people lostowl is following

Dreamercat, fcr


latest comics from people lostowl is following

by Dreamercat
2-23-05
My girlfreind's ex recently moved into the dorm I live in. I've been actively avoiding him.
Wait a minute, why am I avoiding him? I was here first. Yeah! He's the one who should be avoiding me!
!!!
Don't be bitter that I'm better for your girl, Fucker! If you've got a problem with me, you should have thought about that before you moved in!
I've got to work on my "Not Out Loud" voice.
What the hell, man? I don't even know you!
Oh sorry, well if you see him could you tell him that for me?

by Dreamercat
12-16-04
I've started producing a short segment for the college TV station, so I've assembled a thinktank crew: Craig, the movie-man.
We should so spoof the 'Grudge' movie!
I dunno, not many people have seen it yet...
Alex, the theatre commedian.
... and then I could come in playing the zombie prince!
Zombies have princes?
And Bobic, the resident *******.
Wow, I've never heard so many crappy ideas. I've got ideas I write down drunk that are funnier than this garbage!
Thanks for your input.

by Dreamercat
6-04-04
I passed out in the bathtub last week and almost died. My freind Gloria was in my room at the time...
Damn, that hurt. I think I'm still bleeding in my mouth...
Oh, how was your bath?
Can't say it went too well. Say, did you hear anything while I was in there?
Yeah, i heard some kind of loud thud.
I'd call her a *****, but that would imply she's related to Lassie, which she clearly is not.
Well, I don't know, did it sound maybe like a BODY HITTING THE BATHTUB?
Yeah, it did. By the way, are you allright?

by Dreamercat
5-19-04
And now, a look at the inner CPU of DreamerCat's mind. Six months ago:
You know, we should get together to study for the history final.
Status: aquantance. Potential for further development: unlikely. All hormone systems in check.
Two months ago:
I really enjoy hanging out with you. We should meet up again.
Status: Freind. Potential for further development: likely. All hormone systems in balance.
Last week:
I... I love you...
Error! Error! Error!

by fcr
9-06-03
A few months ago in Iraq ... meanwhile, at the White House ...
I'm thrilled to be here in the bread basket of America because it gives me a chance to remind our fellow citizens that we have an advantage here in America - we can feed ourselves.
Okay, good George. Something doesn't quite sound right, but it's alright. You're going to be on in less than five minutes so what can we do, right?
There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
George, no, that's not, just, PLEASE don't say that in front of anyone. OKAY, It's go time here, time to get this war on mr. president. What makes you the best commander in chief in history?
Ladies and Gentlemen, a big round of applause for George. You can't make this stuff up! -fcr
Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like.
*sigh* yeah, that's great george, way to rally the troops there. ARI FIX ME A DAMNED DRINK AND QUICK LIKE WILL YA'?

by fcr
9-06-03
A few months ago in Iraq ... meanwhile, at the White House ...
Okay, we're almost done George. Tomorrow's the big day. We didn't have time to go over reconstruction plans, but that's okay. Now, a lunkhead asks you, "is the country united?" You say--
I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will.
No, no George, that's not--hhhh--well, it'll have to do. OKAY, a lunkhead asks you, "Mr. President, what does the war on terror have to do with Saddam Hussein?" You say--
The war on terror involves Saddim Hussein because of the nature of Saddim Hussein, the history of Saddim Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.
Again, these are honest to gosh George quotes. 2 Days of things the President ACTUALLY SAID! -fcr
*sigh* George you weren't suppossed to eat any special cookies until AFTER the War Speech. What are the American people going to think if you talk a lot of gibberish on the TV, hmm?
I think the American people - I hope the American - I don't think, let me - I hope the American people trust me.

