people itsclark is following

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latest comics from people itsclark is following

by kaufman
8-12-17
And how was your meal, sir?
The pancakes were wonderful, the eggs delicious...
Excellent...
... but the cereal was awful! I've never tasted anything so bad. It was inedibly stale!
Of course it was, sir. We use only the most ancient of grains!

by kaufman
7-27-17
Hey, what are you doing?
Are you listening to me? How long have you been lying there?
Well, tell you what? If you've been doing it for that long, I have a job for you.

by kaufman
7-04-17
Lenin and McCommie
o/` It's been a hard day's night. And I've been working like a proletariat!
Oh yeah, I tell you something, I think you'll understand, When I say that something. I've got a five-year plan! o/`

by kaufman
4-12-17
Hi, Liz.
Hey, Bobby Sue, how was your date last night?
Awful, boring. He was no excitement whatsoever. I need something more! Where are all the bad boys?
Let me guess. You'd be turned on by being driven home by some drunk tattooed guy in a beat-up pickup who's missing a few teeth.
Oh, god, yes! That would be so romantic. But where would I find a guy like that?
I have good news. There's a new app available for download. It's called gUber.

by kaufman
3-29-17
2:00 PM: Takeoff ifrom Kathmandu
1:45 PM: Flying over Afghanistan
1:15 PM: Ready to land in Baghdad
Don't you love these Concordes?
Yeah, but not half as much as I dig weird time zones.

AAAIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!
by kaufman, 2-07-17

by kaufman
2-05-17
Oh my god, I overslept. I've missed the Super Bowl!
Jesus, how'd that happen? Wait a minute ...
Just as I thought. Goddamned Brady lowered my Sleep Number 10 points.

by kaufman
2-03-17
So we're stuck here?
Sure looks it.
For all eternity?
For all eternity.
Who'd have thought those messages would actually come true?
Look, for the thousandth time, I'm sorry I said we should append "in bed" to our fortunes! I thought it would be funny.

by kaufman
2-01-17
Good night.
Sleet tied.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.

by kaufman
12-28-16
I saw you were busy this week, Grimmy.
You know it! The holiday season is always good for me, and this year's angst just adds to it.
But your taking both Carrie Fisher and her mother within a day of each other ... Don't you think that was going a bit too far?
Awww, come on, you know I can't resist a bargain. And this year's Christmas deals were simply spectacular!
Christmas deals?
Sure. Their family had a "die one, get one free" sale.

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