people possums is following

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latest comics from people possums is following

by crabby
6-17-19
Have you seen my socks?
Have you checked your feet?
Wow! I don't know what I'd do without you babe.
I hate this planet.

by crabby
6-17-19
So I got Mom and Dad tickets to Medieval Times for their anniversary. If you could just chip $450 to cover your half then we can say it's from the both of us.
A night at Medival Times does not cost $450 for two people.
Oh! Well, I had a groupon.
Oh ok. That makes sense.
So yeah, you can give me cash or Cash App me or Pay Pal, but I won't take a check. Not after last time.
I just don't want to pay to have the corpses of my parents hauled off to a night at Medieval Times. They've been dead for 35 years, Karl. Move on.

by crabby
6-11-19
So tell me about a typical day at your current position.
I have no idea what that means.
What do you do at your current job.
Well, I show up and do my job.
Thank you for applying. We'll contact you if you're chosen for the next steps in the hiring process.
I look forward to hearing from you.

by crabby
6-11-19
So I was reviewing potential candidates on Indeed last night and I happened to come across your information. Are you looking for other jobs? Should I be concerned about you leaving your position?
I go on Indeed from time to time. Mainly to check to make sure my job isn't being posted. I don't want to be caught by surprise like what happened to my predecessor.
No one wants you replace you.
Then we have nothing to worry about. I merely keep an updated resume on file if it's ever needed.
We're going to have to let you go. We can't have a Production Supervisor that isn't dedicated to the role. We'd like you to stay onboard for up to another six months as part of our transition process.
Oh wow! Well, I've been looking for a new job so we'll see how long it takes me to find one and then you can go **** yourself.

by kaufman
6-10-19
Do you have any fours?
Go Fish!

by crabby
6-05-19
I've decided to try this new thing. It's called "Stripcreator."
"Stripcreator"? What do you do with it?
You create your own strips.
Create your own strips? Strips of what? Bacon?

by biped
6-03-19
I've decided to try this new thing. It's called "Stripcreator."
"Stripcreator"? What do you do with it?
You create your own strips.
Create your own strips? Strips of what? Bacon?

by crabby
6-02-19
I have an audition with a local sketch comedy troupe next week and I'm pretty nervous about it.
I had no idea you were even interested in sketch comedy. Do you have any characters you'e been working on or anything like that?
I've been working on an impressions of you. I hope they like it.
An impression of me, huh? Lets hear it!
I smell!
That was awful.

by crabby
6-02-19
I've had a real long week.
What happened?
I called my back up drug dealer and it turns out his oldest daughter died of an overdose last week.
Sounds like he's the one that has been having a bad week. What happened to you?
Well, I had to spend an hour talking to him about his feelings while picking up my weed.
That does sound awful!

by smamurai
5-15-19
So you only ever spoon with your sex robot?
Yep, I get into bed and he gets right in behind me
That’s kinda cute
Well I say ‘spoon’ but it feels more like a frikkin ladle bludgeoning my colon
Bedtime
It’s 9am sir

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