All comics by Skwid

 

by Skwid
7-18-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
So, my 4-year old kid tells us he doesn't particularly like peas...
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
and my wife is totall shocked by this, and now thinks he's 'gifted'...
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
I don't know what she's on about...I don't much care for peas, either, and I'm no genius.

 

by Skwid
7-18-07
Dear Skwiddles...
When are you going to finish L3? Sincerely, your son.
Can't you bug me on msn, like everyone else?
Blue Screen has encountered an error and needs to close.

 

by Skwid
7-18-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Dear Skwiddles...if you could bring just one thing to a deserted island, what would it be?
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Hmmm...
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
A set of bowling pins!
yar! Git off me alley, scurvey!

 

by Skwid
7-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Wanna play Bible Study?
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Lessee...you can be, ummm...oh, what the heck, you can play Baby Jesus.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
This will require you to hold still...

 

by Skwid
7-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
It says you'll be staying a week??
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
That's impossible...I'm out of town all week, you simply can't be here.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
*sigh*...In-Laws...

 

by Skwid
7-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Whaddaya doin' Ray?
Checking The Storm's Guestbook.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Hey, Marco left a message...
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
I don't even wanna know...
Oh, that's just so wrong on so many levels...

 

by Skwid
7-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
We're here talking to...what was your name again?
Todd Ruddell...captain of The Storm.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Right...what happened here?
A hockey game between The Storm and the ^%$#% Goodfellas.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Er...and at what point was the game stopped due to violence?
Are you kidding? We still have 15 minutes left to play.

 

by Skwid
7-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
I bet someone you die in the last book...am I right?
Sorry, I can't give spoilers away. Buy the new book and find out!
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Oke.
Wh-what's the axe for?
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Beer don't buy itself, Harry...

 

by Skwid
7-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Whoa...what happened to YOU?
I went to a ball hockey game at lunch.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Yikes...get into it with one of the players?
No...
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
One of the player's wives...

 

by Skwid
7-20-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
...and in sports, fans of the Nashville Predators hockey club have been fighting to keep the team in Nashville.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Tickets are being sold at a faster rate than last year, and fund raisers are helping to pump money into the NHL club.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
All over the city, chants of "What the hell else are we going to do on a Saturday night?" can be heard.

 

by Skwid
7-20-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
The under-20 international soccer tournament is underway...with Canada taking its usual spot in the standings.
If the first two games are any indication, these guys couldn't score on Paris Hilton.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Newly signed Leaf free-agent, Jason Blake, is reported to have no past connection to Toronto whatsoever.
Based on Toronto's track record with talented players, he's not likely to have a future one, either.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Finally, in NASCAR Jeff Gordon is back on top again. After 19 races, he sites 302 points up in first place.
Not that we, as Canadians, actually give a damn about NASCAR.

 

by Skwid
7-20-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Well...
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
THIS Easter sucked...

 

by Skwid
7-30-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
So...you check out the Storm game the other night?
Oh, yeah. Never miss a game.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
How'd they do?
Great, actually. They played with so much poise and character. Really showed they could be a solid team and a true contender.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
........so they lost?
They got smoked.

 

by Skwid
8-13-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Name?
Oh, man...this isn't guna get back to my parents, is it?
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
No promises...NAME?
*sigh*...Ray. Hey, listen...you're not going to tell my ball hockey team, are you?
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
What...?
Cuz, well...I was supposed to play tonight...

 

by Skwid
9-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Be a nice day if it doesn't rain...

 

by Skwid
9-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Dear Skwiddles...
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
When are you shutting down The Lair?
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Hey, listen...an unused door needs no lock...

 

by Skwid
9-19-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Hey, that was offside!
You call that a trip???
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Oh, man...HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THAT????
Where's the call on that, ref?!?!
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
What are you doing?
Just warming up for the game tonight...

 

by Skwid
9-24-07
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
And now with local sports...here's Sandy...
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Another day in the T-dot, and the word is out.......Toronto still sucks. Back to you, Tim.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
er...which Toronto team are we referring to, Sandy?
Does it really f!@#$ matter?

 

by Skwid
11-27-08
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
And in sports, Mats Sundin says he's very close to making a decision as to whether he's going to play again in the NHL.
Or anywhere...or not. Or for Toronto...or Montreal...or Vancouver...or...who the hell cares? Wake me when he's over.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Also out of Toronto, it seems Brian Burke is very close to signing on the dotted line to become the GM of the Leafs.
Rumour has it he's just waiting on the approval for conjugal visitation rights with all the players' wives...or something.
Comedy@SkwidsLair.Net
Finally, it appears Jason Blake will be missing time due to a concussion he suffered during the game against Atlanta.
Consider it payback for the headaches he's given Leaf Nation since we picked him up.

 

by Skwid
4-02-09
Hitmen Roster
Jason Santos
James Nelken
Hitmen Roster
Randy Santia
Dave Russel
Hitmen Roster
Todd Ruddell
Trevor Thelwell

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