people mutsje2000 is following

backseat, Darren, DexX, Halien, justcuz, kaufman, kramer_vs_kramer, ObiJo, Paxachu, TheRooGurl, ThunderAngel, wirthling


latest comics from people mutsje2000 is following

by kaufman
6-10-19
Do you have any fours?
Go Fish!

by kaufman
3-28-19
Welcome to Disney World, the HAPPYest place on earth. We're proud to have you here, Ted.
Wait a minute, that's my line.
Huh?
I'm Walt Disney, and you're Ted Williams. And I'd like to welcome YOU here.
Oh, sorry, Walt. Brain freeze, I guess.

tahT !dwag ym hO ym detalfed nhoj !stnalpmi
Oh my gawd! That john deflated my implants!
by kaufman, 2-23-19

by kaufman
2-13-19
This episode was scheduled to air on November 24, 1963.
Arf! Arf Arf. Rrrrruff!
What's that, Lassie?
Arf Arf Arf. Rarararrr!
Timmy stole a rifle from my gun cabinet and hooked the trigger to a timer?
For some reason, CBS never broadcast it, and destroyed the tapes
Ruff rufff! RRRRRarrrf!
And went to Texas and left it on a grassy knoll, ready to go off midday Friday? I'm going to have to have a talk with that boy.

by kaufman
2-10-19
Huh?
Wait a minute!
You're not wearing a bunny suit. Does that mean that you don't need to wear one to keep the aliens from making you want to kill yourself?
And you're not wearing a clown suit. I was going to ask you the same thing. I think we've been had.
Hey, do you think we ought to tell the blindfolded family over there that there's really nothing to worry about?
Naaaaaaah.

by kaufman
1-22-19
Spock! I just heard this contest is going to be decided by a random number generator! I need to know a lucky number so we can win.
Captain, with all due respect, it is illogical to think of numbers as lucky. Besides, I am quite busy right now. Dr. McCoy asked me to improve a Christmas song.
Well, is there a number in that song I can use or something?
Very well, Captain. The number is 5,878,625,373,183.6
Five trillion, eight hundred what? What the hell carol is that from?
On the 5,878,625,373,183.6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 5,878,625,373,183.6 miles in a light year, 5,878,...

by kaufman
9-24-18
I told you to mop the mess hall. What do you think you're doing? ----------------------- I'm only sleeping.
*sigh*
That's the seventh comic in this Beatle Bailey collection that had that exact punch line.

by kaufman
9-07-18
Did you hear? The news reported this afternoon that Tom Jones died.
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that. I always thought he was so hot.
Me too. He always put so much into his singing.
By the way, do you know if he's going to be cremated?
I have no idea. Why?
Well, I have to know whether to bury my underwear or burn it.

by kaufman
8-17-18
Oh good, Rodney Dangerfield's coming on.
It's nice having a lot of money. I went out and bought a jukebox last month.
I tell you, it works great. Unless I request an Aretha Franklin song, that is. Then it plays nothing and eats my quarter.
I tell you, I don't get no Respect.

by kaufman
7-25-18
Yesterday
Last week I got the best job in the world! I'm a short order cook.
Best job in the world? What's so good about it?
I don't have to do anything! I just sit around all day and get paid for it.
Today
Hey, you look beat. How's work?
Awful. You know that remake of The Wizard of Oz they're making in town? A hundred ****ing munchkins came into our place to eat today.

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