All comics by benohki

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by benohki
3-01-01
So it happened like this...
I, Say-tan, hereby proclaim Gahd to be gay!
Then this occured...
HEY! Shut up, "Satan", my personal life is none of your business!
And it somehow led to t his, don't ask how.
And so I was born.
Shut up. Who the hell are you. Where the hell are we?

 

by benohki
3-01-01
Hmm... we seem to be standing on a clear non-alcoholic substance...
How exactly is that possible? Standing in water...
Elsewhere...
Hey! Just became I find "All in the Family" funny doesn't make me gay!
Now back to our hero...
Wow, I almost feel sorrow for having to do that!
Don't worry, you had to keep warm somehow!...bitch.

 

by benohki
3-01-01
Where did that trash can come from?
I don't like being separated from my pet (insert animal here).
If you see bombs in the background here, seek help immediately.
Ahh, there we go, much better.
...And how the hell did you do that?
If you see more scenes of war in the background here, you're still having flashbacks, keep screaming.
Yay! Finally reunited with (insert animal here), my pet!
Up yours, Lord Borky Porky.

 

by benohki
3-01-01
Yay, tricks!
Ah, I wish I had some poop right now.. mmm.. sweet sweet poop.
"There's not enough poop in the world for me and all the other dogs, so I decided to graciously end my life so that the other dogs may have a little more poop."
Yess! Yess! Hell's nothing but poop.. NOTHING BUT POOP!
I thoroughly apologize for the tastelessness of this strip.
So how do you like hell?
Plastic poop... WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE PLASTIC POOP!?

 

by benohki
3-01-01
Let's just play along and pretend I'm not uglier than this comic character.
Wow, I get to be the in-strip incarnation of Ben-Ohki!
And if you dare try to steal my spotlight, I'll kill you!
The lord there speaks the truth.
Wow! I can actually interact with you now! And pretend women like me!
No you can't, no girl would be caught dead with you, in real life or in the comic!
Life bites. Women hate me.
Maybe I'll get comic-laid! There's always a good chance of that!
Right, and maybe alien bugs will climb into your ass and hollow you out as a nest. There's always a good chance of that!

 

by benohki
3-01-01
(Insert not-so-witty quip here)
So, what's it like being an (insert animal here)?
It sucks more ass than you can even begin to imagine.
Sick of the whole (insert animal here) concept yet?
Oh, how so?
Constant identity crises, I don't know who or what I am.
Too bad, huh?... Well, that I'm continuing the joke, not that the ladies hate me. Good for them.
Gee, I guess that makes you a real "multi-faceted person"! *snicker*
That's about as funny as the fact that not even a dead cow would want you.

 

by benohki
3-01-01
Hi. I'm the one girl in this whole strip, same damn one who's in all the strips on this server.
Whoah, are those REAL?
I see, as usual, like every comic strip male, you're just out for sex.
No! You see, I care more about a long and meaningful loving relationship of happiness, beginning with a truly close platonic friendship, based on getting to know each other, not mere carnal desire!!!
Old joke...saying what you should think, thinking what you should say...
You DO realize now that I'm going to castrate you, right?
Castration? Is that anything like masturbation?

 

by benohki
5-12-01
Get ready for it...
Word up!
Word up, mah homo-er, homey!?
Psychic White Trash Kids 2:The SEQUEL!
Oh no, Deshaun! You shouldn't've psychically murdered 13 people!
Shu'up, ho'!
Coming soon to a theatre near you!... in hell.. in 2001.
Don't you go tryin' ass-rapin' me, Deshaun!
Sho'nuff I will, bitch! I'm already doin' it, Tyrell!

 

by benohki
5-12-01
I would like to conduct bizarre sexual experiments on you.
Who WOULDN'T want to?
If this makes no sense to you...
Wow. I never ate like that in my LIFE!
Bling Bling, biatch.
...you haven't had enough to drink yet.
I have now become a penguin with a bondage fetish.
Well then why don't you EAT ME!?

 

by benohki
5-14-01
And now... The ADVENTURES OF BUM GOAT!
*Contemplates the universe*
THE END.
Waitaminute,I don't exist!...ow.
Meanwhile...
Laura, the bong's stuck in my nose again!
For the last time, George, you smoke it, not snort it! It's not like your old crack days!

 

by benohki
5-14-01
I'm asian.
I'm native american.
No you're not! It says so right below! You're asiangirl2!
It's wrong.
It's the adventures of the NO PUNCHLINE GIRLS!.. maybe you'll see them again... maybe not.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.

 

by benohki
8-21-01
CBS Coverage of Election 3025
I'm Zontar G'tulen, and this is CBS' coverage of the presidential debates. Tonight we watch the top candidates talk about their platforms.
Bob Dole and Ross Perot...
I'm Bob Dole! And Bob Dole speaks for the dead, Bob Dole's people! Drink Pepsi!
America, I want to be your president! With my latest mutation, not only can I hear, smell, taste, touch, and see our problems, but with this new forehead organ, I can also poke them!
And.. George P. Bush.. not another one....
*Hic* This where you say that darn caucus be, Daddy? You said I could have another chocolate milk wallbanger once we got here!
Not gonna comment.. wouldn't be prudent...

 

by benohki
9-06-01
Now On Video! The No Punchline Girls Get Wild!
I don't like you.
I think you suck.
Hear them using new words you'd never have before imagined!
Your odoriforousness offends mine pores.
Thou doth speak of falsity!
...sorry, no nudity, you perverts.
Hey, FUCK YOU.
GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU BITCH!

 

by benohki
9-06-01
The Setup...
*Beep*
Hahahahaha! What a delivery!
...
*Toot*
...Robot Humor Is Lost on Humans.
*Ping*

 

by benohki
9-11-01
I am New York City.
I am the remnants of an airplane destroying the world trade center.
I am one of Dubya's useless missiles.
I am New York City.
Where the fuck were your precious missiles, Dubya?

 

by benohki
9-12-01
In the Pentagon...
Hey, where's Steve?
He died on the plane, remember?
"I can picture his very demise now..."
AAAHHHH!!! MR. SNOOGUMS! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEE!
Sick, aren't I?
HAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

by benohki
10-25-01
KKK Applications
Hi.
...
...
...
This had to happen eventually.
I hate black people. Always keepin' the white man down.
Get out.

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