people kramer_vs_kramer is following

allenhenderson, boorite, crabby, ObiJo, TEDA

latest comics from people kramer_vs_kramer is following

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by crabby
Carlos you have been doing a fine job. You've really been tackling your responsibilites head on and I appreciate that in my Junior Director.
Thank you! It really means a lot to hear some praise from anyone. It's the first time I've been payed a compliment in 4 years.
GOTCHA! The thing with being a Junior Director is that you need to be humble. Don't lord your status over anyone. That's why it's important to remember to be humble when receiving a compliment.
So you don't think I'm doing a good job?
Who's to say. I can tell you one thing. You did a horrible job of taking that compliment. I'm actually going to note it so I can bring it up in your yearly review.
I will do my best to be more humble in the future.

by crabby
For this review we're jsut two guys sitting here discussing work. Think of me like your buddy you'd be talking to in a bar. Don't be afraid to tell me exactly how you feel.
I think your company is poorly run. You put people in charge based on either their relation to you or the fact that they attend your church. You're going to start losing employees if this continues.
I appreciate those comments. I really do, but I'm not here to discuss other people. I want hear about you. Tell me how Carlos Henteria Boyd III can help this company grow and reach their goals in 2014
I've been here 4 years now. I feel I have proven my worth at every turn. I have succeeded at every opportunity and I was put into a junior management role to grow into a management role.
What are you saying?
I want to be your new Junior Director Vice Counselor of Operations.

by crabby
Davidson, you seem disgruntled lately. If this is about the 2% pay decrease you've been forced to take on, I want you to know I understand your pain.
With all due respect it has become common knowledge that while the lower management teams have taken a 2% cut that the middle management teams actually received 4% bonuses.
I would be lieing if I said that was a lie, however, it does not change the truth and I'm sorry you take these occurences personally.
Is there any chance we could work out something else? Perhaps oral sex?
Excuse me? The best I can offer is that the company will reimburse you 20% on all purchases of new work slacks. Just give your receipts from approved vendors to Deneen in accounting.

by crabby
Tomorrow is my three month evaluation. It brings an end to my internship period and if the company chooses to bring me on full time I'll be eligible for a 4% raise and finally have health benefits.
Benjamin. As you know when you signed your introductory period papaerwork upon employment we resertve the right to let any persons go at any time for any reason during our evaluation period.
With that being said, we wish you the best on your future endeavors. I will be escorting you out of the building and to the parking lot. Please grab your things.

by crabby
One of the robot lines is down. I've alerted the field lead who in turn reported the issue to the director of operations.
So... How will we make robots in the mean time? We need 1600 robots to ship to Finland by the end of the week? How much loss are we looking at from a down line?
Depends on the exact nature of the problem. We'll have to wait for the field service team to call in and try to diagnosis the issue first. I'm just a line worker.
Have you reported this to the field lead?
I have. He then reported it to the director of operations. The director of operations is getting in touch with the OEM's field service team to diagnose the issue.

by crabby
I've never been very comfortable with the idea of anyone doing a movie based on my life.
I do NOT give permission for my story to be told through the means of film, novel, etc., etc., etc.

by crabby
Give it to me straight, Leon. Company morale is in the ****ter. What do I do to fix it?
The coffee machine broke in the cafeteria 3 months ago. I've been telling you this for 3 months now.
I don't need to hear about the coffee maker, Leon. Tell me how to fix morale!
Fixing the coffee maker will fix the morale issue.
Well, prove a worthwhile business case to me by next thursday and I'll try and see if I can get it approved. Thanks for the talk, Leon.
A business case? I work in shipping.

by crabby
There was a time I never would have even considered living in the suburbs. You'd have to be out of your gourd! I need vintage thrift stores! I need vintage vinyl within a 10 block radius!
So what made you change your mind?
Nothing. I moved to the forest.
This forest is just a small wooded area inside of the gated community you live in.
I'm old and cranky. I'm not stupid! I don't need you coming into my forest and telling me the ways of the world and the birds and the bees. What do you know about life?

by crabby
Dr. Bacon... Give it to me straight. Will my **** work?
Billy, what if I told you that everything is part of something, but in the end nothing really matters?
Are you trying to distract me from a broken **** with an existential crisis?
I'm not going to lie to you Phillip. Your **** won't be great.
LOL! Fuck you, Dr. Bacon!

by crabby, 7-17-12

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