by fcr
9-05-03
A few months ago in Iraq ... meanwhile, at the White House ...
The security of the world requires disarming Saddim Hussein now.
Good, that's good George, very relaxed, very off script, you're well on your way to earning a cookie and your XBox privledges back ... now, some media lunkhead says, "Why now Mr. President?" You say--
Eye-Rack has a history of reckless aggression in the Middle East. It has a deep hatred of America and our friends and it has aided, trained and harbored terrorists, including operatives of El Kai-duh.
GEORGE! George, I can't believe it! You are WELL on your way to earning a WEEK of Cable TV, Mr. President! Now, some lunkhead asks you, "What about letting the U.N. help in Iraq?"
George really said all this stuff! Can you believe it? -fcr
The U.N. will definitely need to have a role. And that way it can begin to get its legs, legs of responsibility back.
AH, DAMNIT ARI, you were't supposed to let George eat pretzels today if he didn't study. What do you mean he sniffed glue? CAN'T YOU TAKE CARE OF GEORGE FOR JUST ONE DAY WITHOUT ME ?

by fcr
9-03-03
A few months ago in Iraq ... meanwhile, at the White House ...
Ah, Dick, I been listenin' to what you and Donnie, and Paulie and Colinie and Condi and my friggin' DAD and everyone wants to do except for me, y'know, and it ain't fair!
George, we've GOT to get some work done. We haven't even gone over the plans yet for the Iraqi reconstruction and it's important that--
OH, it's all about YOU, isn't it, and your plans and your "start the war NOW!" and "we've got contracts" and "don't tell the press about the deals" and blah blah blah! WHAT DO I GET OUTTA THIS?
*sigh* Fine, we'll get Jeff Goldblum to stay at the White House to be your new bestest genius friend ever.
YES! We can go to a weapons site, and we'll find Saddim's spaceships, and Jeff'll be like, "Remove the clamps!" and I can be like "Let's do it!" and BUDDABUDDABUDDABUDDA TAKE THAT ALIENS! I RULE!
Hey, ARI! Yeah, I'm lookin' at you--no more damned Independence Day for the President before he's had his nap! Yes, I'm blaming you. Oh, okay, well if I go down you go down punk, how you like that?

by fcr
9-02-03
A few months ago in Iraq ... meanwhile, at the White House ...
George, my secret compound just received a report of noises in the Oval Office so I came by to check it out. Were you running around with your hands out making airplane noises again?
--I JUST GOT DONE WATCHING THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER WHICH IS INDEPENDENCE DAY WHERE THE PRESIDENT GETS TO KICK ALIEN BE-HINDS ALL MOVIE! RREENYOWR BLAM BLAM! Hi five Will Smith for bein' jiggy wit' it!
Yes he did, George. But you aren't supposed to be having play time, you're supposed to be studying up on the upcoming IRAQ WAR and--
WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE GREATEST IDEAR EVER DICK which is that I should go fly around in Iraq and go bomb things and go get Saddim with some BRRRNNNEEERYOWR-RATTATATTATTA just like Bill Pullman!!!
*sigh* George, that's not a good idea for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that it might bring up your Vietnam record and--
Vietnam? I wasn't in Vietnam Dick! I skipped out on that stuff and was boozin' it up on the campaign trail with my dad! What the hiz-ell are you talkin' 'bout suckuh?

by fcr
8-31-03
A few months ago in Iraq ... meanwhile, at the White House ...
... okay George, you're good and rehearsed, let's go over what we learned. Some media lunkhead asks you, "When are we going to attack Iraq?" and you say--
I've not made up our mind about military action.
Which is crap, but is EXACTLY what you gotta say. Great George! But you SHOULD say, "I've not made up MY mind about military action." Because you're the one calling the shots and--
But Dick, you and Donnie and Tommy and Condi and Colinie and the gang are still gonna be tellin' me how to think about what to think about, so I gotta give props to my peeps, yo. It's OUR mind--DICK!
Don't kill him, it's just a year, plus an election, and you'll have enough money to buy that Island in the south seas and just kiss this all goo-BYE!
Have you heard that new fitty cent album? BUMP BUMP--I LUV YOU LIKE A FAT KID LUVS CAKE BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP! FREAKY DICKY GET HIS FREAK ON IN IRAQ! WE GONNA BUST A WHACK IN IRAQ YO! Gettin' jiggy!

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