people Ranger77 is following

ivytheplant


latest comics from people Ranger77 is following

by ivytheplant
6-29-12
So how are you getting along in Tennessee?
Excellent. Too damn hot, but things are fantastic.
Do you still feel the urge to get a pickup covered in "Nobama" stickers?
No way! If anything, I'm one step from being a full-blown socialist.
Has anyone ever told you that you might be utterly mental?
How do you think I got all these awesome pills?

by ivytheplant
6-29-12
So how was living in Connecticut?
God, it sucked so bad.
It couldn't have been that bad.
I'm starting to sympathize with Republicans.
That's...uh...
If we didn't leave when we did, I would have traded in my Civic for a pickup covered in "Nobama" stickers.

by ivytheplant
4-12-12
I thought I told you not to be here when people visit. It makes them uncomfortable.
And it doesn't make us uncomfortable to have unsupervised strangers around?
From now on, you can't be here during a showing.
Actually, according to the state police, I have to be on the premises for each showing.
I'm just going to let that hang there for maximum effect.

by ivytheplant
4-12-12
As you can see, the trim is all original...
Oh, I just adore original wood!
Is that what you call your husband?
Now onto the second floor.
This must have originally been an unfinished attic.
Yes, because bedrooms didn't exist in the 40s.
You know, it would be so much nicer to look at if there weren't all these moving boxes here.
You know what would be nicer? If people weren't traipsing through our home.

by ivytheplant
4-12-12
So this is how it works: We bring house hunters over whenever we feel like it...
That must be realtor speak for 8am.
...you have to leave the house so potential buyers won't be uncomfortable pawing through your valuables...
Yes, we wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable.
...and you clean up the place so it looks like you live in a catalog.
Question: Do people who live in catalogs have human skeletons in the dining room?

by ivytheplant
4-12-12
Hi, this is a realtor. Your landlord is putting the house on the market.
Oh, that's unfortunate. When are they doing this?
Tomorrow.
I...see.
This is just a courtesy call to let you know why strangers will be ogling your ****.
How courteous of our landlords to pass the buck to a stranger.

by ivytheplant
3-10-12
You know how everyone dismissed my concerns over relocating?
Yeah?
Well, **** Connecticut, **** New England, and **** the East Coast.
I take it things didn't work out so well.
Anal warts would have been a far more rewarding experience than this godforsaken dump.
And cheaper to cure.

by ivytheplant
1-17-12
Hey, did you know you can buy commemorative placenta necklaces online?
What in god's name for?
Apparently it's a "keepsake reminder of the birth."
Isn't that what the baby is for?
Your mom's birthday is coming up.
I already bought her colon polyp earrings.

by ivytheplant
10-02-11
Every bill payment for the last three days...
"Online billing system is currently down. Please use our phone billing system."
Gah.
"Our phone billing system is currently down. Please use our online billing system."
Nrg!
That's a lot of pepper and canned cheese.
In the coming apocalypse, this will be more valuable than credit card payments.

by ivytheplant
8-28-11
I wish I wasn't allergic to beet syrup so I could eat my favorite cream cheese. God! Life is so hard!
Oh hey, I just picked up some and according to the label, it doesn't have beet syrup, so you're okay.
Yup, all that beet syrup in the cream cheese will surely kill me. It's soooo hard to find anything to eat that doesn't have beet syrup!
Did you hear me? I said there's no beet syrup. You can eat it.
I'm lactose intolerant.
You're thinking of "intolerable."

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