people kelly_midnight is following

baba, crickets, kramer_vs_kramer, maxawa


latest comics from people kelly_midnight is following

Kramer, your comics are ****!
My comics aren't ****. I'm just using "alternative jokes".
Okay, this comic is ****.

by kramer_vs_kramer
11-23-16
Stop, thief! Get out of my house!
I'm not a thief, I'm an alt-shopper.
Oh, that's okay then. Carry on.
Hang on a minute...

Hello children! Today on story time I'm going to read you a fun book about camping.
Psst! Mr Rogers!
What is it?
That's the wrong book. It's not about camping.
Are you sure? It says right here- "Mein Kampf"

I have something to tell you. I'm dying...
To have sex with you!
But seriously, I've got AIDS.

Hey, what did you have for dinner last night? I made myself a vegan lasagne.
That sounds great! You'll have to give me the recipe some time.
I don't think you heard me correctly. It was a vegan lasagne. It didn't contain any animal products at all. Aren't you going to tell me how weird I am for eating that?
No, that actually sounds quite nice.
You're kind of a ****ty friend.

Hey, haven't seen you for a while. What have you been up to?
I've been working on my new comic strip about how people are being really rude to me now I'm a vegan.
You're a vegan? That's cool. I've been trying to eat more healthily too. So how's the comic strip going?
I ****ed your wife last night.
You little ****! I aught to rip your arms off.
Comic's going great, thanks.

by kramer_vs_kramer
10-01-15
Doctor! I need help keeping an erection up.
Oh, that's easy. These pills will help you out.
Later...
At least fifty people are believed to have been killed when a large amount of scaffolding collapsed and crushed them.
That was all your fault.

Doc, I need some fake tits. Big pendulous bangers! Juicy whoppers! Spectacular jugs! Massive bosoms!
Well, it's rare. but you're not the first man to ask for breast implants.
Oh, they're not for me. I'd like you to put them on my couch.
Your couch? I'll see what I can do.
You've spent all your money in the pub again? I hope you enjoy sleeping on the couch, mister!
Well, actually...

No, that's it. A backstreet abortion isn't for me. I'm going to keep my baby.
Suit yourself. The deposit is non-refundable though.
That's okay, you can keep the ten dollars. I've learned an important lesson today about the value of life. Have a nice day!
I agree, life is important. Within every child lies the potential to do great things. They may create a masterpiece, or cure a disease, or invent something amazing. I wish you all the best.
Next!

You know, I'm having second thoughts about this backstreet abortion.
Are you sure? You'd be missing out on the loyalty scheme.
Loyalty scheme?
For every ten abortions you get a free cup of coffee.
Has anyone ever taken you up on the offer?
To be honest, nobody survives the first one. I'm starting to think the coffee machine was a bad investment.

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