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latest comics from people umfumdisi is following

by kaufman
5-27-20
Doctor, did I see you treating Mary Poppins this morning?
Yes, that was her. In the flesh!
You're kidding. What was wrong with her?
All sorts of things. Abdominal pain, shortness of breath, dryness, nausea, sliding up banisters, continually needing to pee, ...
Were you able to diagnose her?
Yes. It's supercalifragilisticketoacidosis!

Wow...
Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!
My six-feet social-distancing electro-shock force-field really works!
Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!
Feel the burn, *****!
Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!

Dammit, I can't get past the super-goblin!
A2 up, then B1 left, moron!
You're an ofice plant... What do you know?
JUST DO IT!!
Okay, A2 up, then B1 left and... Wait. WTF?? The screen went blue! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!
That'll teach for listening to an office plant! MORON!!

Why are you buying all the toilet paper?
Jake's gonna force me to stay in my house.
Why are you wearing a face mask in the office?
I heard Jake was contagious.
Why are all the old people dying?
Jake killed them.

Hey Rags, we are having spaghetti tonight and ironically enough we have no Ragu for you.
It can't be my turn to go to the store. Besides, we have no face masks and Deb won't make any.
Trump said you could use anything to cover your mouth.
I'll see what I can find.
You think these bed sheets will work?
Oh the guys at Kroger are gonna have a heyday with this!

Hey! You're a ninja!
No. I'm not a ninja.
You're wearing a face mask indoors. You must be a store employee!
Nope. I don't work here.
You're wearing a face mask indoors. You're not a ninja or a store employee, so that means you must be...
A Biden supporter.

by Lord_Vodek
5-19-20
In ancient times hidden in the East
The masters from my clan are unmatched in Crane Style
there were three great clans
You best respect the Slap of Doom, lest you become a victim of it you hear?
with distinctive combat styles
The IBS clan is unmatched in improvised tactics. CROUCHING TOILET EXPLODING ASSHOLE

by kaufman
5-19-20
We are the essential workers risking our health to keep you alive during this COVID-19 outbreak.
We are the hospital workers, grocery store workers, drivers, restaurant workers, public safety officers, everyone needed to keep society working.
Unfortunately, there just isn't enough PPE to protect us. They can't give us a bunch of N-95 masks.
It really sucks, doesn't it? We do this critical work, and there is no equipment to keep us safe.
So instead, we've been wearing these masks, and it turns out they're even more effective.
Because who in their right mind would want to get within six feet of any of us?

Ah, Jerry. You will be missed.
You filled your roles on Seinfeld and King of Queens with so much life. In fact, looking at you now,
I don't think you've ever been stiller.

Come on Richie, There's really no need to be that upset.
Erectile dysfunction happens to a lot of men your age.
Yeah, but it's personal. There was no need to put that story in the news.
That's not what the papers meant when they reported that Little Richard had died.

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