people suicide_king is following

kaufman, PhreakyChinchilla, thochaos


latest comics from people suicide_king is following

by kaufman
8-12-19
........ 1) Give them a good meal before
having your way with them.
2) Don't skimp on the foreplay!

by kaufman
8-04-19
Y'know, Dave, you'll probably do a lot better if you hit the ball with an actual golf club, instead of that guitar.
You're missing the point, Bob. It's so beautiful here in Tehran, I want to be out on the course all day. If I shoot 500, so what?
Ok, whatever you s... hey, where'd you go?
Mr. President! I just heard another tanker was lost in the Persian Golf.
Great. I'll go on Twitter and blame it on immigrants.

by kaufman
8-04-19
Want some candy?
Sure.
What do you think?
Ewwwwwww! This tastes like monkey brains!
Well, of course it does. These are Rhesus Pieces.

by kaufman
7-03-19
In other news, auto executive Lee Iacocca has died at age 94.
Iacocca is credited with bringing Chrysler back from the brink during the 1980s.
His family released a short statement: "If you can find a better corpse, bury it."

by kaufman
6-10-19
Do you have any fours?
Go Fish!

by kaufman
3-28-19
Welcome to Disney World, the HAPPYest place on earth. We're proud to have you here, Ted.
Wait a minute, that's my line.
Huh?
I'm Walt Disney, and you're Ted Williams. And I'd like to welcome YOU here.
Oh, sorry, Walt. Brain freeze, I guess.

tahT !dwag ym hO ym detalfed nhoj !stnalpmi
Oh my gawd! That john deflated my implants!
by kaufman, 2-23-19

by kaufman
2-13-19
This episode was scheduled to air on November 24, 1963.
Arf! Arf Arf. Rrrrruff!
What's that, Lassie?
Arf Arf Arf. Rarararrr!
Timmy stole a rifle from my gun cabinet and hooked the trigger to a timer?
For some reason, CBS never broadcast it, and destroyed the tapes
Ruff rufff! RRRRRarrrf!
And went to Texas and left it on a grassy knoll, ready to go off midday Friday? I'm going to have to have a talk with that boy.

by kaufman
2-10-19
Huh?
Wait a minute!
You're not wearing a bunny suit. Does that mean that you don't need to wear one to keep the aliens from making you want to kill yourself?
And you're not wearing a clown suit. I was going to ask you the same thing. I think we've been had.
Hey, do you think we ought to tell the blindfolded family over there that there's really nothing to worry about?
Naaaaaaah.

by kaufman
1-22-19
Spock! I just heard this contest is going to be decided by a random number generator! I need to know a lucky number so we can win.
Captain, with all due respect, it is illogical to think of numbers as lucky. Besides, I am quite busy right now. Dr. McCoy asked me to improve a Christmas song.
Well, is there a number in that song I can use or something?
Very well, Captain. The number is 5,878,625,373,183.6
Five trillion, eight hundred what? What the hell carol is that from?
On the 5,878,625,373,183.6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 5,878,625,373,183.6 miles in a light year, 5,878,...

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