people niteowl is following

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latest comics from people niteowl is following

by jes_lawson
7-29-15
Good evening Madam President! Here are ten amazing locations I've hidden a bomb you won't believe! Mwahaha!
tl;dr
Damn you! My one weakness! Fine, they're all under the Washington Monument.
I've seen stuff on the Disney website more threatening than you, Dr. Clickbait. Give it up and quit calling!
Sorry I'm late, had to wash my hands! Now, what can OCD Man do to save the day?
Follow me, you can make sure the furniture in the Oval Office is all perfectly straight.

by jes_lawson
7-28-15
Help! Someone save me!
Stick em up, lady! Hand over your purse and you don't get shot!
One!
CLICK
Two!

by jes_lawson
7-28-15
Time passes... CLICK
Sixteen! Light switches are good. OCD Man is ready for action!
Shit, wait! I forgot to clean the oven again!

by jes_lawson
7-28-15
CLICK
Three!
CLICK
Four!
Help! Anyone! Quickly!
Shut it lady, gimme your purse! I'm not ****ing around here!

by jes_lawson
7-28-15
Well that was tragic, but we'll keep going with the slogan.
I'll get Chen to test it in the U.K!
Share a Coke with Lord Sewel!
Don't mind if I do!
Shortly...
If you'll come with me to the station, sir?
This is getting ridiculous.

by jes_lawson
7-28-15
Coca-Cola HQ.
We need a new slogan to appeal to celebrities who use our product.
How about... share a Coke with (name)? We'll get Chen to test it!
6 months ago...
Share a Coke, Bobbi?
Don't mind if I do!
That wasn't the kind I had in mind!

by evil_d
7-25-15
I'm concerned about your oral health. You should really consider dentures.
Don't give me none a' that.
If you was supposed to have more than two of 'em, they'd call it a threeth.

by evil_d
7-22-15
♪ Ocean crime, yeah the pickin's easy / We sailed the Purple Ostrich up to N.Y.C. / All the lubbers on the coast will agree that we're ♫
♪ Well qualified to pillage, plunder, ****, and steal / See, we be buccaneers / Rum in the kegs, and the bones of our dead lie underwater ♫
♪ Weebles, I opened up the chest and there's Weebles / Most definitely. ♫
♪ Weebles, a hundred ten thousand damn Weebles / Just count 'em and see. ♫
♪ This treasure... is getting odder... / Gonna kidnap the... governor's daughter... ♫
♪ Me and my mates / We're comin' aboard yer ship (x4) / (refrain)

by evil_d
7-22-15
♪ Summer time, and I'm with me hearties / We sailed the Purple Ostrich out of New Orleans / All the lubbers in the Gulf will agree that we're ♫
♪ Well qualified to pillage, plunder, ****, and steal / See, we be privateers / We drink rum on the islands, and dance with the wenches, hit the water ♫
♪ Me and my mates, we're comin' aboard yer ship / Got scurvy so bad, but we're takin' yer **** ♫
♪ Can't keep us in the penitentiary / We raise cannon at the walls and when the dust clears, we be back at sea / (refrain)
♪ Some gold doubloons be a mighty prize / The Jolly Roger terrifies! ♫
♪ Oh what're we gonna do wi' a drunken mate, but send 'im up ta the nest / Until he spies a treasure chest ♫

by choadwarrior
7-22-15
Finally, you are ready. We're late.
Why must Middle Eastern men insist on their women covering themselves from head to toe?
Because of other men.
You are afraid they will leer at me sexually?
No, I'm afraid they'll make fun of my ugly wife.

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