people itsclark is following

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latest comics from people itsclark is following

by kaufman
In honor of Black History Month, we pay tribute to James Wilkens, who reformed the idea of Leap Year as we know it.
Nobody cares about February 29th, and it's so confusing, coming only every 4 years.
He came up with the idea of ditching February 29th. Instead, now every four years, we have two February 14ths. A double Valentine's Day! A lover's paradise, who wouldn't like that?
I wuv you!
I know. You told me that yesterday.
Ok, besides this guy. And millions of others like him.
nobody wants to go out with me i'm all alone and i get this rubbed in my face for another whole day why me why?

by crabby
My dating strategy is simple. I avoid any race related jokes. I show up on time and I usually pick a fun place like a pancake house.
Let's be honest. I'm no casanova, but one thing I am is fairly confidant I will enjoy the pancakes.
Well, that was my dating strategy. Before I got married. And before I was diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer. Now I'm literally just counting down the days.

by crabby
I tend to live my life how I want to live it. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to adversely affect anyone. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.
Do not concern yourself with my pursuits. I will make you aware of my accomplishments if I choose and if I choose not to that is still my choice to make.
We are not defined by the restrictions we place upon each other as human beings. Instead we should celebrate that as unique beings we both just want what is best for ourselves.

by kaufman
In January, 1973, American League owners passed rules changes without anyone actually proofreading them. Three months later ...
It's opening day at Fenway Park, the Yankees versus the Red Sox.
Two outs, bases loaded, top of the first, and Ron Blomberg's coming to the plate, about to make history.
Blomberg calls time, and he's ordering all the Jewish fans removed from the stadium to be sent to concentration camps.
I can't believe they ratified that Designated Hitler rule.

by kaufman
Ready, here we go, final verse...
o/` On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Twelve drummers drumming, Eleven pipers piping, Ten ladies dancing, Nine lords a-leaping,
Eight maids a-milking, Seven swans a-swimming, Six geese a-laying, Nothing at all, Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

by crabby
Son, I was a bad little boy just like you when I was your age. They tried every punishment in the world, but I wouldn't stop being bad.
Then one day your grandmother said she would have sexual relations with me if I aised all of my grades up to a B average and stopped getting into trouble.
So son, as of today, you have until your next report card to get your grades up or else I'm going to **** you. No exceptions.
eport cards come out tomorrow...

by kaufman
Oh drat. I need gas.
What's it going to be? Regular? Premium? Diesel? E-85?

by kaufman
Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the convention center?
Sure. Go down the road to your third right, then follow it around the big curve, taking an immediate left, go a quarter mile to another left, then just past the ...
Hello, welcome to the conference.
I'm glad to be here, but where are all the men?

by kaufman
Heh heh heh heh!
What are you in for?
Tory statue ****.

by kaufman
I finally cracked the Nazi code. Let's see what they're saying. B-E-S-U- ...
This could turn the whole war! It says "Be sure to" ...
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine? Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a *****! The Krauts have been wasting our time with spam.

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