All comics by tomoleary

 

When Technology Comes Full Circle
I have an email for special delivery. Are you Dyno-chick?
Yea, that's me. This is the coolest! Email delivered by hand! You guys rock!
by tomoleary, 12-19-05

 

by tomoleary
1-04-06
Permission marketing gone too far
Do ya' wanna play some hoops? I just got a new ball !
I don't remember giving you permission to ask me that question.
But you were at the court last week.
I don't remember being at the court last week.
Dude, you just have to say no if you don't want to play.
I feel violated. I'm reporting you. You'll never be able to play in this town again!

 

by tomoleary
1-23-06
Rex Montgomery's Exclusive Interview with Google's Public Affairs Chief.
I'm Rex Montgomery from Spy Channel 3. Will Google release its search query report to the government?
Well, we'd like to, but, well, er...it's just a bit sensitive...and...
But what??! Have you got something to hide??
Well, er, no; it's just that , er...
Stop protecting pornographers!! Don't you think that it's time to come clean and expose the dirty laundry to the public! America demands answers!
This from the guy who searched 112 times for Anna Kounikova's belly button lint!!

 

by tomoleary
1-23-06
Rex Montgomery Reports
"Today,Google announced plans for a revolutionary, ground-breaking service that will transform the Internet as we know it. Beginning as early as next week, Internet users will have the ability...
to schedule time with each other to actually meet face-to-face and talk live. A Google spokeswoman said that this revolutionary platform will enable users to connect in real-time...
and even allow for physical interaction like handshakes and playful slaps on the ass. Google critics say that the announcement is just a smoke screen, and even if it did happen, would never catch on."

 

Zen 2.0
I've searched everywhere for the answers master. I'm just not finding the clarity that I had hoped for. Can you enlighten me?
The path to enlightenment has been with you all along grasshopper. Refine your search on Google and you will find what you are looking for.
by tomoleary, 2-09-06

 

by tomoleary
4-16-06
Simplicity 2.0
Dr. Maxwell, we’ve come up with a solution for your daily status update from Dr. Bell.
Great, what is it?
We can RSS an IM podcast to your WAP email via a wireless satellite connection to Dr. Bell’s blog.
Thanks. He’s calling me tomorrow. I’ll tell him we have a solution in place.

 

BadMail: Consider it authenticated!
My clients pay good money to ensure that their email gets delivered. Slowly take your finger away from the delete button.
by tomoleary, 4-24-06

 

by tomoleary
5-11-06
Bebo vs. MySpace: The Front
Hey little cousin, are you on Bebo yet?
Nah, my mom won't let me.
That's whack. There are lots of 8 year olds with profiles today.
Oh, she doesn't mind me social networking, it's just that she works for MySpace and we're prohibited by contract to interact with Bebo dorks.
Is that legally binding? Sounds like segregation all over again. And, by the way l'il cousin, I'm one of those Bebo dorks!
Bebo is for chumps. You're going down cyberboy!

 

by tomoleary
5-17-06
Bebo Anonymous: Lenny the Loser
Hi. My name is Lenny and I'm addicted to Bebo.
Hi Lenny!
I started on MySpace when I was younger. But needed something stronger. Something more intense.
uh huh. We feel your pain man.
I have 423,000 friends now, and haven't left the house in 2 years.
Damn, he's such a loser. I wish I was his friend too.

 

by tomoleary
5-24-06
Bebo Bullies: The New Tough Guys
Give me your lunch money and MAYBE I won't delete your profile loser.
*sniff, sniff* Bebo is all I have left *sniff*. I'll do anything that you say *sniff*. Please don't destroy me *sniff*

 

by tomoleary
5-24-06
Bebo Bullies: The New Tough Guys
Give me your lunch money and MAYBE I won't delete your profile loser.
*sniff, sniff* Bebo is all I have left *sniff*. I'll do anything that you say *sniff*. Please don't destroy me *sniff*

 

Google Life: The Big Red Button
Google announced its plans to release 'Google Life', a one-stop, do everything that you want it to database that will offer users all the information in the world by clicking on one big red button.
by tomoleary, 5-31-06

