people il_schmucko is following
allenhenderson, attitudechicka, A_Chicka, deucepm, DexX, DH-01, evil_d, gabe_billings, Headphones_Annie, hipperthanu, israphael, itsclark, JoshChrist, kaufman, kramer_vs_kramer, lara7, Mentski, misterq, niteowl, ObiJo, Spankling, Tangent27, timxcampbell, wirthling
latest comics from people il_schmucko is following 
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You are standing inside the temple in Jerusalem. Several moneychangers and other merchants are operating tables here. There are exits to the north, east, south, and west.
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The merchants are too busy to talk with you right now.
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| QUOTE SCRIPTURE TO MERCHANTS | |
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I don't understand what you want to do with the merchants.
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| Those Jerries think they've got us pinned down, but we ain't givin' up yet! | |
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| Johnson! Callahan! I want you to circle around and attack their flank, on the double! | |
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| And for the love of God stop looking like a pair of feet! | |
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| Dad, I still don't understand why we take the humans and insert tubes into their waste canals. | |
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| Well, we can't communicate with the humans, but we know they enjoy waste-canal insertion since we found two of them doing it in a field. | |
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| So now, every few months, we bring a chosen few up to the ship to further our mission of bringing them happiness and love! | |
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| I guess that makes sense. But why do we do it to the cows? | |
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| Surprised Moos Vol. 1 was a best-selling album for nine straight weeks! | |
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| Oh no, I should have asked you before I came home with you ... You're not circumcized, are you? | |
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| Uh, I am. What's the problem? Reduced sensation for you? | |
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| Oh no, nothing like that. It just means you'll have no ... | |
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| Hey, wanna go back to my place? | |
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| That's a pretty bold line. Care to tell me what you've got that will make it worth my while? | |
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| I happen to know that this is a FOUR-panel comic, which means that I can last 33% longer. | |
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| If I am elected, I will bring America back to the gold standard. | |
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| College is for snobs. We need more ignorant rubes. | |
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| Nothing wrong with dumping your ailing wife and marrying your mistress. It's so nice I did it twice! | |
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| I'm just like you guys. I like grits and my wife drives two Cadillacs. | |
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| My children, do not let scientists trick you into believing in dinosaurs. God planted those bones in the ground to test our faith! | |
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| I sure did! And man, you have no idea how funny it is to watch those guys spend their whole lives obsessing over a practical joke! | |
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| Er... my Lord? Is it really you? Have you come to earth to begin the Rapture, and summon the faithful to your side? | |
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| Eh, not exactly. I'm getting bored with this game, so I came to stir up some tornadoes and floods before I start over. Think I'll make frogs the dominant species! | |
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| Anyhow, if I were you guys, I'd buy umbrellas. I mean, you're screwed either way, but it might make you feel better. Toodle-oo! | |
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