I don't understand. If you hate everything so much, why are you helping me save the world?
I want this film to do better than that cunt Potter's. So I figured I'd hijack it. I kidnapped that beardy twat Gandalf and took his place.
You mean you're not Gandalf?
Hell no. Gandalf was supposed to take you up some boring fucking mountain. I figured this film'd be better if I took you to titty bars and blew shit up.
But the fate of Middle Earth is at stake!
Listen, shortarse, I'm getting sick of your fucking moaning? You'd rather save the world than see tits? Are you some kind of fucking homo faggot boy?
