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latest comics from people umfumdisi is following

What am I looking at..?
The dark roast.
And, you want me to what exactly?
I want you to pour me a cup, dip****!
With what? My *****?
You must be related to that little ****, Elbows Ethan!

by kaufman
8-17-18
Oh good, Rodney Dangerfield's coming on.
It's nice having a lot of money. I went out and bought a jukebox last month.
I tell you, it works great. Unless I request an Aretha Franklin song, that is. Then it plays nothing and eats my quarter.
I tell you, I don't get no Respect.

by choadwarrior
8-17-18
There's a good taco shop down the street you should try.
Is it authentic?
Very.
Is it next door to a payday loan and check cashing business?
No.
You don't know what the **** you are talking about.

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-18
Greetings Earthling!
?
Hey you! You talkin to me? YOU talkin to ME? Well, I'm the only one here, but if you won't answer me, I'm gonna bounce!
Looks like DeNiro won't ever mess with Trump again!

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-18
What the...?
You're my idol!
Freakin Groupie!
But I'm emmulating you?
After a brief "Grieving Period"...
Man up, ***!
Sorry, my idol! I forgot the mask!

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-18
You'll be perfect for this ad campaign!
I will? What's the product?
Levi's Jeans!
But why ME?
You're the target consumer for their "501 Botfly" Jeans.
It figures!

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-18
A field on the West side of Chicago...
Looks like he was strangled, beaten, stabbed several times in the neck, set on fire & run over.
So, it's obviously another gang related...
Suicide!
Suicide? But, how can...
How can we work on an empty stomach, you ask?
The donut truck just pulled up behind me. Didn't it?

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-18
College is too expensive so I'm gonna be a surfer.
I'm afraid not, son. NYU Medical School is now FREE!
But we live in Mississippi, not New York!
Using THAT logic, you won't be able to be a surfer either ! Mississippi isn't California!
But George's son finally found a way....
Going surfing in THAT outfit, son?
Kinda. Let's just say I'm gonna "hang 10".

How's the patient doctor?
D-E-C-E-A-S-E-D
Tell me what it means to me!
It, uh, means dead, right?
sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me...

by Makin_d_bacon
8-16-18
Recently, in Hollywood....
They defaced another of my "Hollywood Stars" officer!
We'll see they get what's coming to 'em, sir. I promise!
Dave, find the kid responsible and bring him to me at the Precinct.
Roger THAT!
At the Precinct.......
THIS time, I want TEN tickets to the big game!
C'mon...yer killin me here kid. All I got is eight!

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