people jes_lawson is following

andydougan, areallystupidguy, ArtemisStrong, atomiclunch, attitudechicka, attitudechicka2, Bargaintuan, Bazilla, BigEvilDan, boinky33, boorite, Brad, Chi_The_Cynic, choadwarrior, Choobychooby, christopher7murphy, crabby, DragonXero, Drexle, El_Phen, evil_d, ftc, Fuj, fuzzyman, gabe_billings, Inflatable_Man, israphael, itsclark, ivytheplant, KajunFirefly, kaufman, kramer_vs_kramer, ladyjdotnet, little_kitty, lukket, mandingo, max, MikeyG, mmyers, niteowl, ObiJo, Oriana, PhreakyChinchilla, Porternotes, Rabid_Weasle, RandomComicLayoutGuy, Scyess, smamurai, Smurph, TheBurnsUnit, TheGovernor, Tigerchild, Trippingbillee, umfumdisi, UnknownEric, wirthling, Zaster, Zegota, ZMannZilla


latest comics from people jes_lawson is following

by crabby
6-19-19
Wow. Already celebrating your one year anniversary. It's crazy how time just flies by when you're hard at work.
I've enjoyed my first year with the company. The work has been fulfilling and I really enjoy my coworkers.
Great. That's great. Anything else you'd like to share before we get into your review?
Not that I can think of right now. I've just really enjoyed working here.
Ok, I think you're doing awful and you're truly lucky to still be employed here. I'd fire you, but I'd rather not do the paper work. We're going to give you a 2.5% raise. Keep up the good work.
That's not what I was expecting at all.

by crabby
6-19-19
Excuse me ma'am, but my security cameras caught one of your kids going through my backyard and stealing my tomato plants. I don't want to call the police, but I would like some restitution.
Oh dear. Could you tell which of my children it was? Was it Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, or Evan?
I believe it was Evan, but you can check the cameras for yourself just to be sure.
I'm sorry this happened. I'd just like to be completely sure which child would do something so terrible.
Several minutes later after reviewing the tapes.
So which of your boys was it?
It was Carter.

by crabby
6-17-19
Have you seen my socks?
Have you checked your feet?
Wow! I don't know what I'd do without you babe.
I hate this planet.

by crabby
6-17-19
So I got Mom and Dad tickets to Medieval Times for their anniversary. If you could just chip $450 to cover your half then we can say it's from the both of us.
A night at Medival Times does not cost $450 for two people.
Oh! Well, I had a groupon.
Oh ok. That makes sense.
So yeah, you can give me cash or Cash App me or Pay Pal, but I won't take a check. Not after last time.
I just don't want to pay to have the corpses of my parents hauled off to a night at Medieval Times. They've been dead for 35 years, Karl. Move on.

"What are you doing for 'Show and Tell', Butch?"
I'm going to circumcise Gary, Miss Crabbynipple.
"Sounds dangerous... Do you have any experience in circumcision?"
None at all!
"How do you feel about that, Gary?"
Scared!
I'M GOING TO ACCIDENTLY CUT OFF YOUR ENTIRE PENIS IF YOU DON'T STOP SHAKING!!!!

Meanwhile, back on Planet You're-On-My-Bench-Fuck-You x3 WTF...
You're on my bench!
Fuck you!
You're on my bench!
Fuck you!
You're on my bench!
Fuck you!

Every evening, Crabby stands outside his home feeding his baby, waiting for his wife to return home from work...
Mommy will be coming home anytime, baby Ashley!
The sad part is his wife left him seven years ago!
Anytime now...
What's even sadder is his baby was stillborned seven years ago (which is coincidently why his wife left him!)
*sniff* Smells like you're overdue for a changing, baby Ashley!

Aaaahhhhhh...
There's nothing like scratching your ass crack on a table leg!
You know, we eat off that table!
You also eat out my butthole during sex, so what's your point?

by crabby
6-11-19
So tell me about a typical day at your current position.
I have no idea what that means.
What do you do at your current job.
Well, I show up and do my job.
Thank you for applying. We'll contact you if you're chosen for the next steps in the hiring process.
I look forward to hearing from you.

by crabby
6-11-19
So I was reviewing potential candidates on Indeed last night and I happened to come across your information. Are you looking for other jobs? Should I be concerned about you leaving your position?
I go on Indeed from time to time. Mainly to check to make sure my job isn't being posted. I don't want to be caught by surprise like what happened to my predecessor.
No one wants you replace you.
Then we have nothing to worry about. I merely keep an updated resume on file if it's ever needed.
We're going to have to let you go. We can't have a Production Supervisor that isn't dedicated to the role. We'd like you to stay onboard for up to another six months as part of our transition process.
Oh wow! Well, I've been looking for a new job so we'll see how long it takes me to find one and then you can go **** yourself.

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