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latest comics from people crabby is following

by kaufman
Doctor, did I see you treating Mary Poppins this morning?
Yes, that was her. In the flesh!
You're kidding. What was wrong with her?
All sorts of things. Abdominal pain, shortness of breath, dryness, nausea, sliding up banisters, continually needing to pee, ...
Were you able to diagnose her?
Yes. It's supercalifragilisticketoacidosis!

Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!
My six-feet social-distancing electro-shock force-field really works!
Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!
Feel the burn, *****!
Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!

Dammit, I can't get past the super-goblin!
A2 up, then B1 left, moron!
You're an ofice plant... What do you know?
Okay, A2 up, then B1 left and... Wait. WTF?? The screen went blue! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!
That'll teach for listening to an office plant! MORON!!

by kaufman
We are the essential workers risking our health to keep you alive during this COVID-19 outbreak.
We are the hospital workers, grocery store workers, drivers, restaurant workers, public safety officers, everyone needed to keep society working.
Unfortunately, there just isn't enough PPE to protect us. They can't give us a bunch of N-95 masks.
It really sucks, doesn't it? We do this critical work, and there is no equipment to keep us safe.
So instead, we've been wearing these masks, and it turns out they're even more effective.
Because who in their right mind would want to get within six feet of any of us?

In a packed hospital boardroom a citizens taskforce is formed to address the crisis
Alright everyone, I brought you all here to address a "grave" concern
Hey Doc, what happened to all the stiffs?
Can you focus, Angie? The only stiff you need to take care of is under these scrubs
Hey you! I need IDEAS not glassy eyed stares! Is this your first task force?

Pokey runs into a coughing Chinese girl...
(His reaction was expected.)

Hey, Jesus... I beat the Coronavirus!
Yeah, I had to take a ****load of hydroxychloriquin, which ate away my skin, but I beat it! YAYYYY!!!
Why do you have a mask on? I mean, being the Son of God, don't you have some kind of super-immunity?

Hearing that bulging eyes are a tale-tell sign of COVID-19 infection...
...Roger and Randolph stared at each other, frozen in fear for twenty-three minutes.
I got these bulging eyes from putting expired Visine in my eyes!
I got my by walking in on Rosie O'Donnell and Michael Moore sixty-nining!

I'm sorry I had to kill your dog, ma'am, but he was infected with COVID-19...
You shot Old Yeller??
No, I sawed him in half... He yelped like a little ***** the whole time!
Wouldn't have been more humane if you had shot him?
Yeah, but where's the fun in that?

Hearing that a swollen tongue is a tale-tell sign of COVID-19 infection...
...Wigu and Adam stared at each other in fear for minutes.
I got this swollen tongue from drinking scalding coffee!
I got mine from eating Madonna's *****!

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