people niteowl is following

AccentuateNegative, allenhenderson, areallystupidguy, AtheistDiary, attitudechicka, BigFrank105, boinky33, boloboffin, boorite, Braze, catmanjag, choadwarrior, cock, coldpizza, CowTipper, cpausti, darkneuro, DexX, DragonXero, Drefsab, Eradream, EvilZak, evil_d, Ewwwww, Externalization, fizzyxl, ftc, fuck, Fuj, habnem, Hatrix, HCRoyall, HotRodDeathToll, il_schmucko, Inflatable_Man, ivytheplant, Jeanster, jes_lawson, kaiobrien, kattheworld, knkx, KungChiFu, len, little_kitty, LuckyGuess, lukket, mandingo, Matchbook_Romance, matclarke, Melkor, MikeyG, mmyers, NastyPope, NooniePuuBunny, nuveeeeena, ObiJo, OmniMarconi67, Ozz, PhreakyChinchilla, pslock, psycoma, r2_d2, Rabid_Weasle, Ranger77, RedfeatheR, Smarmulus, squidrabies, stormcloud, Tasty, tau926, TheGovernor, The_Witch, thochaos, Tigerchild, Trace, umfumdisi, UnknownEric, Xion, Xuanwu, Zaster, zegonsn

latest comics from people niteowl is following

by evil_d
My son is five years old now, and let you tell you, I'm having some real trouble with his PENIS.
I'm sorry, his...?
PENIS! Stands for Pre-Education Necessary Information Survey. I have to fill it out before he can start kindergarten.
That's terrible.
You're telling me! And if you think my son's PENIS is hard, you should have seen my daughter's!

by evil_d
Go get the rocket launcher; it's right around that corner. There's nobody there.
>KABOOM!!< You are dead.
WHAT?? That guy was not there before! He's hacking the game! Dude, tell him his mom's a *****. I checked her file and she totally is.
yor mom = *****
Jim, you're the worst guardian angel ever. Clean out your desk.
Your mom's a *****!

by TheGovernor
Whenever anyone tells me how impossibly old their pet is, the cynic in me always starts to wonder...
My cat Mittens is great, she's 23 years old and still going, Im guessing in cat years that's a lot
I bet she acted a little different after you came back from Summer camp about twelve years ago?
I ran over the cat on the driveway Martha, I didn't see it. What will we tell Alice? She's due back next Sunday
I'll find the number for the pet store, you measure it, take a photo, and then bury the corpse in the back yard under the rosebush.
Now that you mention it, she was kind of aloof for a while, wait how did you know I went to summer camp when I was little?
Just a hunch

by HCRoyall
To be, or not to be--that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them.
5 AM
To die, to sleep-- No more--and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished.
5:45 AM
To die, to sleep-- To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause.
Oh my ****ing God all right already I will feed you!

I have an internal hemorrhoid, sooo none of that for a little while.
That's okay.
You don't mind?
You should know by now, I love you for what's on the outside.

by RedfeatheR
I'm hoooome and you would NOT believe the DAY I've had!
I'm in here...
This is too weird... I'm not quite sure what to believe. I'm tired of waiting and not asking and you not saying............. It stopped being funny years ago.
Stop pretending that punishing me all day means nothing to you.

by RedfeatheR
MY CHILD! Why are you calmly allowing my raggety spawn to sup upon your chest?
Hey lemme get a sup- wait one cotton tittin' minute... If you only have tw- Did you ever have three chest-fat-flapjacks?
My son calls them that. He's very clever... CFFJ's for short.... He pronounces the abbreviation though.... When he sneezes he pops wood because of the intense similarity between "CFFJs" and a sneeze


by choadwarrior
Mr. White, it's unfair that I write the most in-depth investigative stories, yet I only earn 73% of what Clark Kent makes.
Nobody is reading your self-indulgent pieces about your adventures with Superman.
I can't help it if I kept getting rescued by the Man of Steel every time I report on a super villain attack on Metropolis.
Clark gets more clicks.
People really want to know, "Top Ten Things You Don't Know About Bizarro World?"
"You'll Never Guess What Lex Luthor Looked Like With Hair" was our top story last week.

by evil_d
Hey, barkeep. Give me an Irish Car Bomb.
Sorry, but this is the UK and that's really offensive. I can make you a "Twin Towers", though.
What's that?
I fill two tall shot glasses with liquor, then set them on fire and knock them over.
That's stupid. I wouldn't pay for that.
Well, you could always make Iraq pay for it.

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