people itsclark is following

allenhenderson, andydougan, Bogart, boorite, Buffylavalamp, bunnerabb, coffman14, crabby, DexX, Drexle, fuck, gabe_billings, habnem, il_schmucko, israphael, JrnymnNate, KajunFirefly, kaufman, kazashima, Kevin_Keegans_Perm, ladyjdotnet, ObiJo, pita, rfmodulator, Spankling, tkopp, TwistOfReality, wirthling


latest comics from people itsclark is following

by kaufman
11-26-14
Nice car, Q. What does that button do?
Be very careful, 007. When pressed, this activates a dental floss dispenser.
And who do I have the pleasure of being rescued by?
My name is Labial Chlamydia.
Before you kill me, Goldfinger, will you at least tell me about Operation Grand Slam?
Of course, Mr. Bond. I take you to Denny's for breakfast. What did you think it was?

by kaufman
11-17-14
There you are! Thank god, I was so worried about you. Where were you all weekend?
In the shower shampooing. The instructions said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat", so I did, until the bottle ran out. Speaking of which, I've got to go.
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT CVS
I need a gallon of shampoo.
Already? Honey, you just bought one two days ago.

by kaufman
11-17-14
I was reading about palindromes in those dictionaries I found.
Oh yeah, and what are they?
Books that have words and their definitions, but that's not the point.
Yeah, yeah, you got me. So what did you do then?
I spent the afternoon rooting around in my dad's basement.
You really shouldn't do that. You never know what you'll find there.

by kaufman
10-17-14
You may ask yourself, who is the most tortured soul of all God's creations? The answer is Paul McCartney's guardian angel.
It all started in 1976 when the angel absentmindedly started singing an insipid tune performed by Paul and his band...
o/`Someone's knocking at the door, Somebody's ringing the bell ...
Wait a minute, every time a bell rings, an angel gets its Wings. I'm an angel, a bell's ringing, and now I'm getting some Wings. And it's THAT DAMNED SONG AGAIN!
o/`Someone's knocking at the door, Somebody's ringing the bell ...
Wait a minute, every time a bell rings, an angel gets its Wings. I'm an angel, a bell's ringing, and now I'm getting some Wings. And it's THAT DAMNED SONG AGAIN!

by kaufman
10-08-14
Inside the security office at a major airport ...
That man third in line just got in from Africa and he looks a little sickly. We'd better do away with him before he infects us all.
Roger that.
They quickly drop the suspected disease carrier to the bottom of the sea, believing that there he will no longer be a threat, BUT ...
Coming soon to Syfy: EBOLPHIN!
So long, and thanks for all the viruses.

by kaufman
10-07-14
I JUST BOUGHT A NEW iPHONE.
EEEEEEEEEEE!
AND I THINK I HAVE A BAD YEAST INFECTION, SO I DOUCHED WITH DRANO.
OOOOOOOOHHHHH!
You're not even listening to me, are you?
YES! YES! YES! HOLEEE SHIT!

by kaufman
10-07-14
They just opened a new Wal-Mart in town.
EEEEEEEEEEE!
It will run all the local shops out of business.
OOOOOOOOOH!
And so underpay its workers that they will have to suck millions from the government in food stamps, etc.
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

by kaufman
10-07-14
I WENT TO THE DOLLAR STORE YESTERDAY AND BOUGHT A PENCIL
EEEEEEEEE!
IT'S VERY SHARP AND HAS AN ERASER ON THE END!
EEEEEEEEEEE!
As the water cooler begins cracking ...
AND NOW I DON'T HAVE TO USE MY FINGER TO PICK BOOGERS OUT OF MY NOSE!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

by kaufman
10-07-14
I CAN NOW CALL OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE PHONES.
Is that what you can do with them?
Maybe we should get some. Then she could call us.

by kaufman
10-07-14
THEY JUST OPENED A CELL PHONE STORE DOWN THE STREET.
OOOOOOOOOH!
EEEEEEEEEEE!
AND I BOUGHT ... A PHONE!
WHEEEEEEEE!
OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!

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