All comics by ivirmcman

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by ivirmcman
1-05-02
A pimp making an offer to a client....
Listen, I wanna make you an offer..
Hurry up man, I just wanna get some ass tonight.
Alright. It'll cost you $200 to have sex with me.
200 dollary doos?? TOBIAS!!
Fuck this shit, I'm outta here.

 

by ivirmcman
1-05-02
A story of a stupid man.
Man......I feel like selling my soul to the devil.
That can be arranged....
HOLY SHIT, IT'S THE COPS!!!
You are under arrest!!
This is fucking great. I sell my soul to the devil to become famous and I wind up getting ass rammed every night.
It's time for your spounge bath.

 

by ivirmcman
1-05-02
A horrifying accident occurs...
Hey, do you know what happened here or what?
Nah dude, I just came to buy to some weed.
Do you know what happened here?
Man you got an ass on you. Do you work out??
Oh my God, I can't even look. That's so horrific.
If someone could get me off of this thing it would help me a lot. It really hurts to have nails driven through your hands and feet. For God's sake help me out!! You must be an atheist....or a jew.

 

by ivirmcman
1-05-02
I wanna go and fight in the war.
You do know what will happen to you if you fight in the war, don't you??
Wow, you showed me the error of my ways. How can I repay you?
Can I have your nuts?

 

by ivirmcman
1-05-02
Hi Meghan!
Hi Asef!
.....Man she's got huge juggs
.....did i leave the oven on??
Bye Meghan!
Bye Asef!

 

by ivirmcman
1-05-02
This is a beautiful sunset.
Yeah, it is.
The stars are so nice.
It sure is.
Now where are we?
We're in hell. And could you stop kicking me? It's kinda annoying.

 

by ivirmcman
1-05-02
I think I'll give Asef a call...
Hello?
Hey, you wanna come over?
Gabe, I'm right here. You didn't have to call me.
......so......you wanna go smoke some weed?

 

by ivirmcman
1-07-02
Hey man, we should really start a gang.
We can call it the Penis Posse.
........
I'm going home.

 

by ivirmcman
1-07-02
Here's the average conversation Meghan and I have everyday.
I really like Joe.
Awww, that's really good to hear. It's nice that you found someone to like.
I hate Joe so much.
What? I thought you said you liked him?
The Moral of the story......MEGHAN CAN'T MAKE UP HER MIND!!
I love it when he kisses me.
....All right, well I'm gonna go put a gun in my mouth. I'll catch ya later.

 

by ivirmcman
1-07-02
I'm gonna kill you...
Put your gun down!!
How about you put your gun down.
Who is this??
Rick Davis.
Freeze Rick.

 

by ivirmcman
1-07-02
Hey what's up Derek, come on in.
Thanks Asef.
So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?
Listen man, I'm poor. I need to borrow some money.
Hey, how did I get out here?

 

by ivirmcman
1-17-02
Ladies and Gentlemen. Give it up for our stand up comedian for tonight...ASEF PANEZAI!!!
So this guy walks into a bar....
The moral of the story is this....I am a funny guy, but sometimes my jokes do bomb. Don't expect me to be funny 24/7. Screw you for judging me.
and then I bit him!!

 

by ivirmcman
1-26-02
I decide to call Chris
I think I'll give Chris a call...
He "claims" he can't hang out
Hey Chris, you wanna hang out?
um...nah man. I'm really tired right now.
Chris' girlfriend calls him
Hi Chris, you wanna go hang out?
Sure thing.

 

by ivirmcman
1-26-02
Little Jimmy is jerking off to computer porn.
Oh yeah...Oh God yeah!!
Oh man...I'm gonna blow my load.
Fuck, I just jacked all over the place.

 

by ivirmcman
1-26-02
Two average males debating who has the bigger dick...
I have a bigger cock than you do.
Prove it...
Here's my dick...
That's good, but it's not as good as mine.
What the fuck is that???
It's my dick you idiot. Don't you know a penis when you see one?

 

by ivirmcman
2-02-02
DIO has rocked us for a long time...one might say a little too long. He's going down mutha fucka.
DIO RULES!!!
The next day...
FUCK YOU DIO!!!
FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
...and DIO dies...
Got him...
I'm not dead yet...I'll be back. Just wait and see, DIO NEVER DIES!!! HAHAHA...haha...ha...um, now I'm dead.

 

by ivirmcman
2-18-02
Good old Big Dick Hanson, he's really good at making stuff up.
Throwdown got their name because they're so short that they can't throw up, so they throwdown.
yeah...ok Rich.
There's a pair of roller blades at Sports Authority for $30.
Rich, stop lying.
I just want someone to hold me, can you hold me?
.......no

 

by ivirmcman
3-01-02
Here's the average hockey game we have. Starting with a face off...
Someone getting hurt...
MAN DOWN!!!
And now the call for the substitute...
SUBSTITUTE!!!!

 

by ivirmcman
3-02-02
Ian Young - He's tall, lanky, and a bitch
Hey, what's up Ian?
What's up Ace. Hold up, my phone is ringing.
Ian's girlfriend calls him
Hey Sam, what's up?
Ian, stop hanging out with that Arabian and get your ass to my house.
Ian would rather hang out with his girlfriend than his friends. (he loves it when i say that)
All right Ace, I gotta go.
(wapeesh)

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