people akihiko is following

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Overreacting Randolph overreacts again for no apparent reason...
I don't know why you're overreacting, dad...
All I said was the captain of the football team asked me if he could borrow my pencil.
(Well, he may have a case here.)
It's not like we went out to the parking lot and I blew him in his Hyundai!

I'm done hanging your record marlin on the wall... What do you think?
"I prefer you hang it a little higher..."
I feel an "and" coming on.
"...and FLUSH against the wall, moron!"
I'm not a PLUMBER, moron!

Holly attempts to help Randolph with his overreacting problem...
Okay, Randolph... I know you think the world's coming to an end because the Lakers got the 2nd draft pick, instead of the first, but it's really not that bad. They can still get a great player!
So, let's try some mental relaxation execises... I want you to stare at the wallpaper in this room. What do you see? Rainbows and butterflies! YAY! Can't you just feel the love, Randolph?
Randolph..? Hello..? Helloooooooooo??Ah, **** it... There's just no helping this douchebag!

That was the oddest thing...
A fairy flies in from out of nowhere and drops a medicine ball on this schmuck's head!
I mean, who owns a medicine ball in this day and age?

*RING*
"Aren't you going to answer the phone, nana?"
*RING*
Not when it's for you.
"How do you know it's for me?"
*RING*
Because, all my friends are DEAD.

That was the oddest thing...
I've seen plenty of bear attacks on TV, and not once did I see a bear conk a human on the head with a coconut!
I mean, where is a bear going to find a coconut here in the High Sierras?

What's in the pipe?
WHAT'S IN THE PIPE?? *WAAAAAAAAAAAH*
Ha, ha... You're doing a take off on the ending to "Se7en"!
No, seriously... What's in the pipe?
Dried tobacco, doofus!

Question...
Yes.
Do any of those greeting cards come pre-written?
No, the best part is they're all blank inside, so depending on the occasion, you get to write whatever's appropriate.
*SIGH*
What?

What's this..?
It looks like some sort of arm collage or somethin-
(It was at this moment Armando realized he was standing in the home of the serial murderer known as the "Limb Reaper".)
OH...MY...GOD!!!!!

Michael stood very still as he knew the Footlocker® referee's eyesight is based on movement...
If, he were to get caught being in the cemetery after hours for a third time, he would have to spend the next eight weekends picking up highway trash! So, he didn't move a muscle until...
*hic*
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
DAMMIT!!

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