people kaufman is following

allenhenderson, andydougan, apejuice, attitudechicka, BigEvilDan, biped, Blew_Crabs, boinky33, bonwag, boorite, Buffylavalamp, chickenhole, Chi_The_Cynic, choadwarrior, CHUBBY, Cobb, crabby, DeeJay, deucepm, DexX, Drexle, eponine, evil_d, fpd, fuzzyman, gabe_billings, il_schmucko, Inflatable_Man, israphael, itsclark, ivytheplant, jes_lawson, jmtapp, KajunFirefly, Kevin_Keegans_Perm, kramer_vs_kramer, ladyjdotnet, mandingo, MikeyG, misterq, mmyers, Namgubed, naz_ghul, not_Scyess, ObiJo, Organizm, pita, pyster, Samwise, Scyess, Spankling, speedboat_lou, subject2002, TheGovernor, TimmyThePervert, umfumdisi, wirthling


latest comics from people kaufman is following

by evil_d
9-12-18
Harold Jefferson, you died of a heart attack at 3:07 this morning. It is time for your soul to be weighed.
You don't look like God.
You've never seen God; only pictures drawn by humans. Now, it says here that you merged in front of another driver and then slowed down a grand total of 1,683 times?
I'd like you to balance that against the fact that I always tipped the Girl Scouts a dollar extra when I bought cookies.
It doesn't count if you try to stuff it in their bras. C'mon, lava pools are this way.

by choadwarrior
9-09-18
Have a blessed day!
What?
I said, “Have a blessed day.”
Okay.
You’re supposed to bless me back.
It only works when you believe.

by choadwarrior
8-17-18
There's a good taco shop down the street you should try.
Is it authentic?
Very.
Is it next door to a payday loan and check cashing business?
No.
You don't know what the **** you are talking about.

by bonwag
7-27-18
How did the job interview go?
Great! I'm a short order cook starting Monday
A short order cook? Isn't that a kind of.. odd career choice for you?
What are you saying?
Nothing! It's just.. aren't you,....
I don't see why my religion is relevant

by evil_d
7-17-18
Putin told me that he didn't interfere with our elections, and I believe him. That should be all there is to it!
I tell my wives I'll stay with them and they believe me. I tell banks I'll pay them back and they believe me.
For more on this philosophy, read my new book, Your Life Will Be Better If You Believe What I Tell You.

by choadwarrior
7-14-18
How has your first week been?
I really like everyone, but I’ve noticed one thing.
What’s that?
Nobody swears.
We don’t do that here.
I’d better watch my ****ing mouth.

by choadwarrior
7-08-18
Carnac the Magnificent will now use his borderline divine ways to determine the answer to the question in this hermetically sealed envelope.
OB-GYN.
OB-GYN!
OB-GYN.
And now open the envelope and reveal the question.
Where should you go after an ORGY?

by choadwarrior
7-07-18
Are you a coffee drinker?
I'm a coffee snob. I weigh my beans, use a burr grinder for consistency and have a temperature-controlled kettle for my pourovers.
I love coffee too. I stop at Starbucks every morning.
I see. Well, do you know where I can get a great cup of coffee around here?
There's a Keurig in the break room.
I don't think we're going to get along.

by choadwarrior
7-01-18
Is everything okay with your room>
Well, I would compare it to a ****hole...
But mine is much, much nicer.

by choadwarrior
6-16-18
Your house, it is very dirty.
You may have wondered why I called you here today.

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