people smamurai is following

akirajim, biped, boorite, Choobychooby, crabby, DazzyJef, dcomposed, Digger, EvilZak, Jeanster, jes_lawson, kaufman, kramer_vs_kramer, Matchbook_Romance, mmyers, ObiJo, umfumdisi, whoreable


latest comics from people smamurai is following

by kaufman
2-13-19
This episode was scheduled to air on November 24, 1963.
Arf! Arf Arf. Rrrrruff!
What's that, Lassie?
Arf Arf Arf. Rarararrr!
Timmy stole a rifle from my gun cabinet and hooked the trigger to a timer?
For some reason, CBS never broadcast it, and destroyed the tapes
Ruff rufff! RRRRRarrrf!
And went to Texas and left it on a grassy knoll, ready to go off midday Friday? I'm going to have to have a talk with that boy.

by kaufman
2-10-19
Huh?
Wait a minute!
You're not wearing a bunny suit. Does that mean that you don't need to wear one to keep the aliens from making you want to kill yourself?
And you're not wearing a clown suit. I was going to ask you the same thing. I think we've been had.
Hey, do you think we ought to tell the blindfolded family over there that there's really nothing to worry about?
Naaaaaaah.

by kaufman
1-22-19
Spock! I just heard this contest is going to be decided by a random number generator! I need to know a lucky number so we can win.
Captain, with all due respect, it is illogical to think of numbers as lucky. Besides, I am quite busy right now. Dr. McCoy asked me to improve a Christmas song.
Well, is there a number in that song I can use or something?
Very well, Captain. The number is 5,878,625,373,183.6
Five trillion, eight hundred what? What the hell carol is that from?
On the 5,878,625,373,183.6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 5,878,625,373,183.6 miles in a light year, 5,878,...

by kaufman
9-24-18
I told you to mop the mess hall. What do you think you're doing? ----------------------- I'm only sleeping.
*sigh*
That's the seventh comic in this Beatle Bailey collection that had that exact punch line.

by kaufman
9-07-18
Did you hear? The news reported this afternoon that Tom Jones died.
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that. I always thought he was so hot.
Me too. He always put so much into his singing.
By the way, do you know if he's going to be cremated?
I have no idea. Why?
Well, I have to know whether to bury my underwear or burn it.

by kaufman
8-17-18
Oh good, Rodney Dangerfield's coming on.
It's nice having a lot of money. I went out and bought a jukebox last month.
I tell you, it works great. Unless I request an Aretha Franklin song, that is. Then it plays nothing and eats my quarter.
I tell you, I don't get no Respect.

by kaufman
7-25-18
Yesterday
Last week I got the best job in the world! I'm a short order cook.
Best job in the world? What's so good about it?
I don't have to do anything! I just sit around all day and get paid for it.
Today
Hey, you look beat. How's work?
Awful. You know that remake of The Wizard of Oz they're making in town? A hundred ****ing munchkins came into our place to eat today.

by Jeanster
7-24-18
Theory 1: Debra is possessed by a fragrance demon.
Hahahahahaha! She will reek and won't even know it! Hahahahahaha!
Will an exorcist do pro bono work? We are strapped for cash.
Theory 2: Debra's body somehow is able to make its own fragrance. Too bad it's not a pleasant one.
She should be written up in medical journals!
Theory 3: The laundry products she uses are mislabeled as fragrance-free and she just does not realize it.
Her clothes smell heavily of fragrance when she leaves them in the restroom during her yoga class, right?
Eliminate the impossible. Whatever remains, however improbable must be the truth. Yep. It must be that.

by Jeanster
7-23-18
The boss had a private talk with Debra about her strong scent.
He hauled me into his office to tell me I have a heavy fragrance!
You mean he asked you politely to come to his office for a private meeting about it.
The boss said that others have noticed the strong scent coming from Debra.
What did you tell him??!! What did you tell him??!!
Don't you dare try to make this about YOU being the injured party! I have been putting up with your fragrance for MONTHS! MONTHS!
Debra relocated to an upstairs workstation.
Hey, folks upstairs! She's YOUR problem now! I'm going to celebrate the fact that I can now breathe clean air while working!

by Jeanster
7-23-18
Debra returned from vacation and she STILL reeked of heavy fragrance. She is so oblivious to it!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Unbelievable! It's still strong and makes me feel sick!
But talking about it upsets her, so I come up with ways to cope with the situation.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
The air purifier is on order. Cost me over a hundred dollars, but I need it!
The janitor saw the air purifier. I told him what it was for. He told me he noticed the heavy fragrance coming from Debra.
Yeah, it hits you really hard!
I am SO glad to know I'm not the only one who smells it.

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