Well, the dog took a crap under the tree, my wife's fruitcake caught fire, and I got socks for presents. again. How could this Christmas be any worse?!
HEYYY PETEY! I GOTS NADS ON MY FACE!!
It got worse.
NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! NADS! C'MON, SAY IT WITH ME!
I got ****d by a goat, beaten by an old lady, ****ed on by a 3rd grade class on a field trip, and thrown in jail. How can today possibly get any worse?!