 

Willy Wonka 2.0
So you see, Marlie, it's all yours. I can't go on running this business forever. And I can't give it to a grown up - they'd just ruin it Marley. So it's yours, it's all yours.
Wow! Neato! Thanks Mr. Gates!
by tomoleary, 6-19-06

 

Second Life: First Kiss
I am the king of Second Life. I am so cool. All the chicks dig me. I am a god in Second Life.
Too bad you're such a loser in the this one.
by tomoleary, 7-06-06

 

by tomoleary
7-22-06
Rex Montgomery Reports: Piracy 2.0
Hi this is Rex Montgomery talking live to one of the 3 suspects detained for music piracy.
Just call me Ice.
So, Ice, you're saying that you have a digital collection of 100,000 albums, but that you're not involved in piracy at all? Is that what you're telling us?
Arrrgggh dude, I don't even know where they came up with that piracy thing. I just love music. Especially that ole sea farin' stuff. Arrgggh.

 

The History of the Internet
Lord, we have diverted the water from the aquiduct using a series of tubes. The kingdom should be safe from flooding.
A series of tubes? How very interesting. I want to know more about this series of tubes and how it might revolutionize the world.
by tomoleary, 7-28-06

 

Alexis Montana Reports: Google Surgery Beta Launch Glitch
Google's new online medical service, Google Surgery, met a few glitches today when Virtual Doctor Kenny severed the head of their first customer. Over to you Rex.
by tomoleary, 8-04-06

 

by tomoleary
8-11-06
Public Relations 2.0
JACKS BIG BLOG

Anonymous Loser:
Personally, I have experienced excellent customer service with Acme Corporation!
JILLS BIG BLOG

Anonymous Loser:
I don't know about the others, but Acme always responds quickly!
We just lost our most lucrative client at Acme. They said our customer service sucked.
They don't pay me enough!

 

by tomoleary
8-11-06
Public Relations 2.0
JACKS BIG BLOG: Anonymous Loser "Personally, I have experienced excellent customer service at ACME Corporation!"
JILLS BIG BLOG: Anonymous Loser - "I don't know about the others, but ACME responds very quickly!"
We just lost our most lucrative client at ACME. They said our customer service sucked!
They don't pay me enough!

 

by tomoleary
8-23-06
10:00 am
Well, geez, it sounds too good to be true, but they say opportunity rings less than twice, who do I make the check out to?
That's the beauty of it. You don't have to sell any products to get rich. I swear, it's not a pyramid scheme. You'll be a professional gold affiliate member.
2:00 pm
Well ain't that somethin'. I'm gettin' rich twice today! Today is my lucky day for sure!
"If you will be so very kind to accept 25,000,000 United States dollars from the estate of Shymeodico Gusmonsvz, give us your account number..."
6:00pm
Heh. Them fancy news people are always tryin' to trick ya into believin' stuff!
"Rising global temperatures are expected to raise sea level, and change precipitation and other local climate conditions..."

 

by tomoleary
8-25-06
Email Addicts Group - Monday
My name is Lenny and I don't think I should be here. I might send some emails out late at night instead of calling someone, and...
You're in denial Lenny!
Video Game Addicts Group - Wednesday
My name is Lenny, and I just finished level 2 of Donkey Kong, but...
It's all downhill from there Lenny!
Internet Addicts Group - Friday
My name is Lenny, and I haven't emailed, surfed the net or played video games in 2 weeks. I'm consumed by the beauty that surrounds me!
You should come to our Tuesday Group for Life Addicts Lenny! You've hit rock bottom man!

 

by tomoleary
9-15-06
The Quantum Email Marketer
I am sending this email with thoughts of prosperity
I am feeling very prosperous as I read this email

 

Halloween 2.0
I'm a witch. What are you?
I'm a Tween. A nightmare for Internet marketing departments.
by tomoleary, 10-13-06

 

by tomoleary
11-10-06
The Push and Pull of Marketing
Take it!
I don't want it!
Take it!
I don't want it!
Angelina Jolie has one.
Does it come in blue?

