people bokonon is following

Auntie, kthor, TEDA


latest comics from people bokonon is following

by TEDA
12-28-05
I would like to make a retraction of my previous statements implying I masturbate on the reserved day of the birth of Jesus.This is misleading and I apologize for saying something that is just untrue.
In fact, the only times of the year I don't pound my dumb ******y nuts is on Christmas, Easter, and by extension the whole weekend leading up to Easter (Good Friday and what have you). Here is why:
(Sunday morning)
Hey, I'm back! What have you been up to since I've been,uh, away?
Well, uh. Er. Hoo. Awkward.

by TEDA
12-25-05
Hey people, let's really remember what matters on this day.
After all, squeezin' is the reason for the season.
I'LL BE HONKING IT FOR THE HOLIDAYS
I am of course referring to my fat holiday nuts here. HNNNGH

by TEDA
12-24-05
Fuck yeah I'm clinching on my big fat veiner on Christmas Eve
CHING CHING CHING CHING CHING CHING CHING SQRRPPPPPLLPPPPP
Oh you fat son of a *****.
nnnngh...ho ho, my goodness!
Christ. it still has little chunks of cookies in it.
I ATE A HANDFUL OF LAXATIVES ON THE WAY HERE AND I COULDN'T QUITE GET TO YOUR STOCKING SO I SMUSHED IT NEXT TO THE FIREPLACE THERE

by TEDA
5-01-04
I LISTEN TO NICKELBACK AND NOT MUCH ELSE BECAUSE MY AUNT DIED ONCE AND I CAN RELATE BEING SORRY FOR BEING A FUCKUP BEFORE AND AFTER SHE DIED, ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO SET PRETTY GIRLS' TITS ON FIRE
MY NEXT BIRACIAL BABY WILL BE NAMED "PAYDAY" WHICH WILL KEEP ME IN PIPE STEMS AND WHITE CASTLE UNTIL I FIND A MAN TO SHOW ME THE BETTER THINGS IN LIFE (RALLY'S)
I UPDATED MY MYSPACE PROFILE AND LONG STORY SHORT ANY DAY NOW I WON'T JUST BE INVITING MY PLATONIC FEMALE FRIENDS OVER TO TAKE PICTURES OF MY CATS WHICH ARE 8 AND 7 AND 6 1/2 AND 12, RESPECITVELY
I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH! LOL! OH MAN ONE TIME I HAD MONO FOR A STRAIGHT MONTH AND MISSED OUT ON THE WHOLE WHASSUP THING AND I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING TO MAKE UP EVER SINCE
AND YOU SAW AMERICAN HISTORY X RIGHT? WHERE THEY CURBSTOMPED THE GUY? THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THE GUY I WAS GOING TO DO IF MY TOREADOR GOT HIM OUTSIDE AND THAT'S BEFORE THE CAPEORIA YOU KNOW?
I HAVE A CANADIAN BOYFRIEND I SEE ONCE A YEAR AND HE TREATS ME OKAY

by TEDA
5-01-04
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKES I MUST BE THE ONLY TOTALLY HETERO MAN IN THE WORLD THAT HAS OCCASIONALLY FANTASIZED OF PUTTING HIS VIENER IN ROGER DALTRY'S TURDTUNNEL
HEY BUDDY YOU CAN TOUCH PEEHOLES WITH ANY GROSS FAG DUDE YOU WANT JUST MAKE SURE THAT LOS LADIES UNDERSTAND THAT I MAJORLY DIG TWO THINGS: EATING PUSSY AND ROBBIE WILLIAMS (NOT IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE)
WHOA MAN THAT GAME LOOKS LIVE WHAT IS THAT A TOM CLANCY GAME OR LIKE HITMAN THREE OR PSSH WHATEVS I AM JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO TAKE A PISS BREAK SO I CAN SNIFF YOUR SEAT
CLEARLY I AM DISTINGUISHED WITH THAT RARE SUBSET OF OUR ENTERTAINMENT SUBCULTURE KNOWN AS "INTELLIGENT GAMERS" AS I CONSIDER IT AN ACCOLADE TO FIND A GIRL GAWKY ENOUGH TO LIKE GAMES INSTEAD OF ANAL
MY GUY IS A WAR TOREADOR YOU KNOW? HE HAS FIVE DOTS IN BRAWL WITH A SPECIALIZATION IN CAPEORIA (THAT'S BRAZILLIAN DANCE FIGHTING) AND LET ME STATE WHILE I'M STILL OOC THAT HE WILL KILL YOUR CHARACTER
I HATE SEX BECAUSE I WAS RAPED EIGHT YEARS AGO

