people andydougan is following

arrandildocompany, BigEvilDan, biped, boinky33, boorite, Cities, evil_d, Externalization, israphael, itsclark, JihadFad, KajunFirefly, kaufman, kramer_vs_kramer, mandingo, mmyers, ObiJo, passive, pita, redbrute, retard, Scyess, squidrabies, wirthling


latest comics from people andydougan is following

by kaufman
2-13-19
This episode was scheduled to air on November 24, 1963.
Arf! Arf Arf. Rrrrruff!
What's that, Lassie?
Arf Arf Arf. Rarararrr!
Timmy stole a rifle from my gun cabinet and hooked the trigger to a timer?
For some reason, CBS never broadcast it, and destroyed the tapes
Ruff rufff! RRRRRarrrf!
And went to Texas and left it on a grassy knoll, ready to go off midday Friday? I'm going to have to have a talk with that boy.

by kaufman
2-10-19
Huh?
Wait a minute!
You're not wearing a bunny suit. Does that mean that you don't need to wear one to keep the aliens from making you want to kill yourself?
And you're not wearing a clown suit. I was going to ask you the same thing. I think we've been had.
Hey, do you think we ought to tell the blindfolded family over there that there's really nothing to worry about?
Naaaaaaah.

by kaufman
1-22-19
Spock! I just heard this contest is going to be decided by a random number generator! I need to know a lucky number so we can win.
Captain, with all due respect, it is illogical to think of numbers as lucky. Besides, I am quite busy right now. Dr. McCoy asked me to improve a Christmas song.
Well, is there a number in that song I can use or something?
Very well, Captain. The number is 5,878,625,373,183.6
Five trillion, eight hundred what? What the hell carol is that from?
On the 5,878,625,373,183.6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 5,878,625,373,183.6 miles in a light year, 5,878,...

by evil_d
12-20-18
I'm concerned that the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" helps to normalize sexual assault.
It doesn't sound like you've listened to more of that song than its title.
Adults know that it's consensual, but to kids who don't get the subtext, it teaches that men coming into random women's houses and kissing them is acceptable.
Hmm. Aren't you also concerned that Santa is just assumed to be heterosexual?
Well, I mean, he does canonically have a wife.
Maybe she's Santa's true beard.

by evil_d
11-25-18
I just heard you call that guy "comrade". Are the two of you Soviet spies?
You're being ridiculous. My friend's name is "Conrad". And there is no Soviet Union anymore.
Oh, right. Sorry to bother you.
Anyway, Conrad, here are the blueprints for the voting machines.
Спасибо. With these, Ivanka's 2024 campaign can't fail.

by evil_d
11-09-18
And another thing about your transvestite prostitute mother—
Wuh-oh, better step in here.
*poof*
Wow, I thought that guy was going to beat me up for sure! Thanks for saving me, God! How'd you do it?
Fatal heart attack. And I've got to say, I don't think you want to know what's happening to your corpse right now.

by KajunFirefly
10-02-18
Do you want to watch the new Doctor Who? I think you'll like it.
How is he a girl now?
Well, The Doctor isn't really a "he", The Doctor is a Timelord from the planet Gallifrey and when their bodies are decaying they have the biological ability to regenerate their cells...
...
When they die they respawn with a new custom skin.
k

by kaufman
9-24-18
I told you to mop the mess hall. What do you think you're doing? ----------------------- I'm only sleeping.
*sigh*
That's the seventh comic in this Beatle Bailey collection that had that exact punch line.

by evil_d
9-19-18
Avast, matey! I be here to plunder a burger, a large fries, and all yer doubloons!
Oh, hold on, I have a button to press in situations like this.
Whoa, take it easy man. I'm just celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day; no need to call the cops.
I'm not pressing the panic button. This is the zap-customers-who-think-they're-funny button.

by evil_d
9-12-18
Harold Jefferson, you died of a heart attack at 3:07 this morning. It is time for your soul to be weighed.
You don't look like God.
You've never seen God; only pictures drawn by humans. Now, it says here that you merged in front of another driver and then slowed down a grand total of 1,683 times?
I'd like you to balance that against the fact that I always tipped the Girl Scouts a dollar extra when I bought cookies.
It doesn't count if you try to stuff it in their bras. C'mon, lava pools are this way.

Older comics »

« Back to the Front Page