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Disco_Jesus, FlamingJesus, Injokester, JESUSSANDWICH, JesusWasMyMother, Jesus_on_a_stick, Jesus_Sweets, masturbatingjesus, mysticaljesus, NastyPope, NooniePuuBunny, pumpaction_jesus, SweetZombieJesus, theReverend, wildjesus

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by Injokester
No madam, **** used to be the correct term, it only became vulgar because of Grope**** Lane, a humourous street in London's red-light district.
It was the association with prostitutes that made it vulgar. Vagina on the other hand is Latin for "sword-sheath".
Mr President, you still haven't explained why you've been ****ting in them.
The PR people only said I can't **** on women anymore.
Fucking suitwits, I hear you.

by Injokester
We will build the wall out of aluminum.
Which I'm told is next to Magnesum on the perodic table of the elments.
See, I told you I'm not the only idiot in this country.

by Injokester
Hey Injokester, why don't you draw a big set of female and ethnic characters to address stripcreator's lack of ethnic and gender diversity?
No, it'll only lead to white men arguing about their political views on the internet.
But that's your excuse for getting out of everything!
It literally works for everything.

by Injokester
So a Mormon, a Jehova's Witness and a Catholic walk into a bar, and they say:
Bartender, I come to you from the Mormom Church, and you MUST believe that I am the one that has come to save your soul.
Bartender, I come to you from the Jehova's Witnesses, and you MUST believe that I am the one that has come to save your soul.
Bartender, I come to you from the Catholic Church, and you MUST believe that I am the one that has come to save your soul.
And the bartender says:
No! I am Spartacus!

by Injokester
Little one I will tell you now of the tortoise and the hare.
The tortoise was smart, but the hare was retarded. So the other animals violently ****d it to death, staining it forever with woodland cum.
And now it lives atop Donald Trump's head.

by Injokester
Someone mixed up Finish the Comic with Before the Comic.
Yeah, FTC templates include the first panel, not the last.
...and why should I give a ****?

by Injokester
Okay, I just sat down for a parley with management,
Due to the casualties suffered trying to claim Finance as our territory we've decided to settle the matter with a chair race.
You what? Are you mad? Chen, do you really...
Wait, are Asians bad chair drivers or is that just cars?

by Injokester
What the hell? Sanderson, my computer's not responding. Can you grab the file?
Gah! My computer's operating on its own! What's going on?
Argh! Now mine's doing it! Oh crap, it's the employees.
We've been hacked! Sound the alarm!
Seven hours? Really? And you just switched their monitors?
Actually just the cables.

by Injokester
Okay, so I've just finished signing both our bosses up for every forum, project team and focus group the company has going.
And I've been dialling managers all morning and transferring the call to another manager before they answer.
Ooh, that's good.
Y'know it occurs to me that due to the Office Wars things have settled down considerably from the norm for the individual.
Oh, I know. I mean, nobody's chloroformed me and grafted a living animal onto my body in over a fortnight.
Fun, but a low payoff strategically. Maybe we should consider these efficiencies all year round?

by Injokester
Sanderson! We've got a problem! I think Chen and Melvin have recruited the IT section! I've been locked out of my computer three times today already!
Damn, so have I. And most of the management crew.
We have to do something! The IT network is a key objective! Strategic terrain Sanderson! It's the Office Wars equivalent of seizing a big hill!
Right, clear your schedule, drop everything, we make this our top priority from here out!
And all you did was put the wrong password in three times while they went to the can?

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