by TEDA
3-06-04
MISTER FRODO YOU ARE LEAVING HOW SHALL I LIVE IN THE SHIRE WITHOUT YOU
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND SAM IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY THE BURDEN OF THE RING HAS MADE ME AN OUTSIDER IN MY OWN HOME
I WILL GO WITH YOU MISTER FRODO I CAN'T BE WITHOUT YOU HOW CAN I GO ON IN THE SHIRE WITHOUT MY MISTER FRODO
YOU WILL FIND A WAY NOW THAT YOU HAVE A WIFE AND CHILDREN SOMEONE HAS TO CONTINUE THE STORY WHERE I LEAVE OFF JUST LIKE HOW BILBO LEFT ME TO LEAVE OFF HIS STORY AND
JESUS CHRIST ALL ABOARD THE HMS BABY BOO HOO YOU HAIRFOOTED FAGGOTS

by TEDA
3-06-04
You must realize that when one traverses back through the fabric of time that the slightest alteration to what already is, no matter how small, can have long reaching and pervasive consequences.
I AM LOSING MY TIME HARD
You must understand that even with well meaning of say, killing Hitler, it may have unforetold and perhaps calamitous effects rippling through time so you must promise me you will be most careful!
CAN DO
AND SO HISTORY IS MADE
FRRRRRRRRRPPT
(LINDBERGH BABY)

by TEDA
3-06-04
Look at this place, it's a pigsty! Everything is a mess, and let's not get into all those clothes hangers all in a pile in the corner of the closet there!
THAT IS NOT A PILE OF COAT HANGERS THAT IS A GROTTO SHRINE TO THE PATRON SAINT OF BACK ALLEY ABORTIONS
BITCH

by TEDA
3-06-04
HEY CHINKY MC CHINK WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO CHINALAND WITH GOOKY GOOK AND THE SLANTY BUNCH AND PRACTICE A LITTLE KARATE
I wonder what the devil he was talking about.

by TEDA
3-06-04
OI YEH PACK OF SODDY YANKS WIT YEH DOZY BIZZLE BANGER PINGLE TINGLE TOOM RUMPY BUMPY TUM TUM, WOT
I REFUSE TO ENTERTAIN THIS EXCHANGE FURTHER WITHOUT AT LEAST A CURSORY NOD TO THAT WHICH I UNDERSTAND (GREEN LANTERN, NOT MUCH ELSE)
JESUS CHRIST CAN WE JUST KNOCK COCKS TOGETHER TWICE AND CALL IT A NIGHT
SEEING AS I AM THE BALDEST MAN CURRENTLY IN THE ROOM I DEMAND FIRST CRACK AT LYING ON THE BABY CHANGING STATION WITH AS MANY HOLES AS POSSIBLE IN THE AIR
SO THAT WAS LIKE WHEN I TOLD THE GUY "HEY BUDDY, I HATE TO GO OOC HERE BUT I MUST REMIND YOU THAT I HAVE FIVE DOTS IN BRAWL WITH A SPECIALIZATION IN CAPOERIA (THAT'S BRAZILIAN DANCE FIGHTING) AND"
I CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN ANY MORE

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