people itsclark is following

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latest comics from people itsclark is following

by kaufman
11-29-16
With earth heating up and everything, something had to be done.
And then I remembered that old movie where a guy plays chess with Death.
So I challenged a personification of Global Warming to a game, winner take all.
Little did he know, I was a Grandmaster. After 20 moves I was up a knight and a pawn. I had him on the ropes.
So what the heck happened?
He just grinned, and next thing I know, there were puddles of liquid plastic where all my pieces had been.

by kaufman
11-24-16
I have your prayer summary for the day. At #3, 200 million people want Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton to choke on each other's vomit. At #2, 1.4 billion want peace in the Middle East.
Hmmmm ... that one finally got knocked from the top spot. What in the world beat it?
Apparently, this is becoming a bigger crisis. 2.3 billion prayed for an end to global warming.
I think I can take care of that one for them. I'll just turn off the sun.

by kaufman
10-25-16
10,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,003
10,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,002
10,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,001
For crying out loud, Sergei, it doesn't really matter. Just name the company after the next number you say.

by kaufman
10-21-16
X, IX, VIII, VII, VI, V, IV, III, II, I, ...
Oh ****. We have no number for zero.
Guess we need to scrub the launch.

by kaufman
10-01-16
1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ...
You have the right to remain silent for all eternity ...
After shooting Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr reads him his Lin-Manuel Miranda rights.

by kaufman
9-08-16
Inspired by the successful 1990s series, Dr. Sam Beckett once again finds himself transported through time into other people's bodies.
Oh boy, I'm a fireman!
I've got control of this. I can put this fire ou ... hey, wait! My arm is falling off!
History corrected, he jumps to infect another body. See what happens on the next episode of QUANTUM LEPER.

by kaufman
7-08-16
How ya doin'?
All right. That's quite an outfit you've got on there. What are you supposed to be?
Can't you tell? I'm the Staten Island Fairy. How 'bout you? What are you?
I'm the George Washington Bridge, of course.
The George Washington Bridge? Then why the Jesus get-up?
Somebody crossed me. Ya gotta problem with dat?

by kaufman
7-08-16
Ok, where is he?
I'm going to kill that robot. Can't he get anything right?
Tobor, what are you doing? You're not dressed, you're not on set, and the Statue of Liberty scene is in the next panel!
TOBOR CAN'T REMEMBER HIS LINES. WHAT IS IT AFTER "GIVE ME YOUR POOR, CUDDLED ASSES BURNING"?

by KajunFirefly
6-23-16
The £350m thing was a lie!
You wot?
The NHS funding promise, it wasn't actually true
...
You just voted cos of the Muslims, didn't you?
RUUUUUUULE BRITANNIA!

by kaufman
6-18-16
Boys, I've got this new kid named Lou doing backing vocals for me tonight. You can have the night off. But don't worry, you'll be backing me up again at my next show ...

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