All comics by thechromemenace

Profile

 

by thechromemenace
6-11-02
So you and Jen seem to get along really well.
Yeah, she's good people.
So... do you use protection?
...
Because when your mother and I were-
JESUS CHRIST I'M EATING

 

by thechromemenace
6-14-02
Goddamnit, I don't want to be 20. Why can't I stay 19 forever?
Oh, come on now. You're only as young as you feel.
I mean, look at me! I'm 20 and I spend all day watching cartoons and playing videogames.
Anyway, I for one am glad because it doesn't feel like I'm robbing the cradle anymore.

 

by thechromemenace
6-14-02
AWWW, I'd call you cute right now, but Cosmo says not to.
Yeah, well Cosmo also tells you to stick your finger in your man's butt to turn him on.
...
...
...meaning that Cosmo's wrong.
phew.

 

by thechromemenace
6-17-02
THAT'S IT I'M DONE
YOU CAN ALL JUST SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS
mom:I CAN HEAR YOU AND ALSO I HATE YOU
You look upset. Listen, champ, your mother's been under a lot of stress, lately. Don't take it personally.
I'm just confused as to what she wanted us to shove up our asses.

 

by thechromemenace
6-18-02
AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
AGGRO CR-uh? What? I'm just shouting AGGRO CRAG. It sounds funny, try it. AGGRO CRAG. tee hee.
Maybe you should get a hobby. Or out of the house more often.
And maybe YOU should- oh fuck it, it's not worth getting pissy, not when there's AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG AGGRO CRAG...
"Lambskin works just as well," he said. "You get much more sensation than with latex," he said...

 

by thechromemenace
6-25-02
David saw minority report with a friend the other day.
I can't believe how non-capable steven speilberg is at subltety. He manages to both entertain and demean with minority report.
Yes.
It was both entertaining and insulting.
I mean, he just drives it home so goddamn much you'd think he made the movie for downies.
How so?
David was both entertained and insulted by minority report.
Because he's so non-subtle and repetative with what's blindingly obvious. Steven speilburg, that is.
Oh.

 

by thechromemenace
6-26-02
I think the world would be a much better place if everyone got a coupon for one consequence-free murder when they were born.
Um.
No, seriously, it'd be great. Everyone would be nicer to each other out of fear for getting killed.
MOTHERFUCKER JUST COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS THAT I DON'T HAVE A COUPON

 

by thechromemenace
7-16-02
In the year 2010...
Hi mum, i lost my scholarship toda-HOLY SHIT DRAGONS WHAT THE FUCK
ARGH DYING
10 years later...
Hi i am an american, the british are pussies! let's go slay some dragons
No way i hate you!!! Wait, i mean ok.
OH NO YOU FOUND MY SOLITARY WEAKNESS, HOW EMBARASSING
HOORAY!

 

by thechromemenace
7-17-02
Ok, just got my barracks made, now to summon a hero and some ground troops and get to creeping!
Not five seconds later...
Hi i've come to pillage your encampment, hope you don't mind.
HAR HAR SUCKER i've still got my secondary outpost!
You mean the one in the northeast that's on fire right now?
CRY

 

by thechromemenace
10-23-02
God, not only is she awesome and hot as all hell, but she actually seems to be enjoying my company! I think it's time...
..and so that's why I quit art school and am here now.
Hey, you wanna see the Ring with me sometime this week?
OH MY GOD THAT MOVIE IS AMAZING! I saw it with my girlfriend last week, it's scary as hell
I see. Will you excuse me for a second? I have to go stab myself in the face now.
Hey, good luck with that.

 

by thechromemenace
11-06-02
I must say, Collin Farrel isn't his usual sexy self as Bullseye.
no, but shut up because even bald with a giant facial scar I'd still let him shit on me.
did I say shit? I meant ummm... SIT. SIT ON ME.

 

by thechromemenace
11-06-02
So fellas, how 'bout women and their periods? Huh? Huh?
BOO
And how about that president of ours? Is he a piece of work or what?
YOU SUCK
HEY FUCK YOU DAD I'M TRYING TO DO A STANDUP ACT HERE
GET OFF THE STAGE

 

by thechromemenace
11-13-02
HEY LOOK EVERYBODY I'M A UNICORN
WE WANT CARROT TOP

 

by thechromemenace
11-30-02
OH YEAH NORMANDY BEACH WHAT NOW?? I'M KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES D-DAY STYLE!! YEAH!!
RICOCHET NOISE
WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT? WHERE'S THAT SNI-
BANG
OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE
YOU HAVE BEEN KILLED. PRESS [FIRE] TO RESTART THE LEVEL

 

by thechromemenace
12-09-02
hey, long time no talk to, how the hell are you?
i'm doing great! one more semester at drew and i'm moving to an apt. in the city.
hey remember that time we made out while your boyfriend was passed out drunk on your bed? we should do that agian sometime.
...
well if you're not with him anymore that's cool, we can just make out with nobody on the bed. i'm not picky.

 

by thechromemenace
1-29-03
BONGGGGGG
in the criminal justice system, there are two seperate but equally important groups.....
CLACKETYCLACKETYCLACK
wizard needs food, badly!
so have you found a job yet?
goddamnit dad these things take time.

 

by thechromemenace
2-06-03
Prolegomenon
SO YOU WANT TO COME OVER MY PLACE WITH ME AND MY NIGGERS?
Dissonance
SIR YOUR USE OF URBAN VERNACULAR OUT OF CONTEXT HAS MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE. IN ADDITION, YOU REALLY SHOULD SOFTEN THE "R"
OH NO OLD BEAN I'M AFRAID YOU'VE MISUNDERSTOOD ME
Dénouement
OH?
I OWN SLAVES

 

by thechromemenace
2-16-03
CLOTHES SHOPPING ON BDAY
Dude, those shelltoes ain't cutting it tonight, we need to get you some shoes, too
whatever man, when i'm paying it's all salvation army so what do i know?
tee hee let's see how these fit giggle hee hee ok lets ring them up tee hee
what the shit is up with this giggling, yo?
so i think she was giggling because the shoes were $500 and we didn't find out until after she charged it on your card.
yeah, probably. don't worry though, i put it on my company account.

