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latest comics from people NeoVid is following

by evil_d
I'm gonna kill you so hard the folks back in Philadelphia will scream!
I'm gonna kill you so hard there won't be anything left for the vultures!
I'm gonna kill you so hard your grandma will feel it!
I'm gonna kill you so hard your great-great-grandchildren will still be bitter about it!
It's about heritage, not hate!

by evil_d
Morning, Bill. Heard you had a pretty wild weekend!
Got drunk, went to TJ, got a list of my favorite coworkers' names tattooed on my arm.
I don't see anything on your arm.
Damn right you don't. Peace out, sucka!

by evil_d
Man, I haven't had sex in twenty-three years.
Uh... how old are you?
So you're a virgin. Just say you're a virgin.
I'm trying to open up to you about my childhood sexual abuse, dude.

by kaufman
Americans are voting for stupid people. So my plan is to reanimate corpses with the brains of geniuses and have them vote. Now, Igor, bring me the brain of Albert Einstein!
Yes, Master!
The Einstein brain was not available. But I was able to get the brain of bridge legend Easley Blackwood.
A brilliant innovator and a great player. Yes, that should do nicely. Now, let us animate the body!
My beautiful creation! You're alive! Now go off to the polls and vote. But first tell me, how are you going to cast your ballot?
FOR ..... NO ..... TRUMP!!!!

by evil_d
Five of these are genuine Donald Trump quotes, but one is a fabrication. Guess which one!
I fired them. Of course I had to fire them. They were getting pregnant on my dime!
Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.
Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.
I love beautiful women, and beautiful women love me. It has to be both ways.
The point is that you can't be too greedy.
Somebody's doing the ******, Don, I mean, you know– I mean, somebody's doing it. You think it's women being ****d, well who's doing the ******? Who's doing the ******?

by HCRoyall
Bro-Dude! The city needs your help!
Bro-Dude! Thank goodness you're he-
I'll always stop you, Brown-Man!
The city council has voted to rename Bro-Dude to Racist-Asshole-Man after he joined a mob of skinheads in beating a Pakistani cab driver to death instead of saving him.
Dude! Harsh! I'm totally complaining about this on my Men's Rights Forum.

by HCRoyall
Zoinks! Who could have believed it!
Under that toupee, Donald Trump was really Old Man Cheney!
And I would have gotten into a war with Iran, too, if not for you meddling liberals!

by HCRoyall
Honey?! I heard a noise downstairs!
It's just the cat again. Go to sleep
But you've heard the news! What if it's the Pint-Size Buggerer?!
Ugh. Fine. I'll go check.

by kaufman
You may go home, Tattoo. Unfortunately we will have no guests this weekend.
It seems that on their way over here, Mrs. Oglethorpe was bitten by a black mamba, and the Hardings were eaten by pythons.
Snakes on mother****ing de plane, Boss! Snakes on mother****ing de plane!

by kaufman
Ok, turn around once more, then go for it!
Nice job! Check out how you did.
Our neighborhood was so tough, at birthday parties, we'd play Pin the Jail on the Donkey!

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