 

Sacrificing Answers
Master, I have given all of my heart and soul and every ounce of my effort, but I just don't have the answers anymore.
Ah, Googleson, the answers have always been with you and always will be. But c'mon, did you see the questions that those idiots were asking? It was ridiculous!
by tomoleary, 12-01-06

 

by tomoleary
4-13-07
The Twitter Effect
Loser: "Just fired for not focusing on my work" less than 20 seconds ago from web
Loser: "Girlfriend said I wasn't engaged enough" less than 10 seconds ago from im
Loser: "Life just crumbled. What is everyone else doing? less than 5 seconds ago from twitterific

 

The Twitter Effect (Remix)
I lost my job, wife and life because of my addiction to twitter. What is everyone else doing? 5 seconds ago from web
by tomoleary, 4-17-07

 

The History of the Internet
Lord, we have diverted the water from the aqueduct using a series of tubes. The kingdom should be safe from flooding.
A series of tubes? How very interesting. I want to know more about this series of tubes and how it might revolutionize the world.
by tomoleary, 8-16-07

 

by tomoleary
9-29-07
Small is the new big
You're in my seat.
Uh, you're a squirrel dude.
If you don't move now, I'll bite your ankles and you'll have to get 50 rabies shots in your stomach.
That would suck.
Squirrels rule.

 

by tomoleary
10-12-07
The HTML Rendering Runaround
Fast Eddy, do you have any email templates that render in AOL?
Buddy, I've got templates for AOL, Hotmail, Yahoo, Earthlink, Outlook, GMail...
Do you have any that renders across all of them?
Buddy, I'm a scalper, not a magician.

 

by tomoleary
10-12-07
The HTML Rendering Runaround
Fast Eddy, do you have any email templates that render in AOL?
Buddy, I've got templates for AOL, Hotmail, Yahoo, Outlook, GMail...
Do you have any that renders across all of them?
Buddy, I'm a scalper, not a magician.

 

by tomoleary
10-12-07
The HTML Rendering Runaround
Fast Eddy, do you have any email templates that render in AOL?
Buddy, I've got templates for AOL, Hotmail, Yahoo, Outlook, GMail...
Do you have any that renders across all of them?
Buddy, I'm a web designer, not a magician.

 

by tomoleary
8-14-09
The Outlook for HTML Email Standards
Is there any way that Outlook and Outlook Express can use HTML standards that support HTML email designed in something other than Word?
I see your lips moving but I don't hear anything.
I said, IS THERE ANY WAY THAT OUTLOOK AND OUTLOOK EXPRESS CAN USE HTML STANDARDS THAT SUPPORT HTML EMAIL DESIGNED IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN WORD!!?
It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

 

by tomoleary
9-01-09
Oligarhy Corporate Headquarters
I can't believe I sent that email to our media list Jim. I only meant to send it to the warehouse team.
Keep that chin up Jason. I bet our company picnic tomorrow will brighten your spirit!
...meanwhile
This just in. Oligarhy has just announced that CEO Jim Sauceman is leaving his post.
That's right Meredith. According to the email, he is having surgery so he can live life like the woman he was meant to be.

 

by tomoleary
9-01-09
Oligarhy Corporate Headquarters
I can't believe I sent that email to our media list. I only meant to send it to the warehouse team.
Are you ready for the company picnic tomorrow Jim?
Meanwhile...
This just in. Oligarhy has just announced that CEO Jim Sauceman is leaving his post.
That's right Meredith. According to the email, he is having surgery so he can live life like the woman he was meant to be.

 

by tomoleary
9-01-09
Oligarhy Corporate Headquarters
I can't believe I sent that email to our media list. I only meant to send it to the warehouse team.
Are you ready for the company picnic tomorrow Jason?
Meanwhile...
This just in. Oligarhy has just announced that CEO Jim Sauceman is leaving his post.
That's right Meredith. According to the email, he is having surgery so he can live life like the woman he was meant to be.

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