 

by thechromemenace
2-16-03
...AND THEY TOOK ME TO NORDSTROMS TO GET SOME SHOES AND THEN WHEN I GOT BACK THEY HAD TWO CAKES AND THEY SANG ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND EVERYTHING!!!
well i'm glad you had a good time, champ
and they're just barely related to me, too. it's nuts. so for the record, you and mom haven't actually gotten me anything, right?
... correct.
well are we at least going to have a nice (belated) dinner?
i think there are some cold cuts in the fridge and rolls in the cabinet. i ate all the chips, though.

 

by thechromemenace
2-26-03
robert blake is gonna be on tv at 10
HOT
IN AN INTERVIEW HIS LAWYERS DONT WANT YOU TO SEE
I BET ITS CAUSE HE TALKS ABOUT HOW HE KILLED HIS WIFE and also had a boner when he did it
i know i had a boner when he did it

 

by thechromemenace
3-08-03
so i think you gave me your virus when we were drinking and watching road house, i just had a shit run through my system like a speeding bus with rabies.
you should try an enema. I only got better after it and really after two days of vomiting or spurting poo every half hour, putting liquid in your ass isn't that bad.
Listen, if you're trying to get me to clean myself out as a prelude to buttsex, just say so.
No, seriously. It's in a book called Dr Jensen's guide to Better Bowel Care. It explains everything.
i am going to repeat what i just said, except this time i am going to wink at you very obviously and also make kissy faces. GOT IT?

 

by thechromemenace
6-28-03
Sometime Junior Year, while working on the newspaper...
Hey cupid, what up?
Not much. That's a nice page layout you got there. Say, you ever hear of St. Christopher?
No, why?
Uh, no reason. Well, see you later!
Later...
HEY BLONDIE WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY PHOTOS?
Photo development is a chemical process that i can't just speed up. You're going to have to wait.

 

by thechromemenace
6-30-03
ok dave, it's go time, whatever you do DONT BE RETARDED.
Hey, Jack's told me a lot about you. Don't worry, good things.
HEY WHOS YOUR FAVOURITE SUPER HERO? MINE'S BATMAN
HE HAS A GRAPPLING HOOK

 

by thechromemenace
7-25-03
...and every time i'm with you i get a feeling that i don't get when i'm with anyone else and i guess what i'm trying to ask you is...
yes?
DO YOU LIKE ZELDA? I LIKE ZELDA
IT COSTS ONE RUPEE TO SHOOT AN ARROW

 

by thechromemenace
8-05-03
I want to make out with you so much right now.
So... what are you thinking right now?
Come on dave it's go time, don't fuck things up again.
Remember those hoverboards in back to the future 2? i was just thinking how awesome it'd be to have one. i'd be all ZOOOOOOOOM

 

by thechromemenace
8-09-03
TELEPHONE
sup
i have a promo copy of house of 1000 corpses.
so i'll be over in ten minutes, then?
yeah.

 

by thechromemenace
11-04-03
I'm going to call you "Mister Initiative" until the name no longer applies.
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not.
I know.

 

by thechromemenace
11-04-03
Well Tod's gone now, I hope you're properly trained.
Well it's not the first time i've done any of this, and i wrote down the parts that had too do with sending it to the printer, so there shouldn't be any problems.
I meant toilet trained.

 

by thechromemenace
12-23-03
yo check it out i got this fortune cookie
whatever those things are bullshit
actually this one says "Man is the architect of his own fortune"
...
whatever those things are bullshit

 

by thechromemenace
12-23-03
So when you make stripcreator comics is there any consistancy in what characters you use for who?
No, not at all. Cause see i'll use maura for both me and girls i'm interested in.
Wait you just said
I don't even... yo that's fucked up.

 

by thechromemenace
12-25-03
THE CHRISTMAS THAT ALMOST WASN'T!!!
OH NO it's almost a quarter to eleven and I still haven't played "Christmas in Hollis!" Christmas will be ruined!!!
THE END
LOOKED AT HIS DOG/OH MY GOD/A ILL REINDEER
Ha Ha! That was a close one!
Epilogue
JILL KELLY FUCKS THE DEVIL
UNF

 

by thechromemenace
1-04-04
WE MUST DESTROY THE EARTH!
YOU MEAN IN ORDER TO SAVE IT? LIKE FROM ITSELF?
YEAH WHATEVER

 

by thechromemenace
1-19-04
ugh Ugh UGH if there was a way to just burn the half of the office that my employer rents i swear to CHRIST i would do it.
Why? What happened this time?
Well it was revealed in last night's meeting that my workload will essentially be doubled, and I was already spread entirely too thin.
You should totally ride that shit out, at this rate you'll be running the place in 4 months!
Yeah, and at this rate i'll be making $300 a month by then.

 

by thechromemenace
2-02-04
Hey you're a feminist right? Because i have this really great practical joke that sticks it to the phallacracy!
So go to like a costume shop and get some dracula fangs, right? And then when you're with your man and so forth, wait until he's not looking and cram that sucker up into your baby chute.
And then just wave that shit in his face and be all "GRAAH GRAAH SOCIETY WAS RIGHT I DO WANT TO BITE IT OFF" and then hey where are you going

 

by thechromemenace
11-25-04
GODDAMNIT WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?
Because your pee tastes funny.

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