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bigworm, four_legged_tripod

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by bigworm
They're gone??? My heart is so sad for you!
Did you look under your pillow?

by bigworm
There's no reason to be afraid of the butcher.
I promise he won't disembowel you...
...until after you're dead.

by bigworm
But I ate them con mucho gusto!!!
Did that assuage your anger?

by bigworm
Now we go to Great Hall and you show everybody your hiney. But first I go into bushes and show you my hiney.
I guess.
You like it? All my brother monks call it "Gape-way To Heaven"!
You mean "Gate-way"?
You right, it means same thing!

by bigworm
To join, you must appear before every monk and show your hiney. They can sniff it too... I mean if they want to sniff it! 3 sniffs for each monk is maximum.
But remember, you are always boss of your own hiney... so...
So I can say "No sniffing"?
Yes, of course! Remember, you are always...
Yeh yeh!... boss of my own hiney.

by bigworm
Why do you wish to join an Asian Brotherhood?
Well, 'cus I'd have the biggest **** in the whole place.
How big?
Foot long.
Foot WRONG???
No... really! It's a foot long.

by bigworm
Dude!!! You liking it down there?
Oh, Hell yeh!The ambience is kind of close fitting, but the temperature is steady.
Well, you can thank God for being down there, 'cus if you were up here I'd turn you into a salt-lick!!!
Did you mean to say a 'pillar of salt'?
Yeh, wh... uhhh...
'Cus I don't like bein' mocked. That's why!

by bigworm
How did this happen?
I don't know
Are you setting me up? Now you ask me the same question.
Are you setting me up?
Technically, the other cat set you up. Any more questions?
Would you mind cleaning my litter box before you go?

by bigworm
So you're saying two of your alter egos met face to face on Haloween night.
A scuffle ensued wherein each alter ego managed to kill the other.
So tell me this Mr. Cat! How is it that you're here testifying today?
9-7 your Honor.
By Jove, I think you've got it!!!

by bigworm
Hey YOU!!! Dude in a pink bunny suit! I know who you are!
You're the one who cut my paws off! HELP!!! HELP!!! POLICE!!!
So you answered the cat's calls for help, hacked the attacking pit-bull 'till it ran off. Any injuries to the cat?
Yessir! The cat ran off with a limp, like maybe the pit-bull had chewed it's paws off.

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