comey, YOU'RE FIRED. Good luck, by the way.

by evil_d
Hello, can I help you?
yeah i gotta appointment for the 22th
Um... today's only the 19th.
yeah thats right i gotta appointment for the 19th for 22th
I'm not understanding. Are you saying you have a 19th appointment and a 22nd appointment?
i think yer dentist is gonna need longer'n twenty second to look at my twenty tooth

by kaufman
Hi, Liz.
Hey, Bobby Sue, how was your date last night?
Awful, boring. He was no excitement whatsoever. I need something more! Where are all the bad boys?
Let me guess. You'd be turned on by being driven home by some drunk tattooed guy in a beat-up pickup who's missing a few teeth.
Oh, god, yes! That would be so romantic. But where would I find a guy like that?
I have good news. There's a new app available for download. It's called gUber.

by kaufman
2:00 PM: Takeoff ifrom Kathmandu
1:45 PM: Flying over Afghanistan
1:15 PM: Ready to land in Baghdad
Don't you love these Concordes?
Yeah, but not half as much as I dig weird time zones.

by evil_d
7 am
I need seventy 2x4s and some wood screws. I'm building a deck!
8 am
Okay, turns out I need a bunch more stuff. Some landscape stakes, wood glue, primer, sealer, a saw, and a lot more lumber in different sizes.
9 am
What do you need now?
The phone number of a good contractor.

by Namgubed
4:53 PM
The Asia Rock Reunion concert is tonight! I wanna leave by 5:30 to get good seats!
OK, I'll be ready.
almost ready, hon!
Come ON! I've wanted to see these guys for YEARS!!
6:53 PM
♪ It was the heeeeeeaaat of the moment ♫ ....
♫ ... terring me what you halt ferrt ... ♫

by evil_d

by evil_d
I asked you to make something that I could award to the winner of our pinewood derby.
But what I unwrapped, in front of the whole troop and their parents, was a small statue of what appeared to be a feline's hindquarters.
Is that a problem?
Problem?? It's a catasstrophy!

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