people kaufman is following

allenhenderson, andydougan, apejuice, attitudechicka, BigEvilDan, biped, Blew_Crabs, boinky33, bonwag, boorite, Buffylavalamp, chickenhole, Chi_The_Cynic, choadwarrior, CHUBBY, Cobb, crabby, DeeJay, deucepm, DexX, Drexle, eponine, evil_d, fpd, fuzzyman, gabe_billings, il_schmucko, Inflatable_Man, israphael, itsclark, ivytheplant, jes_lawson, jmtapp, KajunFirefly, Kevin_Keegans_Perm, kramer_vs_kramer, ladyjdotnet, mandingo, MikeyG, misterq, mmyers, Namgubed, naz_ghul, not_Scyess, ObiJo, Organizm, pita, pyster, Samwise, Scyess, Spankling, speedboat_lou, subject2002, TheGovernor, TimmyThePervert, umfumdisi, wirthling

latest comics from people kaufman is following

by Namgubed
Guess what? Dr. Tony Fauci is making a guest appearance on Sesame Street!
Yes, why waste a perfect opportunity to indoctrinate the children?
He's giving Oscar the Grouch a Social Distancing Award with the honorary title of Dr. Grauci ! And then tomorrow -
Wait, let me guess: Ernie and Birx?
Wow, how did you -
See 'em coming a mile away.

by Namgubed
Meanwhile, in the heart of NYC...
Mayor DiBlasio! The refrigerator trucks with all the corpses are running out of Freon!
Quick, take about a thousand ventilators and keep 'em cool!
Mr. Mayor, all the take-out pizza joints are out of Italian sausage!
Quick, set up a wet market in China town!
Sure enough ...

by choadwarrior
I just want to let you all know I've come down with a cough so I will be self-isolating...
I'm sure this is probably just a cold, so I don't want anyone referring to me using the C-Word...
I also don't want any rumors starting that I have Coronavirus.

by evil_d
Hello? Do I know you?
I'm Shirley Jones. We went to kindergarten together?
Oh my god, Shirley? We used to race each other to the swingset as soon as recess started? This is incredible! What have you been up to?
Oh, not too bad, you know! Married my high school sweetheart and now we run a B&B in Niagara Falls!
That's wonderful! Wow, what a trip! But what brings you here today?
Well, I just wanted to let you know about the crucial steps we've taken to ensure the safety of our customers and employees during the COVID-19 pandemic....

by biped
Hello, may I speak to a Mr. Clifton J. Cornwall?
I'm sorry, there's no one here by that name.
Oh well...I guess I dialed the wrong number then.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I suppose I should point out that you don't have to see all the rolls of toilet paper in a COSTCO customer's cart to know they don't get enough fiber in their diet.
by choadwarrior, 3-14-20

by Namgubed
Meanwhile, back at the Oval Office ...
Thank you for tuning in to my corona virus address! First, we'll have a statement from the World Health Organization ...
To be followed by a report from the World Health Action Team, which has done a spectacular job, that I can tell you...
And then a brief summary from the International Department Of Non-Tyrannical Kingdoms Newly Opposing Warfare...

by Namgubed
Woof! Woof woof!!
Y'know, I really don't appreciate your terrier-than-thou attitude!
Telegram for Father McPheely!
Y'know, I really don't appreciate your courier-than-thou attitude!
Parts of the Pacific Northwest are considered to be a rainforest.
Y'know, I really don't appreciate your Ranier-than-thou attitude!

by Namgubed
Hey, why are all my African American students absent today?
I think they're out demonstrating for school vouchers.
Well, there's a gaping hole in my attendance!
Well, you know what they say ...
"We don't need no education?"
No darks are chasms in the classroom!

by Namgubed
Wanna buy a watch? Even better than a Rolex!
Y'know, I really don't appreciate your Cartier-than-thou attitude!
I can't believe how refreshing this mineral water is!
Y'know, I really don't appreciate your Perrier-than-thou attitude!
Check out the great support I get from this girdle!
Y'know, I really DO appreciate your bustier-than-thou attitude!

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