people skagg is following

apejuice, boorite, DexX, fuck, gabe_billings, Graehe, kaufman, nailbunny, NastyPope, Spankling, squidrabies, vichyssoisegirl, wirthling

latest comics from people skagg is following

page 2

by kaufman
Doctor, what happened? You look terrible.
Toughest Caesarian I ever performed. It turned out they were conjoined twins.
Yes, halfway down. Everything from the intestines down was one body, and everything above it was two.
So they split at ...
It was the first time I'd ever seen a triodenum!

by kaufman
Nyet, Nyet, Nyet, ****ing NYET!
What's the matter, Pyotr? Another rejection?
Da! Those nyekulturni critics wouldn't know a good overture if it hit them over the head. I swear, one more nyet and I'll shoot up all of St. Petersburg.
Oh, come on. I'm sure the next one will be well received.
Really? Do you know how many rejections I've had? 1811. That's eighteen hundred and ****ing eleven!

by kaufman
R.I.P. Maya Angelou

by kaufman
The White House, April 13, 1865
I'm sorry, honey, I guess I just have a lot on my mind.
That's ok, dear. We'll work it out.
The next day, the First Lady is dusting off a lamp in the Lincoln Bedroom, when suddenly:
You have freed the Genie of the Lamp. To show my gratitude, I will grant you one wish. But remember, I am a bit hard of hearing.
A wish? I guess what I really want is to get Abe Viagra.
Your wish shall be granted tonight.

by kaufman
Ford's Theatre, April 14, 1865
Sic semper tyrannis!
Ugh! I've been hit!
Mary! Who is that man who appeared in our box? He took a bullet that was intended for me.

by kaufman
It started at dinner many years ago when a little piece of string slipped into his spaghetti. He ate it unknowingly, and the little bit of string thrived in his virile Vigoda juices.
It grew and grew, until it was hundreds of miles long, and agglomerated into a giant ball. Abe's body could no longer function, so his relatives came from far and wide to memorialize the great man.
Today, people come from across the land to see the miraculous shrine that his perforated corpse has become.
We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine ...
... in Abe Vigoda!

by kaufman
The contract makes it clear. Let's do it already.
All right, Millard, we're coming. Go lie down and let's get this thing over with.
When their manager promised them an opportunity to rock the Fillmore, they never dreamed he meant this.
And he is SO fired!

by kaufman
Oh good, the movie's about to start. You know, honey, this was always my favorite film. And not just because we were in it.
Wow, we were great in it. Look at that! And the ending is unbelievable.
What? You thought we were talking Ron & Nancy?
It always brings a tear to my eye, the way you reached for my brain ...
I know you love the Zapruder film, Jack, but maybe next week we can watch something else? There's a new Meryl Streep movie coming out.

by kaufman
Summer, 1908. Aliens beam up and revive the recently interred body of former president Grover Cleveland in order to learn more about the human species.
However, on returning his body to earth, a transporter malfunction causes him to split into two.
Hello, I am Grover Cleveland.
No you're not. I am Grover Cleveland.
I'm telling you, I am Grover Cleveland, 22nd President of the United States.
And I am telling you, I am Grover Cleveland, 24th Pres .... Wait, what did you say?

by kaufman
Doc, I chipped my tooth. Can you do something about it?
Let me take a look. Open wide.
Oh yes, that is a bad chip. Tell me, how did this happen?
Well, I wanted to buy something online, and the website said they only accept bitcoins.
So I put a quarter in my mouth, but no matter how hard I tried to bite it, it wouldn't leave a mark. Finally, I chomped down as hard as I could ...

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