people WhiteMonkey is following

cbillioux, djte, Iron_E, Jenna_V, Mister_Owens, Mocha_Monk, nsusaint, the_rev, UnmitigatedHardness


latest comics from people WhiteMonkey is following

Before we hand out any more awards, we would like to take this opportunity to remember those we've lost in the past year, including Willie Hutch, Robert Moog, and some guy from the Chi-Lites.
And we would also like to recognize Sly Stone and Steve Schmitt, proud recepients of the Lifetime Achievement Awards and the Trustees Prize.
And the album of the year is coming right up, but we would be remiss if we didn't honor the legacy of Richard Pryor. Even though you didn't have much to do with music, Rich, we miss you.
Album of the year is coming up, right after this performance featuring a young, exciting performer and an over-the-hill guy from the '70s to validate that kid's presence here.
And now the moment we've all been waiting for...the album of the year, of course, goes to...Kan--U2?
...but before we hand that out, we would like to have another In Memoriam presentation for the relevance of this meaningless award.

11:59 PM, New Year's Eve
So there's your Maker's and Coke. And four dollars, fifty cents change. Hey, have you ever heard that whatever you're doing at midnight is what you'll be doing for the rest of the year?
Yeah, I have. That's pretty interesting. So, looking at the clock as you're doing it, would you mind giving me money again? And--cough, cough--putting your mouth on my *****?
12:00 AM
What did you say?
Great, this is awkward now. Just as the clock strikes twelve. Figures. Here. Take a doll--fifty cents for your trouble.

Outside, Valley's wrestling team was watching. They posed as money-holder-on-to-ers, and Zack--only street smart to his suburban brethren--gave them all the fantasy money.
Gee, Zack. Last time I had the first pick in something, I ended up with a Tonka truck in my peehole. I guess I'll take Jon Carney with the first overall pick.
Screech, now I can't screw over my friends! You were supposed to pick good players and then trade them all to me so that I would win the draft. I guess I'll take LaDanian Tomlinson now.
In a plan more elaborate than necessary, Zack enlisted the aid of Screech, who dressed up like NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue to convince Valley to give the money back.
Okay, preppie, pretend I have acid-washed jeans on. As an all-state athlete in whatever's convenient. I know a lot about football. I'm taking Sean Alexander with the third pick. Your turn, mama.
Pig. Since Tori can't be here this season, I'll pick for her. And since I'm here to represent the ladies, I'm taking one myself: Peyton Manning. Solidarity, sisters!
Zack accidentally said something about it to Belding, who quickly righted things after finding out just "what was going on here." Zack didn't learn his lesson, doing something similar the next week.
My family has fallen on rough times. I can't afford the entry fee. But if I could pick, I would take Priest Holmes. We should have done the draft at The Max though, so that I could see Jeff. I mean...
I'm buying three tickets with my dad's credit card, and I'll pick Edge James, Willis McGahee, and Daunte Culpepper, all smooth brothers. Wait, I don't have a racial identity.

Durham. Idea. More addictive than the new Sopranos pinball machine at The Boot. More affecting than finding out you weigh more than half the people on "Celebrity Fit Club."
If that idea isn't to apply for grad school, finish your rap album, or write your novel, it might not be productive. Then again, anything is better than playing Madden for six hours a day.
First off, Madden spurs creativity. Creating a hot route, I realised that heterodoxical kind of rhymes with popsicle. Anyway, people at work love Dilbert and office humour in general...
...the more cliched the better. It's always about circuitous instructions and muddled management. So why not have a comic about office people reading comics about office people? It looks like this:
Not being held accountable for his work, this guy reads Dilbert on the company's dime, relishing the jabs at middle management and our culture of misinformation.
We're funny because we're true.
[non-joke]

I was looking at that last strip. (It's an ability that I have when I'm drunk and animated. I can transcend cyberspace in my mind. The only trade-off is that this is my only expression.)
Anyway, you were wondering about these new basic cable shows--"Rescue Me" and so forth--that are billed as "provocative" and "daring." But do they really cover any new ground?
Yeah, are the cursing, violence, and sex helping the shows' realism or distracting us from flaws? If you show me a butt am I going to not notice that you're not being true to the character?
No, what I was talking about is that it's not sexy enough. They haven't crossed the line. It's always a dude's butt. They never show nipples or say ****. It's like watching "Silk Stalkings" again.
Not quite. You don't wait thirty minutes to see a girl's back. Anyway, we need those boundaries. Did you ever think you would be channel-surfing and find a chick getting slammed doggy-style at 9:00?
If it weren't 12:17 on a Sunday and we got high ratings and the sponsors stayed with us, I would slam you doggy-style. Except for the whole having one expression thing. Maybe we do need boundaries.

Durham, I'm watching the penultimate episode of "Nip/Tuck's" first season, and I can already tell it's going to end in a cliffhanger. I've watched 638 minutes for nothing.
Yeah, the same thing happened when you watched thirteen "Arrested Developments" during exam week only to find out that the dad escapes from prison and it just ends.
Or the time you watched a whole season of "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit"--
--Dude, Emmy-nominated. Wait until you get Netflix . Anyway, if a great show like that can't have resolution after sometimes ten hours of content, what can?
I'm not asking for much. Just curtains closing or something. Like, "Man, I can't believe J.R. just got shot." Then all the cast members put their arms around each other and go "Ta da!"
I can see what you're saying. There's nothing worse than a lack of resolution. For example,

by nsusaint
6-29-05
I gotta find Michael Jackson.
I'm sure it can't be that hard, just go to hollywood and go in the opposite direction of the kids running.
i'm here to see Mr. Jackson.
I'm sorry my son, but Mr. Jackson was aqquited on all charges and will not be visiting us today in jail.
I've got an idea
And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but..

by Mister_Owens
5-04-05
YES YES YES!!!! Only 3 weeks left of this wretched year!
Mr. Owens, you know you're going to miss us.
Miss you? Miss you how?
I mean you'll be sorry when we're gone. You know, you're gonna miss us and be sad.
The only way I'll miss you is with a shotgun, and that's what will make me sad.
you're such a kidder.

by djte
3-15-05
hey ***** i ****ed your **** so hard that when you sat on your father's lap your **** sucked him inside
yeah that's right i say things that are ****ing gross and make no logical sense. vaginal droppings. **** crust. anal leakage.
when i ****ed your mom last night she screamed so hard that my **** rammed right through her and came out of her throat and left a mark on the headboard.
dude, what in the FUCK are you talking about?

by Mocha_Monk
2-21-05
Well this is the weird I was expecting. Where to now Kimo Sabe?
I. . .****. I don't know.
Well, let's ummm. . . try the West End first. I need to head that way anyway.
Wait. . .how the hell do you have an agenda here?
Don't you worry about that my man. I sense beer in that direction, and it always knows the answer.
I've never argued with that line of thinking before. . .why start now?

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