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bigworm, four_legged_tripod

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by bigworm
The party'll be here. The motto? "Don't Walk Into The New Year! Get Sucked Into It"!!! So uh...I guess I'm ready.
Isn't it a little early?
Good point, but based on the incorrect assumption that I'm impatient and inconsiderately lustful.
That absolutely is my assumption!!! New Years is 5-6 days away, so how is it incorrect?
Honey, I'm just tryin' to make sure you got all the time you need to suck the old one out first!

by bigworm
I've come to apologize...
Does this mean I'm comin' down???
Would you please let me finish??? I gave them all the latest brand new folding leg tables...
Folding legs??? WTF??? Am I COMIN' DOWN???
NO!!! But the Pharisees are wild about those tables!!!

Welcome to the Exploratorium here in San Francisco.
Vat a nice place.
There have been some security issues so a moratorium has been placed on all picture taking.
And later, we will see the dairy farm where we gather the milk in the crematorium.
Oka---. Vait a minute!

by bigworm
Son, can we just say that running in circles suits us both, and thus we should keep doing it?
Yes Father! At dinner tonight we'll make a TOAST TO CIRCLES!!! I'll get the Grail and you can use a cup or the bottle or whatever! We're on our way now!
Yeh we are but uh, maybe I could use the Grail? Is there some reason you shouldn't use the bottle? I mean I'm just asking.
Well... maybe because I'm not the bottle sucking wino???

by bigworm
So you're back from lunch and ready to admit that you're a *******, correct?
Yes Bastard Father.
Now listen carefully boy! The term '*******' applies to a baby born out of wedlock, not to the father of the baby! Do you not understand that?
The father of a ******* child born out of wedlock could have been born a ******* himself, thereby making him a 'Bastard Father'!
Did you just call me a ******* you dirty rotten 'SON OF A BITCH'???

by bigworm
Dealing with you is not an easy task. To put it bluntly... you really are one problematic son-of-a-*****.
I'm tellin' mom!
NO PLEASE!!! Don't do that!!! Stay and help me find the middle ground... okay???
Of course I'll stay Dad!!! Let's talk!!!
Now that's my reasonable boy talkin'!!! So you would agree, would you not, that technically you are a *******!!! Am I not correct?
Geez!!! I'm goin' to lunch.

by bigworm
Any way you wanna' slice the pie... I'm the boss and you are my employee.
Know what Mr. Boss? You're about 3ft. short of having one of these horns right up your ass!!!
Be it a horn in my posterior, hell or high water. I'm still the boss!!!
Sorry! Didn't mean to catch you in an awkward moment! I'll just be movin' right along!
*Blelllp bleee bleeease!?!?!*

by bigworm
Uncross your arms!!!
Make me!
Okay Mr. Smartmouth, have it your way!

Sir! All the employees down stairs are sick and acting weird. It could be an epidemic or zombie outbreak!
Your point is?
We need to get out before we all get infected!
Oh, management knows all about it. We've even been exposed and there has been no effect on us.
So it's not a zombie outbreak?
Nope. Just a simple staff infection.

by bigworm
You should've seen your son earlier today defending women.
Oh really? His heart's in the right place.
I said one thing about women, and he acted as if I had called his girlfriend a *****.
OMG!!! He really is such a sweetheart.
Don't share this with him, but after meeting her the first time I thought she really was a *****!!! LOL!!!
Oh stop please!!! You've got me in stitches!

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