people kramer_vs_kramer is following

allenhenderson, boorite, crabby, ObiJo, TEDA


latest comics from people kramer_vs_kramer is following

page 2

by crabby
3-02-12
I received a page at my desk saying the police were requesting my presence in the lounge. You wanted to ask me a few questions?
Your name is Kim? You wanna explain that to me?
My name is Ken Kim.
Ken Kim? Ken Kim? You some type of North Korean?
South Korean.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

by crabby
3-02-12
I work here officer!
Mmmmmmhmmmm... I'm gonna need to see some I.D. and get a blood, urine and hair sample.
I've worked for this company, 26 years! I'm a senior engineer.
You calling me racist? You think I just came here to **** with you because you're a black man?
Yes. That is what I think.
Shut your mouth, old man!

by crabby
2-29-12
Dad, do you remember when I was young and I slipped and fell at Niagra Falls and you met that woman and we moved to Canada for 8 years?
Yeah.
Those were the worst years of my life. I was actually molested by our neighbor and I know you lied to me about running over Sir Chuckles.
Phil Peterson molested you?
I lied. I just wanted you to finally admit you ran over my dog.
Fine, I ran over your damn dog. Here's another secret, Phil Peterson was my lover and he used to brag about a teen boy he was ****ing on the side. If that was you drop trow now and let's do this.

by crabby
2-28-12
Bill, I've been looking for you around the office all morning. Have you emailed Andy over in the UK about getting that P.O. in so we can ship that system out this afternoon?
I actually just got into the office. It's about 7:59 on a Monday and I'm just settling in. I'll make sure to get to that right away for you.
Look, Bill. I'm sorry if I came at you a bit strong, but as the youngest team leader in the office I often feel like I need to assert myself a little more to get my point across.
Here's the thing, "Tom." I've worked for this company going on 12 years now. I used to write handwritten letters to Andy in the UK asking him about how his family was doing. We're Friends!
So can you CC me in that email?
YOU CAN CC YOUR WAY OUT OF MY DAMN CUBE!

by crabby
2-28-12
Look, Ma. I can get you a job, but I can't promote you up the company too fast. It would... Look bad. Nepotism. You know, the other workers might get upset.
You put your own mother in the mail room, Rodger? You make me sick. The only reason I even need this job is because I'm saving up to get your sister Jeanniene's son's wife that breast implant.
Look, Ma. That lopsided breast issue with Jeanniene's son's wife's boobs has been bothering us all. That's why I got her a job as receptionist.
Then why am I working in the mail room?
Look, Ma. I got you a job, but I can't promote you up the company too fast. It would... Look bad. Nepotism. You know, the other workers might get upset! That's why your in the mailroom.
You put your own mother in the mail room, Rodger? You make me sick. The only reason I even need this job is because I'm saving up to get your sister Jeanniene's son's wife that breast implant.

by crabby
1-10-12
Brill, I'm going to level with you. This is a young upstart company with headquarters in the middle of the ghetto. I can't give you a raise, but I'm going to name you Production Manager! Congrats!
Thank you! Thank you so much! This is so unexpected... Thank you for your trust in me.
Brill, we've been working together for awhile now and I've always trusted you. I'm going to be honest, I can't afford to give you a raise, HOWEVER, I do want to name you my new Director of Operations!
I was really hoping for a raise...
****! I'VE RUN OUT OF TITLES TO GIVE BRILL! I NEED YOU TO KILL HIM ASAP!
I've got the perfect title for Brill... Deceased.

by boorite
1-10-12
OOH BABY I LOVE YOUR WHEY, EVERY DAY
WANNA TELL YOU I LOVE YOUR WHEY, EVERY DAY
WANNA SMEAR IT ON MY TOUPEE

by crabby
12-23-10
Dad, you promised you'd buy me my own pants for school this year.
Son, we're poor. It's a recession. You have to wear hand me down trousers from your brother.
HIS HAND ME DOWNS ARE HAND ME DOWNS FROM YOU!
Why are you yelling? Are you too good to wear my hand me downs?
I just wanted my own pants is all.
Oh, you silly *******!

by crabby
11-24-10
I got a letter here from my dinosaur. Apparently my tests came back and it isn't good.
What do the results say?
I'm... Not sure. It's all in dinosaur.
Then how do you know it doesn't look good?
HE DREW A ****ING FROWNING FACE, WOMAN! GET OFF MY BACK!

by crabby
10-29-10
The following tale does not take place in the year 463.
I can't feed you plant. I have to hurry and enter kaufman's comic contest before it's too late.
You're a fool. Only one person understands the rules to this contest and he's sitting all alone waiting 3 months to come back and judge anyways.
You're never alone when you're holding a precious little angel!
So... Do you think you could explain the rules to me?
No. I really don't have a ****ing clue what is going on and furthermore I'm leaving forever.

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