people simon_on_fire is following


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by Chi_The_Cynic
I've been working on the Odaco project and have a few questions which I think you can answer
You do?
Will you explain how the code handles unexpected items in the hierarchy?
Oh, my mistake, I thought you developed it
I did, but I've resigned now and really don't care

by Chi_The_Cynic
It probably won't come as much of a surprise that I'm resigning today
But why? I thought you liked it here?
I'm having to do the job of two people and it just isn't working out
Well, I hope you'll stick around to help us recruit your replacement
Later that day
I've spoken to the director and we've decided to hire two people now that you're leaving

by Chi_The_Cynic
Bet you're jealous of my new iPad
Isn't it just a fat iPhone that can't make calls?
No, it's also an eBook reader!
But you don't read
Shut up!

by Chi_The_Cynic
So, you want to leave your bag in the security office overnight. Ok, fill out the card on both sides and leave it with me
Er.. this card says I should fill out a description of the item, but that's the side that you're attaching to the laptop bag. There's only the "quantity of items" on the slip I'm keeping...
Yeah, to remind you of how many items you left behind
But shouldn't my slip have the description on it so that your colleague will know I'm the right person collecting the bag tomorrow?
No need for that, he'll just ask you to point out which bag is yours

by Chi_The_Cynic
Translation: I have no idea what you're talking about
Thank you for bringing this to my attention, I really value your opinion
Translation: The only way to survive the work hours is to take hard drugs
Our company has a "work hard, play hard" mentality
Translation: Lose some weight, fatty
Hey, have you been working out?

by Chi_The_Cynic
...and that's the end of the demo. So can you see an area of your business where this product would come in useful?
Well, I can't, but I'm sure Tony can. He's an expert with this product.
Erm... so why did you request a demo of the product, given that you already own it and have an expert in-house?
I didn't
Then why am I here giving this demo today?
Well, your salesman kept ringing me up asking if he could schedule a demo, and so I agreed, just to get him off my back.

by Chi_The_Cynic

by Chi_The_Cynic
Many sleepless nights later
Ok, based on our last discussion, the application now does everything at a click of a button
Whoa, steady on there... what about security? Are you saying users can just do everything with one click, no prompts, no pop-up reminders?
Well, that is what you asked for
We can't go live like this! There'll be pandemonium! We need at least 3 or 4 steps to be taken by a user before they can complete a sale with the app!
But that's how it was bef-

by Chi_The_Cynic
Now look what you've done! The customer has asked for a simple requirement and you said it wasn't possible!
Simple requirement? They want us to give them something that isn't possible with the software we bought!
The software we bought is customisable, what's the problem?
What is being asked for is not a customisation, it's a complete rewrite from scratch
Ok, I'll let you get on with it then, glad we had this chat

by Chi_The_Cynic
So the application works to spec, all functionality has been covered and there will be huge improvements on your previous app
Does it perform the entire business sales process at the click of a button?
Well, not one single click, but-
That's a showstopper! We can't go live with it like that!
But your existing app takes about 7 or 8 different steps, the new one takes only 3 or-

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