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latest comics from people jackjumps is following

Stop calling me that!
But, you are my daddy!
I know.
So, why don't you want me to call you daddy?
Because, we just got caught having sex!

My life SUCKS!!! My wife hates me!!! My kids hate me!!!! And, my job SUCKS!!!!!
I might as well just kill myself because NOBODY LOVES ME!!!
Hey, dad... Can you close the front door before you kill yourself? You're letting all the cold air out. Thanks.

by brycekain
Daddy, they're making up horrible accusations and stories about us having sex! And the jokes... OMG! What is wrong with these people?
Honey, they're just disgusting people that can't get past their own lack of moral compass.
So who said it? CNN? MSNBC? Fox News?
Strip Creator.

...and in some weird way, crossing that street brought me closer to God.
Unfortunately, joining a traveling porn troop a week later brought me even closer to Satan!
I guess I should have asked more questions when my agent said they were looking for a big white ****...

by edoggydog
Okay, Phreaky... I dressed up like a French beatnik to fulfill your sexual fantasy.
Now, to fulfill my fantasy, I want you to call me "daddy" during sex!
I can't do that... There's only one person I call daddy during sex.
My dad. Duh-uh!

Okay, Phreaky... I dressed up like a football player for your sex fantasy. Now, I have a request for you.
What's that?
You call me "daddy" while I'm ****ing you!
I can't do that... My three hundred pound father died from a heart attack while having sex. That event really traumatized me!
I know that losing a parent can be devastating... I guess I don't really know how you could have been traumatized by his death.
Because, it was two hours before the paramedics showed up and lifted my father's dead carcass off of me!

Hey, dad... What do you call a black man flying an airplane?
I don't know...
A pilot, you ****ing racist!
I ain't no racist... I voted for the nagger for president!
The fact that you call Obama the N-word proves you're a racist!
I was talking about Hillary Clinston, you stupid ****!

by atomiclunch
-with temperatures in the high 90's and a heat index of 1.2 million degrees-
*sigh* My meteorological minx, Maria... Wait, what?! I'd better go check on the guys, that's their neck of the woods!
Rags! I heard there was gonna be big heat today, thought I'd bring you guys some lemonade!
SSSSHHHHH!! I know. Now, c'mere and watch this! Also, you didn't have to fly all the way out here. The telephone DOES reach this part of the world, y'know!
Dammit, Ragu! It is NOT 72 and breezy out there!

by choadwarrior
Your house, it is very dirty.
You may have wondered why I called you here today.

by atomiclunch
How about a delicious corn dog, Horst?
Next thing I know, he's tearing the president's 1983 necktie off and whipping me with it. Then he shoved a microphone up my ass.
That reminds me, let's get that outta there and...
No, no. You can leave it tn...

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