people akirajim is following

akirajim, allenhenderson, andrewapm, Bedlam0331, BeNN_MaKK, blad, boinky33, Cowboy_Dave, crabby, dcomposed, Digger, fuck, Funkidelic, Kaddar, LongDongSilver, MaKK_BeNN, mega_h8, Mella, Netuohnav, pornography, redbrute, wenisinfurs, whoreable, wirthling

latest comics from people akirajim is following

by dcomposed
This soy milk shortage is getting rough. Terra Madre got some Bonsoy in today but only let me buy two boxes.
Are we really drinking that much soy milk to cause a shortage?
No.. The cargo ship carrying the milk from Japan is missing.
How the **** does a cargo ship go missing?
It didn't go missing... it's trying to enter the port and keeps missing.

by dcomposed
I thought my date last night went pretty well but I'm really confused by this text he sent me this morning.
What does it say?
It says 😁🍆🐴🕛😉. Any idea what that means?
I think it means that you're a pedophile.

by dcomposed
So how are you finding single life?
Well it's nice relaxing on my own but there are times I wish I still had a boyfriend.
Like when you are lying in bed and want someone to cuddle with? Or when you go out and everyone else is in a couple?
More like when I can't be arsed making a cup of tea.

by dcomposed
Ok Phil the beaver formation is working and you're all doing well with the hopscotch passing method. But they are moving into our touchzone too often so we're going to have to try the tickle defense.
Whose **** did you suck to be made head coach?
What? That's outrageous! I got this positon based on my merits!
What merits?
...I'm the only black man in town.

by crabby, 1-29-16

by crabby
You don't love me. Do you ice statue man? You don't care at all. You aren't even real.
Fuck you ice statue man. I'm going to drill a hole where your ice anus should be and **** you like the ***** you are, ****. I'm going to just **** you and cum in your ice cavities until you melt away.

by crabby
I've spent all day carving this ice statue of my ideal man. He's rough and rugged, but also aloof. He cares about family, but he has his own thoughts.
Most importantly. He loves me and I love him. Tell me you love me ice statue man. Tell me what I need to hear...

by crabby
Sir, I'm afraid I've met a new woman and I've caught the most long term STD possible. I'm going to need a week off from work.
A week? Just because you knocked up a woman? I'll let you leave an hour early tomorrow to take care of the abortion, but I expect you in normal time Wednesday.
No, it's not that sir! I'm in love!
WELL KISS MY GRITS! Take two weeks!

by crabby
So, you ever work in an office before?
Nah, I was a gym teacher for 42 years. School cut gym to save money.
No kidding, I was a gym teacher for 56 years. I lost everything in the mortgage crash back in 2007.
My grandmother died in 2007. She was 104 years old. She owned several properties we didn't even know about in California and Oregon. We inherited millions in real estate.
Did you lose everything?
We sold it all to Heath Ledger for a really nice large sum 14 months before he killed himself.

by crabby
First of all I'd like to thank you for meeting me in the parking lot this afternoon. You understand that the position we have to fill is that of a janiator.
Yup. I'm a janitor.
Great, that's just what we're looking for. Do you have any formal training or schooling. How do you keep up with the latest advancements in janitorial work?
Well, I'm a janitor.
I'd like to say, I appreciate your candor. I have three more people to interview, but right now, you're my front runner. I'm not supposed to say that. I'm really not. Expect an offer sheet today.
Proud to be your janitor.

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