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latest comics from people NeoVid is following

by kaufman
Boys, I've got this new kid named Lou doing backing vocals for me tonight. You can have the night off. But don't worry, you'll be backing me up again at my next show ...

by kaufman
Now on to sports. Major League Baseball announced today that throughout baseball, August 7th will be Zika Virus Awareness Day.
All fans attending games that day will be treated with mosquito repellant upon entering the stadium.
And of course all of the mascots will have REALLY tiny heads.

by kaufman
Why are you talking backwards, Garfield?
Go hang a salami.

by kaufman
It is a true honor for me to accept this award. I remember all the hard work to develop a vaccine to fight the zika virus, and the joy in seeing its first success ...
Congratulations, Mrs. Acosta, it's a boy. And the vaccine worked. He has no signs of microcephaly whatsoever. In fact, quite the opposite.
Of course after that first attempt, we did manage to adjust the dosage.

by HCRoyall
So anyway, I was about 17. My right side was numb and I was having trouble talking...
Kind of like now?
...and that's my professional opinion, but maybe you should see someone other than a coroner...
...and after a long, soul-searching journey I realized the cure for butt cancer was inside me all along!
The cure for butt cancer is a blocked artery in your cranium?

by Namgubed
Remember that time when We created the universe?
Yes, in fact, I remember it like it was yesterday ...
Give or take a few hours.

by HCRoyall
Now insert me gently into your anus...
Ummm... the **** just happened there? You said "This reminds me of this time when I met a talking crab" and spaced out for 30 seconds.
That reminds me of that time I thought I was having a stroke...
What time? Right now?

We have shown that given the laws of probability, and the time constraint of the age of the universe, that evolution is mathematically impossible!
What, don't you believe in miracles?
by Namgubed, 5-22-16

by Namgubed
You wouldn't believe what just happened to me!
Try me !!
We find the defendant GUILTY AS CHARGED!
Off to the hoosegow you go, scum!
Wait! What?!?
You wouldn't believe what just happened to me!
You won't believe what's about to happen to you!

by Namgubed
Meanwhile, at a local sandwich shop....
What's wrong, little boy?
My sub needs more "secret sauce," mister!
Well, traditionally, one of a submarine's main ingredients is seamen.
Great! Slather it on!
Sure enough ...
Five dollar footlong!

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